Saturday, May 28
a meaningless existence
yeah...ITS A BLOODY MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE IN CHANNEL U...omg. i bet even being a banquet boy is better than the shit i go thru...its like super sad la. i m like some kind of office boy. thats so not me man.i have to be so meek. and the camera man said i wuz shy.trust me. if ihad been myself. i would have got myself sacked.i would show bad attitude to the shitthat u give me to key in titles.i hate that task man.second cutting newspapers is like crap la. the people are nice. but they dunno that this kind of job is not for acs boys.acs boys blood flow vigorously. they dont wanna juz do mundane tasks like that.ARGHGHGG...and they smoke. man dont they know that smoking is bad for health.ok not that i would blame my boss. they are nice ppl. but they give me stuff like keying in promo packages to the computer.sort it according to alphabetical order.then PACK it in.have to find this and that.ARGH....and when they said have some fun outside forthe photoshoot for the quarterfinalists for project superstar.it aint fun. its rather boring la.yesyes. i saw plenty of future stars.they are quite nice ppl.but down there like do nothing.juz STONE.and i saw adrian pang nad irene ang. ok i not in this job willingly ok? its like my last choice. and i actualli got it. man, whoever put me there, is sure gonna pay or something.ARGHHHH.
next bad, ivan cheng...wth man.driving salt into my wounds.wth..."hui shi jie hui shi jie" keep saying how good the job is. yeah i know i lost the interview. no need to drive salt into the wounds ok?!dont need u to remind me.like ivan chengREAD THIS.-------> u gay fag,friendship is like some kind of glass.u are treading on a very thin stuff.so like ya, i understand u are selfish an all gonig home urself and alsowaiting half an hour for me would sound unheard of.oh did i mention u one helluva bloody feminine boy?wth man. shut up la boy.
haiz, i hate this job. oh man john, can i screw up this slot.and enjoy my hols?walao....
board shirts not here....its been a whole semester. we gonna wear some gay ol las yr shirt. i bet we would be the onli board that wears las yrs shirt.COUNCIL.wo men ya wo men de board shirt!!!
yesterday, dunno what came over me, could play the guitar plucking part of those songs.like pluck some kind of one note one note background.then today lost it....hahasomething wrong sia...
escorted @ 10:26 AM;
Monday, May 23
temptation
yesterday, i watched some love show on ch u...ekin cheng and karena lam. not very relevent.but its quite touching. gal meets guy.guy dies.before guy die, talk bout some landscape. paint it out.then gal finds it.go china to find.meet postman.find place tgether.found place.jus in different time onli.moved on in life.falls in love with postman. and the cartoon ending wuz quite nice..i liked it.
then...came the ghost show.the jap one(as u can see, its rather a boring night and we have to resort to watch all these nonsense)about some guy who marries a woman for her DIVINE POT.then he cheat on her.typical? take her money.and left with kai ga po.wife curses him before commiting suicide.ghost kills kai ga po.haunts day and night around him. priest finds him.gives him a solution to the problem.stay in a shrine full of talismans for 49 days. dont step out.or youre screwed. so everynight, the ghost schemes to make him come out.if i were him i would know that its the ghost trying to make me come out. if anything comes and kachiao me, i would just point the finger and say "screw off bitch, u aint getting moi outa here. i m atsying right here!" then i'll stick mytongue out at her.and wth he go so close to the damn windows and doors for?shes like disturbing all the areas there lor.like seeing her face is so nice like that.all taht decaying flesh.*shdders*ah but the las night.bo bian. she go and bluff him. make im believe the night wuz over. hwa that one wan to see thru also cannot on sia.sneaky lady.then he died obviously.and became a spirit of the divine pot.
and now...STAR WARS episode 3:REVENG OF THE SITH..mua haha.we got some crappy seats.like fourth from front and we were late.firstly, before all tat, my dad couldnt find cine.and he kept asking me this and that.frankly telling u. i didnt know much too. cos i havent been exploring that area for quite a long time.onli know its somewhere near somerset mrt.yeahthen took a nice hike from borders to cine.
now to star wars....oooh. the biggest loser is anakin skywalker/darth vadar. go to the dark side to save his zha bo.then in the end neva save.then to add on to his fake hand. u have got a cut arm, and both legs. not to mention burns.and a heart full of hatred. u see much as we like his notion of love to save his beloved's life. in the end she still died.and there is no Force power that can give life.definitely not from the dark side.the dark side onli wanna destroy life. not create. dumb ass anakin.kana sucker.hwa.but darth sidious damn smart.he can play on both sides of the war.then eliminate one side totally.mke an empire from the republic. bet noone knew that.he and his order 66.to destroy all jedi. damn smart sia. to play politics.must be like him.everything wuz in his control.and hes one helluva powerful sith lord la.one shot kill 3 jedi.and they are council members.mace windu the cool man with purple light sabre DIED.argh...the black man died. how can?hes much cooler thatn the small green man or the bearded.all cos of anakin. its super sad that he turned to the dark side la.ooh. but the light sabre fight wuz cool.simultaneous battle. yoda and sidious.anakin and obi wan.general grievious wuz a waste of time man. wth?! four arms and light sabres.killed by two blasts to the heart. so pathetic.and of course.the wookies were cool. it ended with the separation of the babies.and obi wan is ben.count dooku died.murdered in a scissors cut of light sabres.ooh signature light sabre battles that involve anakin. hands get cut off.everytime...oooh.he thought he could jump and be safe from obi wan at the same time.unfortunately.hes wrong.no legs.one arms gone.burn.and the new darth vadar---first thing he asked bout wuz hows padme.everone wuz like !!! then he tried to walk. and then he went "noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"haha..and started breathing asthmatically.haha....
tomoro going to zhuo gong....ch u.argh.didnt get the 93.3 job...haha
escorted @ 5:07 PM;
Saturday, May 21
no church
bleahx. didnt go church.not cos i wuz busy.but cos i didnt wana lie. God Himself told me that in the form of reuben ong. he just said dont go church if u are lying.so i didnt.also cos when i wuz buying lunch for my dad, the wait wuz so long.i got super pissed off.weather didnt look good.so i decided to turn back home.everything about going out pissed me off.....yeah.then i wondered if God wuz telling me something....so eyah...
escorted @ 5:30 PM;
half a foot in hell
yeah...i feel like i already have half a foot in hell.yeah. i m a revengeful person.i dont even act like a christian.i m a judgemental person.sheez man.i lack compassion.or rather i dont see myself as a kind person or even having done things.have i done something to help ppl lately.no duh.yeah i dont feel sad for grace kwee when her mum passed away.yeah ok quite sad la.but er...to send her a card?naw...probably cos of what she did to me or something in sec 1.ooh.yesterday, me and reuben were wasting time.so took a 33 all the way from school to bedok.then took like more than 1 hour.wuz like at 8 plus?yeah.thank God my dad didnt make so much noise bout my results....then we stayed in bedok for like till 9?wadeva man.then the whole journey wuz like talking to reuben bout God and His plans.yeah.thats one of the biggest things that make me scratch my head.i always see something then ak God, what U want with me?what are Your plans?i m a lil human laden with sin...like i have half a foot in hell already so if i happen to like die or something i proobably be prepared to go DOWN THERE....yeah.this is probably the devil talking to me now.he whispers"you're going to hell man. God's kingdom aint got no place for u...yeah like how do u block out his voice eh?trying hard but er...still not trying hard enough.
talking too much and thinking to much.being a confused guy.my head is clouded and i cant really think straight.hmm.bronson's going for the 69th batch of CIs...i like the number so i tagged along...haha.i'm probably full of shit
escorted @ 10:47 AM;
i walk the darkness with no regrets
i walk the darkenss with no regrets, lousy grades and a taste for vengeance
grades.bascially i didnt fail anything. but i scraped thru evryone.andi couldnt decide when to go home today.i m growing more spastic.and hell,this sucks.
we had agm...basically, it wuz a rather boring experience( oops sorry council)but err....hey too many ppl sucking up to council and then open their BLOOdy mouth too much.i thought no problem with the SOP but then they must open their bloody big mouth and prolong the session. the departments were ok.but the feedback wuz crappy la.like wth?give feedback for the sake of it.
like i have plenty of negative feedback bout the juniors.esp the sec 2s.in a few words i dislike em.yeah.they kinda suck and disrespectful.esp to seniors.wads this man. i tell u if i start naming names, they're gonna die or something.and june act com wan to be funny and invite neighbourhood school.like ok?i m definitely gonna be a station master.i aint gonna like mic with a buncha fellows who are rowdy by nature.like insult u for lil things u CANT do.piss me off.yeah.probably gonna perform items.and thats it.kiss my ass man.
less and less ppl going for june act...
prefects.yesterday, i corrected a student after school. told him to pull up his socks and tuck in his shirt.he onli pull socks. then he daoed me for the shirt. then called me assshole.so i got muthu to go and scold him. and then he defend himself by saying that i wuz joking around.yeah ok.like i wuznt gigggling ok?wth man!i wuz dead serious bout taht la.and he said after school can tuck out shirt.like why dont u take off ur shirt.its beta right?wth man.
and kuan meng.wth man.3 demerits for pinching his nips.wth man.not me tho.just some ppl in class. and then chia bee teck sees that they are punished.and the punishment wuz too harsh.kuan meng kuan meng.u realised that things dont end just there u know?use ur head abit man.think hard.whats wrong with u?peace may reign.but or how long?i m betting less than a term.damn u man.
somethings wrong round here.ppl are rising up agst prefects.teachers are taking us as punching.its as if they dont wan us around."i sense a plot to destroy the prefects"i would say.the next anti prefect i see, hes gonna die.death marked by me.is that a threat?no.its very real.
my grades suck man
escorted @ 12:58 AM;
Wednesday, May 18
im bored im bored imbored
im bored.imbored.i m bored. blah blah blah...got NOTHING to do today.totally. got one day of hol and i aint making use of it cos why?i dunno also. juz stoning at home probably watch the hellsing vcds that kok siong lent me. yeah.....for another record.....freak y'all damn ib board in acsi.
STAR WARSsssss..watching it on friday hopefully.ay scouts pls end ur meeting fast enough. i'll do my best to screw bronson up for having np. not that i will be going for it cos of agm. make him dismiss early.muaha. then slack.watch evening show.hopefully i havent commited suicide then cos of my results.friday release of results. and frankly telling y'all. i dunno how to go home on monday; i 'll delay the breaking of bad nes bya weekend and then i dunno what to do.if its one thing i cant do that would be telling my dad i scored bad.and if i fail a subject. i migh as well not go back la.igonna get scolded upside down cos of no time.thn i gonna get an ear ful of shit....its like mostly the ib board's fault.u know the whole thing is screwingus up.one day these ppl will pay for not knowing how we feel?wth man.they just push and push and push. but worse is they bluff u at first to join. until u join then u realise its not so gd.and they have been lying. and chock scolds us for being honest. then what she wan?sweet comments. uaint getting that from me man.cos from what i see.the onli gd thing is no o levels and con camp. thats all.they make it sound so gd but its not.clay buddha is what we should describe it man.
not that i regret being in ib.but i regret them not puting in enough effort to care for what we feel.and then waste our time with the symposium.wadeva man.too angry to think anymore la.
i m rili scared for my papers.damn scared.i cant say its so lil % to my dad cos hes gonna say blah blah blah.hell, i m one helluva scared person.i know i scewed up my papers.but i couldnt help it hello? unfortunately some people just will neva understand.if marks tell a person how hard he works.then this world should be one based on degrees onli.there will be no pastors.no wadsoeva.in a world like that, i rather die than live a boring and dull life like that....peace out..
escorted @ 2:01 PM;
Tuesday, May 17
feeling stupid and er...dumb?
yeah.hell i m feeling stupid man. like i could have got more marks for my common test and i just couldnt think clearly.dammit.i gonna kick something la.everyone is like discussing the damn paper.and its demoralising to see almost every asingle question u do is incorrect.sheez, i m using english.oh yeah...physics got like i think 20 marks minused off liao.at least.ooh.a maths dont mention it la. core maths an pass but no gd.ARGH.and people still continue teaching.like u must have a mourning before u actualli move on in life?wth?still teach and have damned ihs lectures that do nothing to make u sleep.go away la.damned ib dept.onli believe in pushing us.we are onli human.the things we do are as limited to o level stream.we anit exactly some first gen gm humans u know?like stop pushing us?!i am at the cliff of desperation and i not gonna jump cos thats what the big FAT liars of the program want.dont make me kill y'all....wadeva man.
iso shring day kinda sucked big time la.wth.who the hell wana hear some fags talk bout their so called gd isos? esp that bloody dale.what insecticides.for al l iknow. u can go present it to the custodians for all i care.but dont waste my time la.and its like crap la.then theres the mcdonalds shit project.surprisinjgly, the kids central actor cant speak for nuts. what stage fright? go home and practse la.tamade.andafter that, went to watch movie AGAIN with lui.saw fane on the bus.bought the interpreter 5.25 show.stoned around.wanted to buy a black cross but then decided to give up cos kinda evil.then accidentally touched an upside down cross.kana electric shock on my finger.weird huh?met karkin and qian on the way and then the also bought the ticks.then watched.its better than KOH.so thrilling and has a twisted plot.unpredictable.slept for like fifteen minutes in the movie.damn nice sia.then ate dinner with kk and qian then kk fetched me home.
TODAY...discussed physics.realised got dman alota mistakes.yeah depressing.HCL...teacher said my zhuo wen gd ok?then she asked me if i had real life experience before.i wuz like !!!noduh.i just have a fertile imagination ok?
IHS wuz a TOTAL BORE.like my head wuz rolling from side to side.trying to keep him form thinking i wuz sleeping. but my mind blanked out la.he catch so many ppl.but not me. i wuz like right in front of him some more.oh man.i hate ihs lectures.esp after common test. and like i m damn pissed off liao la.
933 interviewd moi and ivan cheng and chor zhi yuan for iba.hell, my cheena speak until like shit sia. oh but i saw the 933 DJ!!!!haha.hopefuly can work there. damn glamour lor.haha...but i guessed not. feels like i gonna be the "you're fired" one.oh wellz....
ARGH. i cant go church camp.cos its OVERSEAS.need parents signature.if it wuz local, maybe can lie bout it.yeah.SAMUEL ANG...i lie to go church cos i cant go if i blatantly tell dad and mum bout it. so like i m doing a bad thing.to go church.yeah.ok sorry happy?
dammit. this friday seem to have a lota shit.agm ah.np ah. most imptly, STAR WARS....ARGH....
o yeah, i m the ONLI sec 4 going for cross road.wth man.PRAY HARD that i can have a day off from iba. AND the it will turn out right....
escorted @ 7:32 PM;
Sunday, May 15
blah blah blah
ok..lied that i wuz going bowling.go church instead.wuz held in canteen.not much of sermons but er...dunno la...then played games.haiyoz.that chasing game wuz kinda bad on me la. i chose the wrong punks.and i ALMOST tricked that lyndon kid. but too early come out from hiding.so er...bad la. then chose ray. haizyo.hell, i didnt know he could sprint. yeah got high on adrenaline lor yupz. then played captains ball.wa piang eh. firstly got small kids playing. had to be careful.then there wuz this cool guy totally owning us la.he wuz like lob lob lob!man i should ask him be a teacher in our school. how cool la.gd throw gd throw.lob lob. too high.too low. higher.haha.yeah.then after that.slack awhile then went to the youth room and went crazy with some people. singing jay chou songss.abit siao la.haha.happens.then andrew joined us.went eat dinner.and they playd some gay black magic nonsense.its rubbish la!just humans thoughts able to link on a higher plane that u cant perceive.but the link is there. and u say its black magic.lyndon.hahah.then waited for the usual ones to go home with. then ravi kept pestering me to tell me my sad story.wad nuts man.i wuz like !!!huh?hu told u bout my story man?not that i dont treat u as peng you but then its just that to dig up the past that should remain buried would be damaging to my mind.will probably make me weak and like not smart.yeah...so forgive me.and the person who told him.pls ah.dont continue with ur horrible rumours.....its the past.its not now..so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
escorted @ 6:57 PM;
Saturday, May 14
song
almost got hooked on oldies cos of reuben but chinese music neva dies...
"shuo yi" by sylvester sim
xiang dao le di yi ci jian dao ni
ni you yi zhong ji guai de mo li
wo gan jue dao wo zi ji tou tou xiang kao jing ni
xiang dao le di er ci jian dao ni
gan jue wo bing mei na me kai xin
ying wo fa xian zi ji he ni de ju li
zhe shi ai qing hai shi ni tai mei li
rang wo zhuo chu bu ke si yi de shi qing
wo zhi zhi dao we yao rang ni kai xin
wo shen me dou yuan yi
zhi yao neng gou kao jing ni
xchorusx
wo zhi hao be wo xiang shuo de hua dou fang zhai xin li
ying wei wo...xiang yao ni kai xin
wo zhi dao we hui xin ku ye hui nan guo
dan wo shen me dou yuan yi
bu zhai hu kuang feng bao yu
bu guan ni zhai na li
wo zhi dao ni he ni de nan hai you duo me tian me
shuo yi wo cai qing qing shou zhe ni
mei yi ci kan ta jing jing la zhe ni shou
wo yan lei bu ting de liu
ye zhi hao momo cheng shou shen me dou mei shuo
jing jing ren zhu tong
great song.trying to learn the chords....yaya i suck at it la ok...like i onli juz sort of mastered hoobastank's the reason supporting guitar..
escorted @ 12:18 PM;
the battle wuz long but its over
YEAH...its over!but i scrwed up most of my papers.esp amaths and CORE maths.oh man.i can be a maths teacher and teach u maths and make u understand it.but not apply it ofr myself.that is my gift and my curse. accelerated learning ability i have man. i admit it shameless ly cos hell i can learn shit fast but not aply. i noe the foundation of the formulas but i not enough time!!!no time! if the test wuz 2 hours. i would finish it liao. but no its one half with all trhose hard questions.freak man.physics had to sacrifice a whole page of marks.not enough time. chem wuz quite ok la....i m a natural at chem. bio again study too much and then tested surface material.chiniese like neva study enough.ok sorry la. but my cheena compo wuz super cool la. i did the ji xu qwen...nobody dared to do it.but i DID...i probly gona get a bad grade. its bout u making some gal pregnant must write ur feelings bout the whole situation. how u feel regretful. and the consequences. not my prob but its sure better to write bout than the casino...i would get bad amrks writing some boring articlethat i dont like. but the chinese essay wuz damn long lor. like i wrote like 1000 chinese words u noe?then like used one hour writing halfway. then pause.wrote yingyong wen. then half hour later contnuie on zhuo wen. used up my full 2 hours. instead of finish within one hour and sleep. haha.study period wuz quite cool.studies in drama room then so comfy lor.studies with bae yong yuan( actualli chor zhi yuan but hes so muscular then he hads pics of bae yong jun or supposedly la) called him the brother of bae yong jun.haha.hes damn vulgar lor. everytihng also swear the f word. and in canotnese ...DIU LEI AH!!! yeah its bad man. hes crazy and muscular sia...
and then theres poh yi...lil rodent. neva really liked him.damn irritating. hes damn scary for a small kid. and he kept disturbing us. kept talking bout his gf. believe or not la. bloody kid has a gf.some kind of childhood nonsense. there. i m discriminating agst ppl who havent zhng da...sorry. then we were like p[oh yi we dsont wana know what u do ith ur gal.we need to study. altho its juz young innoncent love.his voice irritated me la. i wanted to throw him out.can do but then he complain i get screwed. then i say" beta u study or we will do something bad to ur gal" then he so dignified still" ay she can fight ok?" then i wuz like ya so can i....then somemore try to impres me she learn taekwondo..yaya...i TEACH taerkwondo....squirt boy. piss off man..haha.then he and ben chan always fighting.so one day we kicked him out. poh yi i mean. ben chan is how nice compared to him la....
yeah. after exams or common tests.slack in school.forced to. then 1 o clock had to stay back anotherhour for the stupid harvard shit....screw off man. i dont wanna go some stupid gay class. and they worry no enough places. with a four figure cost i think they should worry bout getting ppl to even go for it...mua haha..then after that. waited dman long for 14. go cine.watched kingdom of heaven. alex got his gf..abit extra lor...then best wuz eggy go and ask him. so embarrasing. no finnesse.i wuz like shut up la...wal lao...people wan to spend time with BOTH frends and gf and then u go ka chiao him...damn childish sia...ok sorry eggy.KOH sucks..nearly fell asleep....then bought jolin cd and BOA...haha.turning korean?
yeah.i guess that nice electric fenders left handed guitar is a bbit FAR AWAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cos my grades arent gonna mek it. andm y dear 6230i.thats not mine.....can onli look at it fromthe glass csing in the hp shop....
crap too much liao.thank God for reuben for being so dedicated to opening up drama room for us to study altho his test finish TWO days earlier than us...yeahGod bless his sis too..some charmaine ong from kc bowling?dunno la. hes like damn protextive of his sis la.jordan saw her at orchard on thursady and then sms reuben, then hes like freak out. shes meeting some guy...or something.wadeva.reuben wuz like i beta go and ask her what's going on...haha...great brother...
ah eng prefect.thats me.john loh tell people whatsoever, i shout at them.cos they dont listen to john.wth man....no respect.must shout.to all prefct doubters...go learn hu r senior prefects first la..haha.ask any 4.11 guy to know whats going on.posting too long liao...if u actualli read this line. congrats. u have got great stamina...
escorted @ 10:52 AM;
Friday, May 6
last vestiges of my sanity
sheez.losing my ymself in studies sia. other schools so good can have exams dso early. onli today then lang arts.stupid sia. then study bio like going nuts liao lor.onli juz started on bloody nonsense.didnt noe which is tested which is not.damn what la.onli have green stout and taylor.heres an occasion where we praise God...search all ove singapore for greenstoutr and taylor and onli kinokuniya in orchard have. by that time it wuz quite late and like 9?stupid sia. then had dinner on saturday at dads old classmate house. they have some old gathering of their class la. then bring children mah. thought it wuz gona be damn boring but then quite fun la. not that we going to look for gals la...yeah.had fun.came back quite late.sunday mug till i sian liao. need to rest alota times. juz felt no drive. like that how>? finished physics within 6 hours with slacking. chem within two days. cool right? bio gonna take like five days of my time.gotta mug for cheena over weekend and then study ewcology.hoo yeah.
getting violent nowadays.not that i aint la. but like yesterday, kangdi tried to palky funny with me la. kick my shoe away when i wuz er...having it of my feet. try to be funny and the onli thing that went in my head before i knew it wuz "hes gonna die" then like in rtrance, my hand juz went up using some palm technique i used on muthu's cupboard and then smacked him real hard....sheez.wel he dserves it la. i think i gonna like snap or something. and the damn test onli take up 6.5% of grades.thats bio. today npcc day...quite nervous sia.muz congratulate me on getting my "crab liao" staff sergeant man. and i tried to do this dumb joke by wearing spf badge. HO made me take it off la. bronson took all the first class home yesterday, deprive me of looking at my new drill class.punk.then somemore this morning power failure. all dark dark.how to pin badge?use rising sun light.crappy sia.ok las posting before end of exam. wish all those good luck...
hope i may be back and not some violent guy. need my code of honour back.john spoke to the whole class yesterday,looks like he had been through alot. super tireds den kan complain bout his own class.mus feel for him lor.
yeah ib gonna bring in a buncha gals.literally.thats what i heard.and they kinda not gonna give us the copmpetitive edge.so er..we gonn fail cos we gonna feel smart and then get cocky.bleahx.must hold to my word.dont get distracted
escorted @ 12:51 PM;
