Friday, April 29
a poem written outa fun and to releve my stress levels
i mus be going nuts liao la
"pretty gal on the train"
yesterday, i saw a pretty gal
blond hair, long eyelashes and all
it was on the train when it happened
with her perfect fingers fiddling with her phone
her bright eyes looked intently at the machine
then to my boyish eyes
to which i was caught by surprise
i turned away in shyness then looked back
she was still looking at me
listening to music with the earphones in her ears
i wonder what she's thinking?then, it was my stop
reluctantly, i turned to leave
pushing through the crowd of people
looking back ather a last time
a long moment of sadness heaved
as i made my way out of te train
the door closed and the train left
taking her and the light of my day away
it was a brief but beautiful moment
when i met that pretty gal that day
yeah..thats it.shahir read it and first thingasked me if shes hot.nutball.it wuz true that isaw a pretty gal on WEDNESDAY.i bet jon wong didnt noe i wuz looking at her la.hahaha.yeah. but all those mushy shit didnt happen.juuz aded to make the poem sweet. she wuz blond in the sense tha she dyed her hair blond.but sdhes an OLDER LADY.like 20 plus?and i aint gonna turn out like buny who go and try date jc gals., oh man.hes a bloody person with no knocledge of his own limits.wadeva.
escorted @ 1:50 PM;
the worlds going crazy
my world seems to be collapsing on me. i am not studying for common test at all. i am issing one green stout and taylor book and i dunno where to buy it. i gonna waste time today to go shopping for it.my watch strap broke.my pod presentation screwed itself up.i onliy had 3 hours of sleep las night cos i wuz preparing my iso board.i feel like juz quiting school man. or drop soemthing.scream or what....
list for kangdi:
firstly u suck
secondly, stop blaming jon wong. hes onli a kid.ur sixteen.pls act ur age
three. u can neva hurt me physically cos my body is builkt to withstand punches so no matter how much u hit me, itsonli ur hand that will be hurt
fourthly, dont act ah beng with me. u can neva make it.onli make urself to be a loser thats al
fifth, WAKE UP. time to wake up and smell reality. common tests are coming.stop playin with the kid and start studying
sixth, everything is ur fault
seventh, u didnt do anything for POD except read out the intro
eighth, if u dare suggest slacking at a wrong time i will punch u dead.flat on the nose.
nineth, shut ur mouth
today, i didnt noe what i wuz doing at all. the whjole time i wuz proving the existence of God instead of talking bout how science and religion should neger meet. i m juz a bloody screw up case man.its damn siao la.
kangdi provides a source of entertainment man. we did thge fainting spell on him. after trying 7 times then succeed.and then...he fainted. and then he woke up.after all kinds of torture, the first question heasked me wuz: since when were u a senior prepfect? seems like we killed most of his little amount of brain cells.boy doesnt bother to studyu la.wasted sia....
and stop calling me senior prefect sean lee...hell, u think its damn fun to be called like that? leme tel u kangdi,ur ssg rank is show of underdog phenomena.how a punk can get ssg rank in ncc air.and i will punch u if u state my status name again.dont doubt my power as prefect.its freaking irritating that ppl juz say prefect are perfect.we aint. i will kill the next pewrson who expects to lead by super exampls. we aint superhumans. i m on the brink of break down or something.and its not prefects. its the sthressing fact of bio.shite. i am talking nonsense. i gonna buy sly's album.nice music he has
escorted @ 1:31 PM;
Tuesday, April 26
if i wuz a psychologist....
yeah if i were a psychologist, i would....
abit of recount here la. las saturday not feeling myself so er...quite a weird posting.yeah, friday, i wrecked muthu's sea unit cupboard and i bet hes quite pissed.like i wuz using some palm techniques on it la.then i kicked it.no dent. jamien kicked it with full force, it almost ripped apart. not my fault. i wuz using foot and he used shoe.wadeva
sunday, went library.gave my brother hell for being a hothead.yeah.pissed him off real bad.then he wanted to take revenge on me.then he knew i wuz christian somehow and so...he tried to hinrt to my dad.undfortunately he sucks at such things. rather unsuccessful. u need at least an average iq of a human to take me down., andhe doesnt have that .muahahah...i play politics too much man.wan fight with bout such stuff?learn bout it first. this is also a nice announcement to all sas boys in coa...PLEASE PLEASE dont tell my brother, if u noew him, that i m in church. dont say hey i saw ur brother in church....otherwise my head will roll.
yeah. did finish my iso and handed it in. kangdi should be shot down man....cos of POD.
yesterday, during pastoral care, we were talknig bout teenage relationships.haha.surprisingly noone in that group had any relationship thingies.so quite stone la.then ong siew lian wuz like telling us ok to have relationship but cannot have probs otherwise u're a goner.man, i tried to say that if u block ur mind from such stuff.wth can pass through to clog ur brain.and yiyang said i had gal probblems.man. i DONT have ok?read recent postings.
man i feel like a psychologist.u see in terms of feelings that will clog up ur brain.hence make u weak. u see it all comes by one part of ur brain that is in love.why bother even showing any tender loving care on ur other half when u donrt have to love. if u have been injureud enough times. ur mind tends to separate the mindfrom the heart.heres what would happen. first, the mind will lock a door temporaryly on those hurtful feelings.then it opens it.then the feelings run amok. then the mind catches such stuff and throws em into a walled area. and seals it in diamond. so that the onli thing that can open such a thing is a miracle.this way, ur mind in ib wun be affectred by gals.neither will u be troubled by gal problems now.good right? got bad side.without feeling any love. u feel shorttempered.PMS.angry.full of angst.unleash hatred more easily.u feel full of hatred and then u feel like u wanna smash as many people. gotta be careful there.
feels like some psychological paper. man u may call me dr lee...wadeva.sounds like a new calling in life man.haha.i m full of shite.
mmmmm.eating soe of those white biscuits in the board room now....new year goodies.
these days, got muscle che like crazy la. shoulder feels like on fire la.then put muscle relifef on it.felt like sun burn man. ooh. pain sia.
learnt a new art of pain giving...acupoint. tried it on kangdi and cheng liang.after i tried on myself. man., it huruts to press an acupoint.rui xiang started it on my finger. i wouldnt have known that one existed there if he hadnt tried.haha.
oh yeah. my SBJ changed to a C due to some kind mercies of chan chee wei. let me jump. had to turbo charge myselflike delay for like 5 mins. so i wuz like swinging like a fool for 5 mins sia.haha.and mysit and reach got A!thats 53cm...haha
ooh.the new board jacket isnt so good. its like traffic mata? pee.pee.hold hand up .direct traffic for duty...oh did i mention i bought the FIR cd? i wanted to buy it after the rugby fiunals that time.but forgot....alamak.but still got it.it rocks la.
escorted @ 3:07 PM;
Saturday, April 23
hair cut
argh...i wana kill kangdi sia....on wednesday when he actualli decided to stay abck to discuss pod. it wuz to late cos of his chinese o levels and....we were disturbing him like nuts.so no go. then i lent him my book for him to make the slides and then he neva come on thursday. conveniently fell sick. man. damn tired all these days.super tired. sleep late and wake up early. and bongard caught my long hair and he wuz staring at it. and i wuz like if u expect me to state what i am having unsatisfactory, u gotta be kidding. damn he did. so i got my hair cut yesterday after np. at qb parkway. man,now i look like some guai kia lor. damn toot sia. my fringe! damn....argh. exams coming. bloody shitty teachers still give hw? like whats wrong with u all?lets us alone to revise ur bull la. and still ahve oral commentary. on r n j. its like super gay la. from one piece of text can get how much inferences. shakespeare is really something....haiz. i m counting down to after common test then can go church.haha.cant wait....gotta mug bio and chem and physics and HCL.thats all isnt it. a maths and core maths are no kick this year man....haha
2 more weks and i can go church. or rather go out to my parents.yeah
escorted @ 12:55 PM;
Tuesday, April 19
a lot of moral issues
yeah ok lets talk bout issues here.
purpose in life-what are u doing thigns for?monday, for chapel( yeah loh chin ee cancelled follow up session so go chapel), the punk talks bout ur purpose inl ife. u do things for God right? yeah then i realised that i talked the wrong stuff to glen. yeah, iuf u doing things for God, maybe church aint that important. it depends...how God calls u...yeah thats all i have to say. need to develop thinking.and elborate
next, feelings( this ones for marian) and peple out there..if u are fuyll of feeling, then show it la. if u bottle it up, it sucks.and hey if u like someone, my gosh,use an appropriate method to go and express the feeling. and its nothing wrong to like a person. u are onli human.hello?knock knock?listen up lady.READ THIS PART over and over again please man. much as some poart of me says feeling is a weakness. its not. its human. yeah human is weakness.geddit? to be human is to be weak.and if u should cxry out in pain like when i stepped on my brother's toe, u;re showing u are weak....rather extremeist part of me.
in the end u re unhappy. and then the worse that can happen is that u go nuts like me...like hey man. my personality changed like 180 degrees or something compared to las yr or something...short circuit up ther some how...haha.and the worse thing now is that i actualli think the end is coming and i m not studying to make way for God. shite i m going nuts.yeah....and i mtreating kangdi like some punching bag. and i mrather using vicious ways around. and its not recent.
our school discipline system- man, i wuz handinhg out dc forms today and then...i realised that there were none from 4.7 although the biggest mafia king wuz from there. and some of the levels biggest pai kia are not listed.and the things is our discipline councillors are there too....and i m sure theres some conspiracy and i don't think its their fault.there is a big loop hole in our discip[line system.dont ask me where. its evrywhere. the day i se a student not following school rules will be the same time i see the loophole.and the juniors don't respect us. they don't fear us. they supposed to.not even probably associate urself or talk to us. u noe, dont even touch me kind of thing? but i dont see that. next senior prefect discipline.i have to say itrs not john or any council member thats at fault but th teachers. wth man. u treat us like ur bloody punching bags. not happy take it out on the prefect. and venu rao did juz that on yiyang and shreya. i mean the whole class wuz noisy. why pin point out th\e prefects? u expect us to keep ruyi xiang quiet? are u mad? we are diplomatic. if we could do things like police force, we would already but no..we have to be polite AND keep discipline.kenneth seah wuz the one who complained bout me.bongard sneakily told me.ok...but any teacher who expects us to keep discipline 100% and think we are some quiet punks. u are so DAMN wrong.everytime we have to change for them. u noe.modify. not they change.why? cos we have to make em happy. wth man. i had enough of this la.insensitive creatures.
hell, i m feelingsuper dead. the onli that keeps my life energy around is my guitar. i played jay chou songs on it. thats what keeps me going everyday, man there are times whewn i juz wan to juz quit school altogether. the timetabling committee is so cocked up!why give us 20 min recess? wth man. travel time takes up some time plus overlap.i m rili tempted to point the middle finger and juz say f***.but i don't why cos i knbow its not their fault. they are juz plain human., weak. thinking bout themselves onli .think bout $$.think bout their own benefits.hoew the staff gonna move theirr old legs on that stupid ELEVATOR. we climb up bloody 5 levels. and they juz press a button. i gonna blopw up alrready man.argh nuts.
and i hate bo chup the most.kangfdi says screw bio.ok i accept cos hes gonna drop bio next yr. buyt he says screw pod cos he wans to sleep. kangdi i wil make ur life hell everyday that we dun get to discuss pod presentation.
u noe what i need most? i need to go sparring and inflict pain and sauffer pain. bring me back to earth. this aint rili sean lee speaking . hell, i think its like some eccentric side of me.stress?pain is the one that makes u stronger. if it doesnt kill u it makes u stronger.gotta build up.need to take out my temper on SOMETHING!!!ARGH!!!
freak man. my sbj got a freakin D.standing broad jump.freaking 225. u see?one cm away from C.but chan chee wei dont want to overlook.no he doesnt.so now i m condemned to a bloody silver.i m damn pissed off. i m worse thean any pms bitch now man.
escorted @ 3:14 PM;
Saturday, April 16
another poem i found
yeah i got this from joanna's friendster profile. kinda cool so yeah. here goes:
Have you heard the cry in my heart,
that's wanting so much of you.
Have you ever seen my darkest side,
which you might never would.
Have you taste the sweetness of my love,
or never bothered to.
Have you spared a second to think of me,
I guess you never did.
Have you guessed it right that I LOVE YOU,
from all the things I've done for you...
How much do I mean to you,
dont lie but please tell me the truth.
The lonely days without you,
the quiet nights cannot survive.
I've carried on my life for you,
the flame of light that burns so bright.
This love seemed to be fading,
after some time of hesitating.
I want a brand new touch of love,
like a child that never wants to be hurt.
Revive this fire once again,
and bring in back to the explosion state.
I want you,I need you,I love you...
-
What I really need,
is for you to hold me close.
I need some warmth,
to feel safe and belonged.
The feeling of security,
has faded into the moon-light.
What is left,
is loneliness and fears.
I just need a tight hug from you,
one that's from the heart.
I don't want empty words like "I love You",
cos I'll never be able to know if it's sincere,
although I trust in you.
A hug is close to the heart,
with incentives of hearing your heartbeat.
The warmth and secure is present too,
isn't that the best?
escorted @ 4:28 PM;
the big loss
ho yeah...we lost.
lemme tell u the tale man. thursday wuz feeling super sian. then farlow wuz giving me hypnosis treatment. hes an art teacher and his lectures were rather sleep inducing. so yeah....not worth keeping awake for.then las period wuz free. so me and rui xiang decided to do "something" yeah. i scared later pepople know what i did man..haha.lets juz say we were playing this game and that the first person to reach 3 points wins. and of course he won.sheez man. i need to train harder.heheh. people wan know? err...juz ask me and also shdut ur mouth. dont be like nicholas chee bai. go and regale it ot ncc air....then after that.ruix, yiyang, shreya, dimitri, zhong yuan and me went to holland v. yeah.took cab to pa.great weather.game start. saints won.we cheered lousy. like shit man. i tell u. it wuz emotional experience...prefects were frontline cheerers. the good scouts and boy brigade cheered nicely. and also my sec 3 squad. yea.the rest? jia bao bui.nabei. u dunno how angry i wuz. people were PLAYING around.talking cock listening to music somemore.man there is a good reason why i not in council cos the amount of power i have can go cause the student body pain....damn pissing off.saint won duh.two penalties. cant say its taiko la.its juz...that our ruggers didnt get a chance to score. yeah. this is the only time that i can see our ruggers cry man.really.thy were crying.how would u like it when u realised that u failed to bring ur school glory SECOND time?yeah i keeping my tie shahir. me and le chern already had that bad foreboding feeling. then our ruggers kept DROPPING the ball.hey its the odds man.they tried their best. they fought the fight. they are still champs. come on man. we cant blame them. it wuz a good try. the onli thing that can be improved is the STUPID STUDENT BODY HU REFUSE TO CHEER. i wan to hit them man. yeah. then my brother left without the match ending.damn what la. without me too. then i thought wanted to go home. then he told me he eating dinner. walaneh. yeah.went to eat dinner with sa people.from me church. i gonna get branded by those dull loyal people of acs. yeah.learnt alota bad stuff bout my brother that i shouldnt know about.haha.then went home by 26 with ray and marian. dropped off at eunos. they went straight to bedok.then had to rush iso plus polish boots and badges and pack bag.nabei slept damn late la
friday- everybody felt out i didnt even feel like sean lee. early in the morning i juz snapped alota ppl. like kao bei at everysingle small thing la.and i felt sick man.bloody venu rao say dont sleep. freak man. damn tired still have to listen to his bull shit and
vectors( say with indian accent) wanted to die already la.walaoeh.ting xia not good cos i half study half talk half distracted.crap man.everybody felt down la.have to admit it. then i kao bei bronson....hes full of crap la. i played the fool with my squad. he told me get serious with them. i did. u dunno how many pushups tey did ok?then i told bronson" i m in a bad mood. u wanted this training. i give it to u.u wan full u i give it to u. but u cannot expect me to go and train them normally today. " then he juz gimme that i dun need this kind of attitude from u thing.frig man.the day wuz long. man i felt sick. really sick.i wantedto juz go home and sleep. but no...muz hav training. and attitude some more.it wuz a bad day....onli good thing wuz that we attempted to strip bronson.5 times. all the time he make some noise bout some imaginery damage to his uniform.
yeah.today is the las episode of gundam seed. dramatic showdown.ok ending la.juz touching also.haha.epic anime ofthe year man.haha.
oh man i still feel damn off la. like no engine fire.no vroom vroom. juz feel letlhlargic. not gonna touch the com again until after exams. so no weekend postings la.haha
escorted @ 3:52 PM;
bleahx
weird title for a posting.its jus that i have alota nonsense to write...ok we start from wednesday
nothing much happened la. onli that mathias drew some tattoo on my hand with permanent marker. its that cross with a circle on it. looked kinda cool unti u know what it symbolises. yeah. its the sign of mamon,the son of the devil.in other words it wuz a satanic symbol. i washed it off immediately. then went with qian,john, justin, kahchee,tim,chris,dachi and others i cannot rmb...yeah.da pao lunch and rush there. russell wuz there also.so good right. and shaun chan.then over there.had to settle the students down. then i wanted to be sadistic so i took the loud hailer and started doing it la.then nobody took my seriously. so i m the type don't listen to me u will get bitching from me.so i started yelling at them. then russsell told me not to sound rude.ok. so i started going the polite way again. then sih teck hock did all the rough words. man, why cant i use that too? then russell told me that cheering com supposesd to do it.i wuz like ok..didnt know.then after all that had to move them into shade. another challenging task. i wanted to hit isaac man. wth? say he doesn know me. see? thats the problem with being senior prefect. u have little power to control the students. i wanted to hit him la. denying that he knows me. i'll whup ur ass man....then cos of the rain....freaking thing got postponed. nabei
escorted @ 3:43 PM;
Tuesday, April 12
poems from cresco
heres some poems that i found from cresco.
trials by russell joel indran of class 4.5 david 2004
trials come and go every season
but take heart-there is a reason
for the Lord who reigns up above
will always chasten with love
through each passing storm
should we be forsaken, lost or torn
Jesus Himself has said "be of good cheer"
sdo don't be overcome by fear
righteous though we think we are
we have hardly come thus far
humble us, o Lord we pray
make us a servant for You today
rekindle our first love for You
for our days on earth are few
revive, revitalise, remake our soul
to glorify You with passion, not cold
in all we do and say
may we show forth Christ in every way
learn the Fruit of the Spirit
manifest it in your life every minute
"I AM that I AM" sayeth the Lord
yet many deny that He is God
spread the Gospel, do your part
for the lost ones u must have a heart
amazing love, amazing grace
o how i desire to see His face
surely you can sacrifice and suffer pain
for the Saviour who died in shame?
ACS- a christian school
all we do though it may be cool
could possibly be against God's will
so live- with eternity in view
love the Lord with all ur might
for this sinful world, be a light
shine like stars in the universe
this world is getting nowhere but worse
love one another with sincerity
flee from all depravity
be a blessing to others
and admonish them as brothers
seek ye the Lord while He may be found
lest u find ruselves very far underground
Heaven is a wonderful place
but first, u must be saved
so now we can see
trials ares as bad as they seem to be
they make us depend on God alone
only He can bring us to our eternal Home.
man, the good ones over, check out the stale one that i bet i can beat with anyone of my blog poems...here goes
fallen by kenneth lui 4.15(2005)
if u think that im the same as the others
that im gonna let u down
or hurt u like they did
and make u cry
and feel confused
just like they did
ure wrong
im different
i'll be the one who cries
the one with the blame
cause u're the one
and i know it
so i'll wait
and wait
and wait
until you finally give me a chance
with you
no matter what happens
however hard it may seem
u know
and i know
i will never fall
for i have fallen
at this point of time
only for u...
sheez, i bet he wuz in love with terese that time before they pak tor. oh well they onli gottogether this year 16 jan...haha.blessings in ur love...blah blah blah
tomoro rugby finals sia.damn sian.oh well if we lose, i think we can jus dissolve b div forever la.haha.i promise to give shahir rahman my prefect tie if they win the finals...at the end of the year.haha.not very motivating right?
escorted @ 3:15 PM;
hope is not a real thing
man i feel like i m a hope destroyer now. i believe that hope is juz a buncha false feelings put together for something to happen. to a certain extent ya it is....bio ia. i did it outa nothing and handed it in on time cant say good wuality for it but i STILL handed it on time.but damnm so many ppl couldnt., so i open my itchy mouth and said its unfair and that discipline level must be up cos they keep hoping that paul will extend the deadline.so yeah. gpot into a huge amounbrt of shite.bad bad bad.and th stupid bio remedial wuz horrible. more than a period time length. like one hour plus. and i wuz super tired. shite man. rili shite. and paul asked me alota question i didnt noe...ARGH. rui xiang wuz like pissed off with me cos i wanted the dealine to be that day.
ah haiz. talk bout beta stuff. skipped chapel. went for some follow up on REW. with loh chin ee. all cos i ticked a box. not supposed to tick any boxes at all but i wreote i m a christian and would like to know more about the ministry.and ho...therte i wuz with kangdi and co....alex, zhiwen came also to extra. i bet joel and chris were there to skip chapel. man, alex lied that hew wuz christian la somemore say he attenede church. zhi wen came good la. bout time he reformed and be changed in Christ yeah.
hope.i rmb something when i talk bout this word. i rmb my brother wuz lamenting one boring aftyernnon that the person he sms-ing is not replying.then my mum kindly told him thjat the person could be busy? but i knew better la. obviously its a gal or he wun be so anxious.trust em even if its something bout school work he wouldnt care. but if its a gal, hes anxious.haha.cvant blame.hes a normal living guy.man the real reason why she wun reply u is cos she cant be bothered to. u in her heart aint worth much. probably a friend with lotsa distance between the two of u. and if there are funky stuff like parent confiscate the hp or blah blah, u noe that if she doesnt like u, she wouldnt bother to fight at all.so... thats why she doesnt reply...hgello? knock knock..i can do this as iso and get a fail for being super biased with the topic.wadeva man.
ho yeah, my 2.4 passed with a timing( might be quite lousy to some people la. i not so fit la) 11.20 plus minus.haiz. its a c. shuttle run got 10.33.c also. sit up got 54. a obviously.pullups couldnt ge a YET..i gonna re do the pullups. las recvord wuz six and i juz decided not to do anymore cos i felt that chan chee wei not counting. then subsequent wuz like too tired liao.nabei. i gonna get 9 and beat zhi wen man.muz haha. still left sbj and sit and reach.should be ok la....despite sleeping so little on sunday night, i still managed to run sia.haha. wuz playing a game of who sleeps later with someone.oh well she won....
cofirmed fact: sleeping late will cause u to have suicidal thoughts....try not to do so often. u will get depressed.
escorted @ 2:59 PM;
Saturday, April 9
the poem
"Love at First Sight" by Wislawa Szymborska
THEY'RE BOTH CONVINCED
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still
Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways—
perhaps they've passed each other a million times?
I want to ask them
if they don't remember—
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember
They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.
Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.
There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?
There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.
Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.
this is the onee that i talkingbout from turn left turn right....nice poem man
we met by fate
it plays tricks on us
or is it just me?
thinking of u
day and night
hoping u r too my life's never bright
living in darkness
hoping to see u here
close by my side
to light up my life
thinking of u
my heart yearns
to see a change
but no
it stopped
i all stopped
i realized it's all a fantasy
i try not to think of u
do u know u r the one?
u r the one i think of
fate will decide
when we'll meet again
how long later will the fantasy happen?
when things go wrong
i have to be strong
not going to wallow in self pity
im going to be strong
found this from lynette's blog..nice pinkish eh?
escorted @ 4:33 PM;
priorities
yes.its another posting about God.probably my view again....
ok i dun see myself becoming a pastor.yeah so this posting is kinda inspired by glen so i gonna keep it short or try in order for him to read it and also for the benefit of other ppl who keep saying my postings are long...
ok,priorities in life.isit bout grades? accomplishments? sports? competition?dun u realise these all are earth bound possesions. do u stand a better chance to get into heaven by being a lawyer or a doctor compared to a poor man who spends his whole life dedicated to God?its all the same.when we go, we go as a human.not as dr lee or pastor tan....not to be a bad influence to people to don't study( frankly i don't see myself studying sia) but if u happen to miss church juz to study. and u say u glorifying God with ur results..u are absolutely wrong. imagine this....a parent loves his child so much.and probably onli asks to have his love back.the child is free to do anything he wants.and the the child wants to be big.the parents doesnt think it is wrong.juz that the child says" i m kinda too busy for u.no time to spend time.sorry.but i gonna make yer proud of me"the parent doesnt want ur accomplishment.he wans ur love.unwavering belief. not ur titles that u hold.or wins.or good results.or enormous amounts of $$.people are always misguided that money used in good purposes is a good deed in Jesus name. but err..its abit far fetched isnt it. i mentioned before, money in itself isnt worth much.its nothing.what u can do is help these in need urself.not by giving money.pls man.its like throwing rubbish to feed the stray animals.even that its called helping.not money.i think $$ should juz be scraped.man's greed has turned him from God.in greed we don't see that money is actualli not anything.juz a piece of paper with nice patterns,faces and figures.and the biggest thing is even christian bookshops use this.there something wrong with the world yo? we can actualli live life without $$.i mean, if we are not wanting.not greedy not disatisfied with what we have.we can.but we are humans.much as i would say this but i still want my hp.and a couple more new thing.a true true true christian would live his life like adam.up to the point of the fruit.jesus doesnt care bout money too....he didnt.he made things work.he proved that life can be lived without not bloody money or grades or accomplishments.he wuznt declard some famous wise man.he didnt hold some phD.he wuz juz jesus man.the man on the street.i tell u what u should be craving for.eternal life.the heavely rewards.u should concentrate more on the after life.i hope u all understand.
next, the end of the world is coming.the earthquakes are sounding.judgement will be on us soon.i will probably be going to hell for the things i have done.i have failed to spread God's word.put thing above God like pleasing parents?i do believe but i m of doublemind.i cant help my friends much. i fail to evangelise somemore ppl.
if i use such a threat to ppl, they will be gonig to christ for THEMSELVES to go to heaven.i rmb in constantine, gabriel said"to go into the kingdom, u muz be self sacrificing"give urself.if u do kind deeds to redeem urself into heaven as what constantine did,i have to tell u, u gonig the wrong way and of course the devil will try to fool u into thinking that.his gates of hell are wlecoming u if u think that way. its neva bout urself.its bout God and others.dun think of getting urself into heaven.itsjuz plain wrong to think that. think of getting others into heaven.lives for others with nothing for urself.enrich urself spiritually and u can spread God's word.so watcha waiting for?
escorted @ 3:28 PM;
now its five strings
yeah...now the count is five strings
two repeated ones(2x2 if u kinda cant count)
1 old one
then i juz gave up man.told dad to bring it to the shop to tune it for me.then the nice salesman told me i overtuned it.wth man.i followed the wonderful pitch pipe lor.and he says i tuned it wrongly.tamade
then yesterday, wuz super what la.hahahad npcc.bronson wanted to be some pa jiao and train the whole unit.means threes and twos.yeah..the trng wuz damn boring.cos its all drill.man i have fun with my cadets he doesnt.hes too systematic.refuses to see the curves.point a and point b has onli a straight line.not curves.damn boring sia.lucky david wuz away on cs competition.so if he interfere...i gonna separate my squad away and train them myself.cant stand him sia.then had rehearsal AGAIN.blah blah blah.end.bronson command super soft la.and he lets out breath when he command so when there is sedia ther is a "H" sound at the end....wasting explosive air.supposed to explode all of it out.not let it go to wste as ewxpired air....wadeva man after that, went on to stay back.slack a lil bit.then i have to report on two small children.one medium sized one small.horrible man.exactly like children.they caused me to miss five minutes to smallville.yes i think i missed the las episode las season so kinda hard to catch up. bloody hell they whole day fighting sia.stupid.kangdi and jon wong.i gonna make mince meat outa ya both. no use protesting.bloody hell for NOTHING go and fight.juz plain old children fightingeach other and chase up and down.i hit u u hit me.fight fight fight.terrible sia....
escorted @ 2:59 PM;
Wednesday, April 6
the world discriminates agst left handers
walaneh...yesterday, went bras basar complex with kangdi.yeah its his birthday.he wanted to buy drum sticks.since he ask me and like its his birthday, so i decided to forgo the decision to go farrer park la. walao.somehow God was asking me to go there lor.then the best wuz kangdi showing me the daily bread about trtusting God. and i wuz like telling him yo God telling me to go support the saint. don't ask me whyh. its God man...then at bras basah, we went to the musiuc store...bloody nuts man. one left handed electric guit cost like thousand for a gd brand and 400 for decent brand...walaneh.then kang di wuz like convert to right hand la. then i wuz like NEVER..haha then i went to buy cyndi wang's cd..then decided to go farrer park.then suddenly the rain got bigger.tamade.then juz when i gonna go there, match over liao.obviously i know thesaints won..haha..las night felt damn bo liao..got some weird idea.i restrung my guitar to left handed style.juz pluck out the seed and the take out thestrings. tkae out the white platform invert it and restriung back.ther u hav it my left handed guitar.cheap man.then while i wuz winding in the third last string.then bronson called me la.then i wanted to wind it before i ans then i wind too fast and it snapped and then cut my back of the hand.oooh.nothing much la.juz some blood loss.then i wuz like didnt listen to what bronson said la.oops
walao.as usual, wednesdays are horrible. slep during physics. kenneth seah didnt care anyway.yiyang wuz also sleeping. haiz this morning, i wuz one of those lucky seniors kana complained by teachers. i beta not find out who it wuz man...otherwise ah...haha..man i beta reform myself la.i been acting so what la.its like i m deteriorating..my attitude.beter reform sia.i think i gonna get suspended soon man...haha.quite sad la.beta stop being so gangster like man.it aint my home.
stupid alvin tan. wanted to shout back at him yesterday..called uninterlectual.and morons. i wanted to take revenge on him.but then kinda childish to shout to uneducated teachers hu dunno that bigger morons are those that teach morons.dun wanna lose my badge over some unworthy cause like him...so yeah. no la. not as if i gonna sacrifice my badge for that la.wadeva man..haha.
still i wonder hu it wuz man...hm..can onli be one of my science teachers or npcc teachers..muz be onbe of them la
escorted @ 2:56 PM;
Monday, April 4
praise God!
yeah praise God man...heres the things that happened
friday...had np trng after school.heavy pumping session for my cadets.cos getting too slack on em already.need to pull the rope on their necks to wake em up or rather make em realise the reality that they gonna take over in aug? thne had clashes with ncdcc cos they were juz so gay and the nco is so nice to make fun of.liuke juz whack him left right centre and have one deep dark secret of his that is used agst him...then had np day rehearsal.man, bronson sucked as parade commander...couldnt hear no nuts from him.then i m the squad commander.the freaking guy all the way in front of the whole contingent.ARGH...hope the berhenti job goes to kenneth lui.not me.
oh yeah before that all happened. thursday: went to beach road with nat and jon wong and jd to buy np stuff.oh yeah plus leonard.they not exactly np la. but juz companions with me to go.,then i tried to be funny and bought si rank and staff sergeant rank for fun.then bought best unit cadet and spf badge.haha..for april fools joke la.but didnt go into plan.shite.
after the trng. i told bronson and kenneth lui bout revelations and armagedeon(hope i spelled it right) then i wuz kinda condemned by lui.said he not too sure that i gonna go heaven.then bronosn also.ok how am i gonna spread God's word with such an attitude person? so bronson told me rededicate ur life to jesus.ok i wuz like havent i already done that?then God works in mysterious ways man.that time i wuz feeling down bout my dad and then an idea formed in my head to ask Glen when his church youth service.suddenly like that u know.then confirmed with him to go lor.
saturday.packed everything. go promos.polished me boots till super shiny.then poor zi gui couldnt get his right. so i did one boot for him. then it looked like one shiny one not shiny.guess which one i did for him la.haha.then drill.can still safely say my drill is still the besrt in the WHOLE squad.yeah i also sinned against God by swearing in all kinds of horible dialects.cos kana sabo by geps. by right our slackers united should get staff but then cos of the lousy overall drill standard, we are on probation.then the best wuz when david ang started comanding..my gdness.he didnt know sizing drill and then he go and try. so half way he go and get stucxk lor. stupid right? then when i point out his wrongs, he say i wan him to fail.hey man, true some part wants him(forgive me God) to fail. but then i didnt intend on saboing him that morning la.then bunny also commanded like shite.not fit to be i/cs la.the leadership potential is like onli so little.underdog stories.oh wellz.they aint the worsty.the worst are those we dun even care about.those that think theyt canb strike it there at staff sgt juz cos they passed sgt.then i realised that i wasting my time being commanded by ppl hu dun even bother knowing and expecvt to pass.even leow commanded better than thenm.wuz super pissed.nearly wanted to juz skip the service man.,but i told mysdelf.prioritise.dun go home juz cos of some stupid ppl.
ok.then ate lunch.went to potong pasir.had some stomach cramp and then wuz searching for otilet so walked out of the station.then while wlakin out recognised him lor.tyhen walked to sav..hoohoo.did i m ention? GREAT drill grounds man.iup then down then up again..then down some more.nonstope without keblakang pusing.HAHAi m sadistic man.ok then went there.
GOOD THING here: i didnt get killed.i said my school name.and they didnt kill me.haha.ok. nigel is SOOOOO TALL!!!hes like a walking giant wityh mucles?haha.and andrew juz looked like bigger than russell ang. and thats rili big. he super pro at the drums sia.then a bit of worship.then the sermons came.or reather a skeleton of it first. the lady speaker like neva done a topic on it before. like unsure.but then daniel wuz continuing on... then he mentioned one show that i had watche the las night. the twilight zone. yeah i m attracted to that kind of stuff. bout the dad and all? i thought its like God talking to me la. like" appreciate ur dad or u may lose him forever" haha.no wonder...veri toucing la.but if he wanted to talk bout fairness, he shoulda mentioned the other story.bout how the man managed to escape from murder.although he rili did it.and he couldnt be executed and in the end he died cos of a fallen angel stone statue. thats fair of life ok? i think fairness in life is meant to make us grow strong.from what i understand, but dachi thinks its hardening ur hear. ARGH.how is that so? *Scratch head* then after that wuyz captains ball...shite i wuz playing like some bloody water polo plyer/ vollerball player.... eat dinner. then mr lignesh pissed me off like real bad.always lying to me sia. and he kept touching my drill cane..i tell u sia. i felt tired.and sian and couldnt hold such childish antics.like its juz plain childish la.and he looked like luke vijay.and i dunb rili like luke cos of his eccentric ways.but i still sucked it up cos its my first time.beta forgive.haha
nigel's like very brotherly.and andrew don';t even look 15 man.
yesterday, i watched turn left turn right....so touching...two drops of tears la....like the two ppl juz kept being inthe same place but juz cannot see each other. until they got the number of the ppl that liked em which actualli each other number la. then when takeshi called her, ann earthwquake happenedand the wall wuz collapsed and they saw each other. haha so nice. i wan to watch again!!
and there wuz this super nice polish poem lor.but i cant rmb the words. juz super nice. and takeshi wuz talking bout two ppl meeting having feeling thats yuan fen. but two ppl mei you yuan fen jiu suan jian mian ji bai ci ye bu suan yuan fen. if one likes one and the other wans to run away. that not yuan fen, thas pain....haha cool concept
then after that, seeked dad's forgiveness.yeah. talked till like 12?oh yeah. but i m forgiven., now heres the plan...
'need to mug nonstop for mid year comon tests..likestop going out so late....yeah i sdecided to settle down with one church: coa is my place..i can fel it though there is the gap that i feel between me and em.feels like eunos tkd. on the surface they accept but inside they don't really.yeah. hope its not like tha la. after my comon test, i will go churhc. meanwhile i will try evangelise ppl.my brother my dad. haha.sounuds kinda hard. and venu rao....haha.that one juz kiding la.haiz time to go ciao..
escorted @ 3:02 PM;
