new year RESOLUTIONS!!!

oh yeah.new year resolutions
NUMBER ONE-no liking of gals.TOTALLY.not even if know for like last 20 days of the year or something
NUMBER TWO-fire proof myself
NUMBER THREE-help improve the unit.kill the slackers.kick the asses of the stoners.be the NCO.crap.we're CIs.i'm gonna start bitching the mmt the new yr starts
NUMBER FOUR- student council!!! means more invests!! and more CONVENTIONS!!whoo hoo
NUMBER FIVE-new FRIENDS
NUMBER SIX-probably change the template of this blog.need some anime character
NUMBER SEVEN-MORE TKD!!!
NUMBER EIGHT- STUDY! SCORE!
NUMBER NINE- clock some KICKASS CASL HOURS
NUMBER TEN-MORE BREAK DANCING
NUMBER 11- upgrade guitar skills
NUMBER 12- read MORE of the bible instead of letting it collect dust
NUMBER 13- be a really good CSI/OGL
NUMBER 14-go church REUGLARLY
NUMBER 15-maybe kill GEPs?or make em feel suicidal.esp those ex-npcc ones
NUMBER 16-try to finish probation then become full fledged CI
NUMBER 17-more vcd shopping with reuben.haha.more nonsense!
NUMBER 18-get a new hair style or something
NUMBER 19-more RUNNING!
NUMBER 20-bring sparklers for later.bronson asked me to bring.so bring lor.heh.got like a whole lot here.dunno why he wanted.heh maybe to get wild later....
NUMBER 21-BITCH less.(thats hard.i'm always in a foul mood.i never say nice stuff or do i?)
NUMBER 22-FLAME MORE(people who try to be funny.i've got a new profile.heh.blogs better watch out)

NEW YEAR.NEW YEAR.NEW YEAR.i dun wanna go.HEY i want another 3 more weeks.
this posting is retarded.but oh well.

SOON, its gonna be a year from MY GREAT DEPRESSION.heh.we all know what happened last yr.at least i don't feel so miserable at this time.haha.hope the next yr doesnt suck so much money.hope theres less projects to tie us down.hope bio IA wont try kill us.i need the bloody grade man.somehow greenstout and taylor can't help.ARGH.why always must go internet to check on the biological makeup of lil ol plants.probably right up to the nano detail.
chem..hope we get good ones.instead of those that can't keep people interested.no shit man.same class as kuan meng."extension of deadlines" again.stupid fool.go.drop.dead.i pity the orientation group with him in it.

poor milton too.his other CSI is david ang.omg.adding on his orientation group is like so quiet and tht loser is probably gonna crack some lame shit ass jokes that no one will appreciate.wonder if the loser is gonna go j06 like that OTHER GEP LOSER from sea unit.pretty obvious huh?

he who believes that the GEP will benefit being integrated into our SOCIETY should go and die.the whole of 5.4 numbers should also go and die.except for our photographer friend zhong jie there.thank God we only have so few GEPs in 5.5.hey maybe i'll persecute em FIRST.
that bloody GEP supporter bunny should also go and die.with his RJ friends.play some pool and expect to be cool.i think i gonna see that moron try pick up the most number of gals and fail.boy that award is gonna go to him.the damage he did to our unit is really bad.i bet he used his power to try hitch gals.omg.i gotta correct not only MY mistakes.gotta correct HIS too.wth man.being some kinda super NCO liao.

oooh did i sound evil.sorry.just bitching.
one day i gonna hit my brother so hard that my father's gonna scold me for wasting money on hospital bills.oh yeah.the boy needs a lesson.if sa dont give it to him.or ncc dont give it to him.I WILL.bloody disrespectful piece of...

hmmm...i rmb a particular day.in sec 3. 7 aug 2004.bronson and i had just got nco powers.hey we had high visions for the unit.improvements.and blah blah.we had a meeting after that some more.before DRAMA NIGHT.haha.it was a saturday by the way.such high hopes and visions died after national camp.crap man.GEP is like shadow on our unit.dont try persuade me.i can never forget the way bunny played politics to get himself some glam position to get gals.in the end he go screw up his job.i tell u i will never forgive such a damage to our unit.never again should a voting be allowed in our unit to decide nco positions.david ang got the second highest position and then...bloody slack.then get SI.wth man.omg.he missed ATC and he dared to go for SSG.he didnt even know his sizing commands la.then he blame me for sabotaging his promo.i didnt have to man.and he still passed.i blame jasbir singh for being so slack.i blame the bloody GEP.i blame xing long that uselesss p/ci for a whole year.D'04.i nvr seen any CI any slacker.all these people led the unit to what it is now.

its gonna be a hard time trying to even raise it up.cos i slacked in my job.i'm not some stupid fool who will accept an explanation of "i am more suited to training sec 3s"i tell u before i took em.i hated em.all so pai kia.guai lan.and all.reall pissing off.bronson kept telling me to be strict.but i ask u how u do that?these jokers lack alota stuff.they are as bad as sec 1 cadets.heh.so next yr we're gonna do alota revamping.the attendance problem.i've got a really wonderful way of solving it.hehe.i've taken the examples of wan cheong and johan and daryl cos these three always running away.we were SLACKERS UNITED!hoho REVAMP alrite...i bet theres gonna be lotsa parents complaining about me once i'm done.pfft who cares?i dont plan to see immediate changes.but i plan to leave a legacy behind.that the unit can fly high again.heh
oh well,later is countdown.its gonna be the new year.we're gonna be 17.hey i've got 1.5 months left.round up.i WOULD be 17.means NS enlistment might be really fast for me.crap.

a quotation
"i dont plan to keep her with me,neither do i plan to stop her from being happy.for i know i cannot bring her happiness.the most i can do is make her smile"
couples and crushers and crushees, STOP THINKING SO MUCH!!!
its the new year.no bitching for one day.

i'm BORED!!!

i am so bored cooped up at home.but then i am lazy to go out. i spent the afternoon actually working on stuff that needs improvement in the unit.so when's our meeting with the new OC?ho.like there's lotsa areas that needs improvement.i realise that the previous two CIs haven't tried improving the unit alot la.ah crap.have to really push hard man.its a NEW YEAR.year of the DOG.i dunno what to do about the sec 4s man.they're stoned or something.unmotivated pieces of biological things.esp that tay kaijun.omg,he's a GEP.smartmouthed ass.not to mention that genius with an attitude malcolm.the "sick one" xinfu.malcolm comes from nanhua then transfer to our unit in sec 2.xinfu has been sufferring from some "illness"since sec 2.and these two hold leadership positions.crap man.i really dunno what to do about em.disrepectful.slackers.ARGH.
kenneth lui better make ur stand sia.i fired a warning shot at a certain individual.the one with the A1 songs.haha.got a new flaming profile.hey lets go flame that muthabitch michele qiu again.it sure was fun waging a bloody blog war on her.stupid sia.darned GEP talk so much.why dont they just go and die or something?like drop dead.save the world some misery if there isnt enuf terrorist and natural disasters and money problems with stress and more stress.ha!
3 more days to start of school.SOMEONE SCRAPE THAT GAY DANCE!
one thing i realise about people in love.they THINK TOO MUCH.omg.what's she thinking now?will he or she reject me?would he or she get together with so and so?would he still have feelings for her?blah blah blah
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
1 corinthians 13:4-8
so please ah...dont think so much.God created man not to think.but then man(or woman) ate from the tree of knowledge.so adds the spice to this simple thing called love.
sounds cliched but it should be more of wanting to see ur loved one be happy.yup that should be the attitude.no point forcing this and that.also no jealousies man.its the tool of the devil.he plays on ur jealousies to destroy a rls.love is also not about wanting a person to be with u.its more of wanting to be with him/her.if cannot then u can only want to see him/her smile.no point making urself unhappy.move on or make her happy.cruel world but it is a world.haha...we show different faces to different people.our true selves are always hidden away.sometimes we just wanna tell the world who we are.but circumstances and other obstacles stop us from doing so.hence we just be have differently in front of different people.we keep secrets.we harbour intentions and use foils to hide it well.in the end we contracdict ourselves.and nothing is done.we want people to know our intentions but yet dont want em to know all at the same time.so we come up with some screwed up image and then try to salvage it. at this point of time u would probably wana change all of it but then its too late.so u say "shit" or "damn"
i dunno what i am typing man.pfft.good luck to those marching/running for migration parade tomorrow.will be praying for fair weather and smooth progress for em tomorrow.darned they moving to the new place means its FURTHER AWAY. haiz.
squad outing tomorrow!happy new year in advance!

a date with bronson and the couple

ok today's campcraft was a waste of time and also irritating.cos the progress moves at really SLOW RATE.like tortoise.can someone just give them a kick on their asses to get em moving?i shan't say more
then lui,bronson and i went on a DATE! with wanyi.heheh.where else but west mall.those two like dunno what sia.always whispering stuff to each other.talking bad about bronson and me.pfft.i realised that there were people catching fish the same way as me(figure of speech..go think that one out urself)bleah.ate at the same place.got a lil quarrel there.the stupid ban mian there does NOT taste good man.its like so plain la.i ate it only TWO DAYS AGO!ah,then somemore say something wrong with me.wanyi somore say i got bad taste.tsktsktsk.wth man.then during lunch dunno doing WHAT SIA.if u thought their "performance" in the mess was bad enuf,u shoulda seen em at west mall.nearly vomit my lunch out.
wanyi coughs.kenneth gives her a hug(supposed to be a hemilich manouvre,but turned out wrong way).why she cough?cos they tried a couple antic of feeding each other food.trying to test the limits of how much u can feed a person.haha.bronson and i were like invisible to them.u cant help getting goosepimple.i guess thats what they mean by dian deng pao.
then we went window shopping.went popular first.looking for a book on anger management.and fire proof cover(u know why).lucky the fire doesnt spread to smses or i'll have to fire proof my hp liao.and looking for a present for muthu.i dunno why man.so we went to dunno what and stephanie.practised rifle drill with the toy rifles(pretty small and short ah)wanyi and lui kept pressing that stupid pig toy.yucks.ugh.ugh.ugh.ugh.bronson and i had to be witness to their disgusting antics.bronson suggested a t-back.somehow, the two of em didnt get it till we entered the linerie departmen,of course, following wanyi.it was like retarded la.three CIs with crest.with one WCI in plain clothes.
then the two of em pang seh-ed us.sort of.so bronson and i continued on our "date".took 61 to queensway shopping centre.went SHOPPING for shoes.then i discovered a fetish for red black and white shoes.or at leat black and white shoes.haha.specifically asics tn610.abit ex tho.156 bucks.but it looks so nice la.haiz.so we went shopping for like about 3 hours or something.oh man that shoe looks so good la.then home it was.
oh well on the bus we were talking about stuff for the unit.seems like we need to do alota work.i dunno if the previous two generations of CIs have actually been that motivated before.new stuff man.educational courses for the cadets.
k got the bloody LA books.school's gonna start in like 4 DAY?!a-construction site we'll go!
ok people who catch fish the same way like me.bloody copy cat man.
having two songs ringing in my head recently.both by savage garden.one is the famous "rap song" truly madly deeply.the other is i knew i loved u.if u dunno the first one shame on u( the way bronson said today during debrief to the sec 3s or 4s)cos its like a childhood thing.love song or not.its so nice a song that the radio probably still plays it.both english and chinese.haha.here are the lyrics.
the rap is the fast first part

"Truly Madly Deeply"

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah

[chorus:]
I want to stand with you on
a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining
brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the
comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

[chorus]

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right
before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do

[chorus]

I want to stand with you on a
mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

"I Knew I Loved You"

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

[chorus:]

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

[repeat chorus]

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

[repeat chorus to fade]

those who are talking bad about me,i know ah.thats why i sneeze.haha

a biatching post.Ha

= List down 3 people you talk to online, 4 people you see at school, 2 teachers, 3 people you love going out with, 3 people in your sms inbox.these are most recent stuff

1.Jia Hoong
2.Female Draco
3.Kenneth Lui

4.John
5.Yi Yang
6.Kangdi
7.Cheng Liang

8.Mr Joseph Wong
9.Mr Simon Bongard

10.Eggy
11.Cheng Liang again
12.Le Chern
13.Kenneth Lui again

14.Lynette
15.Female Draco(evil messages of fire)
16.Marian(almost none)

What do you think of 15?
has an evil temper with an evil language usage.a very angry or easily irritable
How would you feel if 4 slapped you?
he has bitch slapped me before.haha...i dun think he will realy go slap
How nice is 6?
erpz...nice?
On a scale of 1-10, rate how good looking 5 is.
oh man i gonna boost his ego again.8
Would you ever fall for 11?
i'm not GAY!!
If 8 got into an accident, what would you do?
pray for him...
What sport would you play with 12?
arm wrestling YEAH!which i'll most probably lose
What if 1 got a galfriend?
i'll bless him
Do you hate 9?
erpz no....
How much do you like 2?
tricky question we have here.theres not a moment of calm talk between us.always biting people off
Will 7 and 13 make a good couple?
for wanyi's sake.i 'll say no.cos they cant go gay
Will 14 kill you one day?
maybe man....if i piss her off enuf
Who do you like more, 3 or 10?
both equally.heh.one can crap with u about clefairy and the other about dragons.

crap man.back from orientation training and np training.
npcc first.k looks like they need the lady's help man.so bloody BOCHUP.omg.i nearly shouted at em la.but then yelling won't achieve anything.so i prefer talking.they DID NOTHING.and that bloody kaijun had the nerve to try and explain the case.someone gimme a gun i'll shoot his brains out man.smart mouth piece of shit.then the rest like so...DEAD.do nothing.attendance is like shit.i am so pissed!they don't bother at all.the in charge doesnt appear.steaming man.
then they left...orientation.can't reveal much.but,the mass dance is a piece of art.the people who choreographed the first part.understandable and forgivable.cos from gal dance.the second part.i wanna vomit blood.is more feminine than the first part.the choreographer should take a spade and dig himself a hole,lie in it.cover back the hole.stay there and DIE!rot or something.its GAY!the fact that it has obvious signs of masculinity shows a feeble attempt to prove manliness.omg.u want gals to do that?and the music sucks.i really have to say it man.go take that gay dance and cd.tie it to ur body with a hundred kg weight and chuck it down the ssea.a casket would be useful.dont let the world see it.ever.in short,i'm asking u and ur gay dance and cd to go and die.
sorry if i sounded mean.but idon't like being delayed from going home juz cos i gotta learn some DANCE steps which seem pretty much of a powerful art form.i strongly request a change of music.at least change the music.get a cool one.that music is not good.really not good.its just ARGH.WHERE'S THE HIP HOP?!
oh yeah,no need wear tie on first day of school.so dont try and be smart and wear uniform like sec 4.later prefect catch u for dunno what.haha.
not that i don't want help with NP.but we dont have expertise man.basket.the most we can do is teach em the general idea.i am so pissed with what kaijun said. since we will never win, we might as well just dont do.eat shit man.go.to.hell.then there are those with the foresight to think about the next one.instead of this one.i suppose they plan to be CIs then?wth man.seriously disgusted with such attitude.the mmt i let go of em, they run slack.wth man.they need some discipline.tomorrow.tomorrow.tomorrow.
shite.its school time so fast.69 gals coming in?! and also the building DONT LOOK READY!what are we gonna study in?construction site?
darned,maurice and johan left to join acjc.so pang seh-ed la.omg.how can sia?HOW CAN?!biatches.can't crap with em anymore in school.

lemons

today...has been a really ____ day.feels like it has no meaning.
in the morning,there was this campcraft meeting.attendance wuz like flat man.lui,bronson and i came down...its like really lack of discipline.haha.pathetic...our logistics can't make it.hey maybe someone can make a generous donation of manila hemp!oh i didnt realise we had pressure lamps.
needs work here.
then wanted to go out with bronson and lui.bronson had something on.so lui and i went to west mall.*gulps*
we ate there.talked bout lotsa stuff.man at west mall u can see lotsa people.i saw about 4 CITs...preetpal and clive and ann liang and one more guy i can't quite place his face on a name
then we went shopping.can't say for who or what la.lui told me a whole lot of stuff.k my blog has extra readership.people have been talking bad about me.then he wuz like suggesting buy this buy that for so and so.i wuz like "if she got it, she probably would burn it"yeah.so no taking of risks man.scary.when they sell star sign book marks, they dont show the bad points of the star signs.haha.
i also saw faith at macs.dunno what she's doing there.but nvr said hi.haha
k now that i have finished.i am gonna address an issue.i just got a bout of fire from a dragon.i dunno man.if anything i am speaking as a friend here.
u know, if u come to acsi to help us.i am ok with it.in fact happy that we got expert help here.sincerest to the sincerest.i mean our unit is pretty pathetic.our logistics is pretty bad.our team has no discpline.i dun wan u to see such ugliness.but if u can help us,i would say welcome.i did not mean any inkling of sarcasm.the only time i used sarcasm is to my enemies.u are not an enemy.i dunno whats the distrust about.if u think i am some jealous person,u are wrong.i have gone past that stage of bitterness.i understand whats meant to be and not meant to be.i dont understand why are u so angry.if u think its right to come,just come
the anger part.i used to be like that.u can go ask bronson or anyone who have been reading my blog for past year.its full of violence and dark hatred.seething back and forth.to anyone who stood in my way.until...lynette told me how bad it is.i cannot say i have moved past that violent stage.but currently i am not raging.the thing about an angry mind is that u cant think clearly.bronson always told me not to get angry.i never listened.
i never meant any kind of sarcasm nor unpleasant intention.if anything i pray for a clear mind for u.one that is free from rage or paranoia.God bless u.
if u still want to come on thursday,feel free to.no one is stopping u.
9am-12pm
pt kit.
npcc room

boxing day

like what do u do on boxing day? box? bleahx.nothing to do now.zzzzzz.its gonna get busy tomorrow liao.pfft.basket.new years coming up.i'm really reluctant to move on to the new year.hey gimme more of 2005! gotta go....

Reflections! on the silver bells

d'oh
now its time to talk about my sad sad emotional life or more specifically the heart breaks.
esther-i rmb i did some really wrong things.i guess it was too much for her.heh.how would u like it if someone kept calling ur house to tlak to u.oh well that was me then.pretty stupid.a perfect revulsion to me.i wouldnt blame her.

karen-this one was pretty pathetic.i didnt even know shite about her.in my ex tkd class.nothing much to say bout this one.was pretty heart broken tho.haha.

marian-the biggest and the most meaningful one ever.this crush taught me alota things.lessons in life.it taught me jealousy and how bad it can get.it taught me what's meant to be and not meant to be.it taught me lots more stuff.i can rmb we met in june act 2004 but i didnt get her number.then on the bus.i got her number.haha.must've been some kid i was.i realised that no matter how hard u try to get to know her.if its not meant to be it will never be.i actually learnt what was pure bitterness and alota unpleasant stuf.its not good man.so i separated myself into two mindsets.one emotional.one rational.so that in the event that i get another heart break, i will not be devastated.i can still function with silent screams in my mind.(that was abit too drama) it worked.or at least the prototype

the recent one-only know her for not long.has a fiery temper and all sorts of stuff.heh talking bad here.but i not saying her name cos i dun wan acsi people to go disturb her about me.but hey, i found out i could actually like a gal this yr.though i had planned to go unscathed this yr.i have been pretty much dead this yr.only animated by friendship.yup.i tried to stop myself but couldnt really.so i must have control over my feelings.heh.she's the only one who actually took the first step to go drop bomb on me.it was prettty sudden and i was quite shocked for about a sec before i changed mindset.hey but its some pathetic few days that i know her.so its like no biggie.if i hadnt said those dumb words in a state of delusion maybe it would've lasted a lil longer
i was talking bout her to a friend
then he was like saying"if not for her zzzz(hidden to protect identity), she would be better"
i dunno what possessed me to say"its her zzzz that makes her special as an individual"
then he was like"f***"
darned.then he said it out to a few individuals.and it spreads.to fellow acsians with large mouths.then people happen to put two and two together.game over for me....haha.good game i have to say.

next up?i hope i dun have to play this kinda game anymore for IB.otherwise i don't think i can even reach a 6 for each subject.much less a 7.then i gonna disappoint dr ong.
heh.thats it for now.

silver bells...
kk i've got some reflection for the years or four years i've had in acsi.its probably gonna be long.so yeah...the previous posting is one about christmas and some stuff...kk
firstly my cca career:NPCC
in sec one,i joined the uniform group cos we had to join A uniform group.i didnt like ncc cos kinda too tough man.st john's looked totally like a nurse's job.boy brigade seemed too BIG for me.scouts erm...i dunno.didnt like tying knots then?i certainly wuznt joining the band so npcc it is.then land or sea.obviously land man.sea wuz so unstable i thought its gonna be a joke.then we had these ncos.hey all that excitement about uniform and all kinds of bloody drills and knots and somehow feels like a dream where u dunno what u are doing.can u imagine the excitement for the first promotion test?yeah.our fellowship wuznt formed then.oh i didnt know what was CI or SI or whatever nonsense.i was pretty darned scared of joseph yeo,the OC then...
sec two,joseph yeo was still the OC then...but we got a new TO.thats ms mazlind.come from nanhua.she wanted two leaders.perry got the job and somehow by some tough luck i got second.so gotta handle all that stuff man.our fellowship then...
perry, milton,daryl lin, wan cheong, howard, me and bronson. i think thats it at first.then jamien and johann came in.add on shreya.milton left to join band.perry went hk.i had to take over his job.i dunno what to say about my attitude then.zealous?haha.called all those people.INCLUDING THE BLOODY GEPS.unappreciative lot they are.i take time to call all of em,then they're not in.then i call later.they're asleep.thenn they accuse me of biased agst GEPs.that time i DID NOT have anything agst those losers.ahhh...then NCO modular course.we met oh so wonderful chee hoe and CI and actually knew abit of uniform turn out.boy was i scared of them.JL i have to say...made up corely of:lui,bronson,zi gui,suan ray,wan yi,emily,joshua tang,muthu,ming kiat,me?i think thats it.we had some fun.thats when lui met wan yi.bronson lui and me were in the same class in sec two.atc wuz a bitch.cursed and swear.thats when our squad started this policy of not cooking.u know what is generous of CIs?they go and give us frozen meat.thats good.only we died clearing up or not clearing up.oh never bathed for 3d2n too!disgusting.most of us swore not to come for the sec 3 one.it was in ATC that i got to know ivan chong too.yeah....then got CPL rank in sec 2 too.i rmb that one had to take how many times.cos got TO version.then CI version 1.0,1.1,1.2,1.3 and finally they decided ALL pass.bitches.
sec 3-revolution.cos the NCO was GEP.these dirty obscene three letters.they started revolting.ay i wasnt mistreating em ok?and i had prefect stuff to do.cos that time i was a prefect.
some people took the chance to pounce on opportunity.that time our fellowship was crafted:bronson,johan,jamien,wan cheong,daryl lin, me and shreya in school. the first six were np day people.i was away.several individuals took the chance to stir trouble.so when we go back to school with hq stuff.they rejected.like in plato's allegory of the cave.a power division began.oh i was in the same GOH contingent as ivan chong again.i noticed one thing that our school is gonna lose the gold.so had to try desperate measures to go and get stuff.man,that was my vision then.to get something for the unit.and when u wanna whip ur own squad to proper condition they think u are harsh.so in my foolish quest to get extra points for acsi npcc, i went...national camp.rmb before i entered it, i was the next head( thank God i aint).in the camp,i can rmb man.the sms that came in from johan.i got robbed of power.bronson came in as top.thank God that happened,shall elaborate why afterwards.PRINCE ANG came in after him.and me?in charge of trng future leaders.i have to say, my world came crumbling down man.whoo hoo.why i said PRINCE ANG.juz cos some peope are pretty rich to go and donate a certain expensive thing to our unit and also hold a powerful place in the board,then they go let him have a place.omg.i didnt know this though.but my vision changed totally.one thing it is..the scouts helped me stand up.yeah.my vision changed on a huge degree.a part of me just died.see thats why i got slack on the future leaders.though i made some hugefrienships.yup.bronson thats why man.i couldnt stand the thought of a GEP above me.i certainly do not think i am BELOW him in terms of both hard and soft skills.thats why sometimes i bitch u.sorry man.bring at the top wasnt easy for him.the whole lot of us bitched him like mad.there're times when he would snap.jasbir singh was in charge of us then i rmb.but i got to work with jamien.thts good.but it bore a scar man.the bitterness began then.destruction of the unit began then i think.bunny couldnt do a shit about his sec 2s.teach the wrong thing and try to be smart about it.bronson taught me many qualities that i didnt hear then.david ang did no shit,forgivable cos he's useless by right.xing long kept getting in my way.hence forth started the anti GEP/GEP supporter operation.persecution.lotsa enemies were made.isolation of our fellowship from the rest of the squad.poor bronson had to accomodate and be right at the same time.then the atc.the useless prince didnt go.bunny went to try getting SI i bet.by then we were playing politics.a batle for supremacy.its pretty ugly.then ms mzlind let david go for SI interview without letting me have a chance to have a fighting chance.i felt lousy man.vision shifted again.i got SLACKER.brought the whole fellowship with me.the sec 3s(future leaders)became some waste.my passion died.though i still took pride in my uniform, i didnt bother shite about running the unit.about admin.about trng these sec 3s.about ANYTHING.thats why i almost became a venture scout when talking about IB UYO careers.ho i wanted to go for the trng camp man.but then...i still hated knots.so i juz stood by.ROD juz came by like that.national day parade was the biggest bitch we gave bronson.SKIPPING ALL REHEARSALS except for the full dress one and the real one.tell me,is that bad or what?he was freaking pissed.darned...u can say i was hungy for power.and when i didnt get it, i had no energy.stupid thinking it was.but that was me this yr.staff sergeant.same rank as that bunny.i loathed that rank and the fact that i am only same rank as that genetic error and not above.
then...CI course.i went in like a zombie.came out not knowing what i went thru.my rational part wasnt awake.the emotional part was what animated me.now... something woke me up.i dunno man.
if i had continued being the top i would've been an extremely authoritative leader.with a high up nose.the unit would've collapsed.yup...until i still cant seem to find the passion.if u ask me look a the NCOs now, i would say none of em are ready to take up power.our unit's gonna collapse at this rate.i gotta correct my mistakes.

k its not what i gonna say.Christmas is pretty rifed up.i'm pretty BORED SITTING DOWN HERE BLOGGING ON A CHRISTMAS DAY!yesterday was pretty ____...ya.the dj wuz playing out of sorts songs.u can hardly dance to such music man.i mean WHERE IS THE HIP HOP?yeah.didnt drink at night cos i wuz hit in the day liao.during lunch time.darned.it wuz bad man.had to sleep.then go for a run.and still get a headache.alchohol is bad bad bad.
yeah.like took alota dumb photos with my sis cam.pfft.its like retarded.oh and i enjoyd being 25 yrs old yesterday.people actually believed it man! haha
"sorry i can't drink.gotta drive...","currently pursuing my fourth year in medicine/law(diff situations)", "i'm from charlie company of january intake in SAF...the instructors tthere teach me what's honesty and integrity" "oh i gotta go for reservice" man, people actually believed that.dotz
u know i was reading the life style this morning.i came across the page about the few cancer people.i dunno man.my heart went out to them.its like here we aree,people with complete bodies and healthy cells and genes and then there are people who are gonna have some trouble with living to see the next christmas.one of them is so young some more.only 19.bright future.all destroyed by some cancer.then next thing u know, u gotta go for this operation and that operations or this treatment.its saddening.i feel like juz telling em,"u know, God wil always be with you.if u ask Him,He'll definitely comfort u.even if its ur last hour on this place,God is gonna put His hand on yours and say "It's gonna be alright"
yeah.may God be with these individuals
oh its Christmas.i've got a friend who's broken hearted.i wish to comfort him but i dunno how.i think of that jay chou song,but its gonna make things worse.based on the fact that it sounds broken hearted inside the song. u know, "wo hui fa zhe dai,rang hou wang ji ni.jie zhe jin jin bi sahang yan,xiang zhe na yi tian hui you ren dai ti.rang wo bu zai xiang nian ni. wo hui fa zhe dai,rang hou wei wei xiao,jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan...something something, ni wen rou de lian zai wo wang ji zhi qian"its a painful song.not reccomended man.
dotz.i gonna put my reflections for the year in another posting so erpz.yeah.tune in

caroles by candlelight

ahhh.had fun today.lotsa singing.and joy and good will wishing.heh.
i sent my cards on the 23rd!post box wuz like FULL.had to squeeze this and that.phooi man.and wasted extra 2 cents per card for 9 cards cos they dont sell it at 3 cents.darned.
oh today i created a new dish.check out the pics.
instant noodles.plus some kinda spicy pasta sauce and meatballs plus sausages.

bleahx

nothing to do right now.my stamps were pretty screwed up.like u ask ur mum to buy stamps and then she gets 20 cent ones for u.so i gotta go to the SAM and get 2 cents more stamps.i dunno if they sell it like that man.pardon my swakoo ness
i'm bored.bored.bored.lucky tonight got some dinner.d'oh
i'm still ok!

doing

like nothing to do.but add instructors on friendsters.basket they are so young sia.but in the course they seem pretty old.k, my friendster is like running at break neck speed yet again.
d'oh, u know i wonder if all those previous posts seem to sick for ur taste.i know someone saw it.bleahx, its not good i think.considering she gave the same reaction as esther 3 yrs ago.dotz.but esther...its understandable.this one ah, i dunno man.go straighten out your thinking or something. i also need to straighten out mine.basket.to escape unscathed is entirely impossible for this yr.it seems like yesterday that marian broke my heart but then i've recovered.hey it wuz bad man.ask anyone.i went to ldp like some zombie.but with help i stood up.sealed the entrance to my heart so that i wouldnt go dumb or something.but i thought wrong.man i must be stupid or dumb(k i rmb wan cheong asking bronson that on the atf day like about more than ten plus times),burnt one time,two times,three times still wan kana burn a fourth time...die sia.
must've done something wrong in my past life or something.dotz
u know next yr i'm gonna be MORE careful.crap i need to buy stamps.lotsa it
darned.darned.darned.darned.i feel oddly calm.
oh,my lil ol emotional side has been proven wrong yet again.juz got blown off yet again.(boy how many times am i gonna do it)sometimes a part of me will never learn that there can never be love for me.dotz.and cause my whole self unnecesary trouble and awkwardness.but hey, I'M OK!
thats cos i only knew her for 20 plus days.cant get too far.better get an angiogram done to be sure(k i wuz joking bout that)
everytime i like someone i fail to go according to that 1 corinthians verse.no wonder....
heh
its confirmed.its not in God's plan.haha
k gtg.

i have absolutely nothing to say.people rmb events by songs or pictures.thats what triggers memories.this song really brings it out.d'oh...i rmb this song playing in my head.yupz...screw the pearls in the ocean.i'm not stupid.eggy,does this look like the first time i'm getting...broken?*rolls eyes*

"You're Beautiful"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

hey i can play this song on the guitar man.yeah.was also playing everywhere by michelle branch on my guitar.and i finally got the chords right for qi li xiang tho its a lil old.d'oh...but hey its an accomplishment for a self learner...

i have nothing to say

k ya...juz some stuff to report
yesterday's carolin....(carollin or carolin?) was fun.kind of an eyeopener.and people were decked to their nines!haha.its kinda good actually.to spread love and joy of Christmas.but i have to say...was pretty bloated from the experience.shouldnt have eaten so much from the first house.yup...but i really felt happy spreading joy and love of Christmas.i dunno man.takes my mind of pressing issues.ahhh....reached home quite late.
got a bloody bleeding nose yesterday night.playing guitar then drip drip.then suck it back in.suck a while.then too much.then cough....out this huge load of blood.then cleaned up.and continue playing the guitar at about one plus.something must be really wrong with me.sleep is like plagues with unrest.ahha.
then today went parkway with my sis.she had to do all that shite.i bought cards and the do as infinity cd.yeah.my sis bought CIGS.didnt figure she wuz a smoker.crap,not supposed to say.but who cares?
received dazzlyn's christmas card.heh.the most heartwarming three words any person can say to u is...God bless you.yup.
my dad's like scolding my brother cos he went following his friend's family to go swimming.i have to say.its pretty demeaning.like some servant.u know butlers wait for their masters to finish their activity.haiz, some people will never get it.moron.no shame.
shut up eggy,don't good for me.currently nursing a bloody wound.don't chu chok me liao hor. i've got some lock and key business to do again.but its not as bad as las yr.
i'll be ok!haha.csi trng.campcraft prep.squad outing(?),christmas,collect books,interim council meeting,eoy camp?and candle light by the stars thingy
d'oh.no mood to talk about anything else.no poem man.slight depression.
oh nono.no tears.juz need ice cream.chocs.fresh air.life
i better wake up man.there's some improvements needed at npcc acsi.LOTS.considering i almost destroyed the sec 3s by treating em like babies.its about time to stop sleeping.been in slumber for quite long.i thought the trng camp can wake me.but no...now,its time to work.crap.
"last christmas i gave u my heart,the very next day u gave it away...but this year to save it from tears...i'm giving it to someone special..."too bad its broken this year to.

"Last Christmas"

[CHORUS:]
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

[CHORUS:]

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
It's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

[CHORUS]

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

[CHORUS x2]

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover buy you tore him apart
Maybe next year I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.

message not well brought across.but i am...really off.outa body experience...
someone help me?haha

jagged

i feel like a total jack ass now.detonation even before got chance to set time.people knew before i knew(there times when i dunno what is happening within myself)darned and i thought i hid it real well.negative manifestation is still attention.crap man.how the hell would people know?darned.darned.darned.its the end of it anyway.
feels like some korean serial.pfft.not that i've watched many.but the important this is i shouldnt have to be some character in a korean serial!all these happened juz cos i appealed.God, what are U trying to tell me? is it another of Your funny ol trials.i thought the course was one.but not something else within the course.i'm pretty sick of trials of such a kind.its like a bloody neverending wire that goes round and round and round with no end.sometimes u juz wanna break out of it.ya i can rmb what i told lui before the course...and now i am totally getting hit by whati said will not happen.its not possible.my fuse has gone out.darned it man.of all times now.
if i didnt appeal i wouldnt have to go through such stuff.but i wouldnt be able to know such great people.if i didnt appeal i wouldnt be a CI at all.there's no way i would go for j06.i dunno if my enthusiasm can last that long if i didnt appeal.and now, i'm caught in the tangle of knots and lines.the same one i had a year ago.STUPID.STUPID.
man, my cough is real bad...
ah crap, eggy don't make anymore noise already.i've got hit ok?happy?darned man.that i gotta admit it.
when u accept someone despite her imperfections
when u feel happy when she smiles
when u don't mind her fiery temper
when u feel unhappy when she talks of others
when the whole world notices what ur intention is but u urself dont
when u think u've covered it all up,but in reality its pretty open
just when u think u're gonna be ok
u realise u're in love.
darned

when's the next squad 5 outing?

biatches

simply evilness to the max.two ladies ganging up on me.ms nette,we got agreement one hor.baskets...argh.jia lat sia.heh.really bored now.using my sis com.kinda no diff from home com.cos loaading of friendster profiles just as slow.maybe ten years or something, then somone's profile pop out.i'm gonna vomit blood from kenneth lui and wanyi's kissing nonsense.my sis saw itand was like !!!ay wanyi what have u got to say for urself ah?at least idont behave all sappy in public.haha.but u're forgiven.
was watching jingle all the way just now.man, christmasis so near!time passed us by in police academy.one week to christmas.two weeks to one year aniversary of some terrible thing that happened to me.oh well, i've since moved on from...there.its like really hard to accept one year has passed by so fast.i can only remember like yesterday that i go write that nonsense posting on new years eve or day.hmm.christmas is a time of love peace and joy.i so wouldnt wanna go spoil with such matters.i'mpretty happy with my curent status.tho i would really like an...electric guitar.left handed.speaking of which my acoustic one kinda went outa tune while i was at pa.like only three weeks of neglect n it went.twang
oh well, a-carolin' i'm going 2moro night.haha.
one thing i have to declare here.i am guarded against the stuff that lui and wanyi do.i dunno call it a scar or something.but there's such a phobia there.so even if i have an inkling of feeling, i'll just stifle it.not healthy to the mind u see.and besides dont have that yuan fen feel of it.this game aint meant for me to play now.i guess i have to be touched b something real warm.butthen i read so many bloody novels and see so much tv that emit such warmness, and i still cant seem to get it.heh.its gonna be hard.i guessits just that she hasnt appearedin my life yet.i cant allow a little flair of the heart to get to me.or i'll be ruined and another tragedy happens.in one sentence:i'm sick of running against a wall.since i cant be sure, i rather not dabble in suchstuff.i'm pretty sure she dont feel the same way so why bother trying?HA
next, i exactly guarantee her happiness.so why makesme fit to actually start gonig after her.pardon my english.laptop abit hard to use.
times there are when my heart has a yearning
times when it really needs to pour out
but the time is not right
the person wouldn't feel the same
the wall is there to keep all distractions in
or rather its my non-existent guts to dare to love

soundsabit off.but heh, its probablythe truth.everything is in God's hands.it was arranged that i met her.but not necessarily that i be with her.guess i gotta ask the Big Guy up there.whether its worth going after.tho i havent really been speaking to Him much nowadays.kk i have been a bad Christian ok?
pfft
thats it.the thing that has beenruling my mind the past few days is more or les here.in a not so pleasant form.

when's squad 5 going out?
oh, dont tell her about this place...i doubt she'd even come here to check it out...

people holding squad 5 photos, can send to me via friendster?

yeahz...probably a reply to all ur nonsense tags.took me like how many weeks to clear that i didn't have anyone on my mind then and now this horrible misconception comes back.wazzup with u all man.ah later eggy go disturb me again.simply the biatches man.went library yesterday and borowed like hell lota chinese books.most were some shite stories.note: i only borrow modern day love stories.like ou xiang ju and korean serials and movies.and some really good stories.i've been doing this for a long time so anyone who wants to make a comment onthat...save it.haha
oh well, came across this korean movie.rmb that time i watched lover's concerto.hey i borrowed the book now.on the back it writes a concept of love.its a translation from mandarin
though there wasnt a mention of "love"
that was our most treasured times
when we fall in love with someone
when we see the world with our loved ones
the feeling is not the same as before
the wild spring flowers that just bloomed are so short and small
the stars in the summer night sky are actually so many
the falling leaves in deep autumn were actually so beautiful
the lamp light in the winter night is actually so warm
we sigh in astonishment at the sights we are so familiar with
maybe love is about longing and expecting
the cruelty of parting is because things go back to the past

i don't really understand it much.but er...wats with the four seasons nonsense man....
"its not that people want to live in self denial, but rather they don't dare to do things that result in much failure"
go figure that one urself

bloody internet

stupid internet is like super slow.take like five mins just to load someone's profile.maybe more.i'm pissed with it...
i've got good news for "bitch"

listen to this

a match made a year ago
that went separate ways not so long after
one is hurt while the other cant be bothered
a chance for a friend
that does not know her well
the door open but whether u dare to go through
its up to u

i wanna linger here.a little longer here.alittle longer here with u.it doesnt seem quite right...blah blah blah...i've really got nothing much to write here. some stuff about our squad. a message for everyone of the squad.copying lui:

aaron: k didnt like know u much.but u seem a bit blur.but cool.sorry i called u blur

kenny:man, u look like u've got the groove in u man....keep working

ivan:erpz...sec two same atc group.sec three same GOH cont.now same squad.great pals we are

muthu:piss off.haha.juz jk.less whining please.and stop all that vulgarities.its not gonna make u popular.and don't disturb ppl.wan talk bad about me.talk in front of me.dont go snigger and smirking behind my back.

wei jun:very funny.keep saying "i don't like michelle" haha.sorry i called u blur cock...

jia hoong:i can only say pro-ness.and u dun exude any airs about u.i like that alot sia.and can tlak nonsense with us

tian guan:don't stress so much man.must learn to dedicate jobs.relac man...pro-ness too

jia hao:full humour.i dunno man.natural ability.has care and concern and nonsense twenty four seven.hmmm wait for ur chance man...oh man i dunno how anyone can help u with her cos u dunno her well lor.haha.and her bf is like freaking powerful.much stronger than me.u ah...started all that nonsense rumours.just cos i said something in delusion

iskandar:really cool amusing and fun with ur entire personality.and gentlemanly too.unless that time in atc u had other reasons for putting ur jacket on hasmidah.oops.yup

ahmad:simply the best.balance.motivation to the fullest.an laugh too much.mandy's arch-enemy or something....haha.

hasmidah:STOP PLAYING ALREADY.haha.epitomy of blurness...there are times to be serious. and times to be with isk....oops.said too much

michelle:is that like ur real voice?i dunno. have more confidence in ur commanding.full of kindness too...haha.great encourager.forever tlaking about....(u know what) with mandy

nurul:bleahx,gives off some leadership aura.tho a bit blur.she knows her stuff but sometimes might get stage fright or something.

wanyi:basket, u and lui better stop it sia.no shame sia.kana caught by mess guard also dunno how to stop.and i never bully ur bf la!oh and get ur facts right.don't come here anyhow speak nonsense hor...this is a blog.heh

kenneth lui:u and wan yi better stop it man.its really disgusting to go dinner with u two.here muak there muak.feed this and that.kiss kiss.yucks.vomit blood

bronson: ay my brother man.tho we've bitched u in our nco times.seem really quiet in the course but with great performance.man, people this guy is one person we should model ourselves after.really.knows when to have fun and all.its really good to be in same course as him.w/o it wouldnt feel the same with muthu and lui.cos one is irritating and the other disgusting.

mandy:freaking funny when she's pissed off.command like man like that.always hitting people.always mooning after unnamed people.but one helluva good standard in drill.oh, tie the timber hitch properly.oh and good luck in ac next yr.haha

keng siong:the best guy instructor the course could ever give us.patience is like written all over him.he gives off the older aura tho he's not really that old.very matured.

amanda:the best female instructor the course could ever give us.balance of strict and slack very good.reminding us of this and that.sister in Christ too!

God bless to all

tuesday:caroling
friday:candle under the stars
saturday:christmas eve lunch and dinner
sunday:CHRISTMAS!!!

so fast...and school's gonna start soon.i havent like been notified of anything about student council matters or CSI stuff.erpz.what's gonna happen next yr sia?everything is like so ambiguous.i dun even know what the crap to expect man

yesterday i watched this really epitomy of gayness in love show.concept of love.is that we have to be daring.bleahx.basket daring?!
lady:....i'm afraid that this love is an illusion
guy:its not.i'm serious about u
lady:i'm afraid of our future.about what happenes next
guy:i'm also afraid.lets be afraid to gether.face the future together.

somewhere along the lines.prettty gayness. u see the concept of love here is: those who are blatant about it explode real fast.but those who are subtle about it always miss the mark, save for a few lucky ppl.but those who dare to love are those who will be in love.is it really a risk u wanna take?what if its a road that leads to a wall?don't say take chances.cos if u have that kinda attitude in life, u'll just end up nowhere.u must have a target and a road to it.forgive me if i say such harsh things,but its hard to trust ur heart when it makes u do dumb things.i've got expereince in such matters.ok ok.i talked too much here.check my archives if u wanna know.yupz.thoroughly if u really need to know.

minyang went cambridge while we were at PA.he's really gearing up man.lil bitch.haha...hope he got prezzies for 4.11/2005

now i've got another song.my current blog song.
"发如雪" the second hit song from Jay's 周杰伦 latest album November's Chopin 十一月的萧邦. It's a love ballad and one of the highly recommended song in the album!
"发如雪"
狼牙月伊人憔悴
我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回
你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭

繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解
只恋你化身的蝶

你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美

你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑

Rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月

oh 狼牙月伊人憔悴
我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回
你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭

繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解
只恋你化身的蝶

你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美

你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑

Rap:
你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月

你发如雪凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁
爱在月光下完美

你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑

啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾
你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪(x2)

i don't really understand what it means. but its like some love song about reincarnation.the MTV is like that.thought it wuz some samurai thing at first.haha

a trip down memory lane

yup if i got time i show u the pic of ivan and me in sec 2 atc.the new town one la...but for now...the SI foto is a fake.so badges that'll give u astonishment that don't belong in the one with the fake sword.all fake.badges in the fake sword foto are real.sword belongs to bronson anyway...

yup...i've got inspiration to write a poem.i put into another posting cos didnt want u to keep scrolling down..heh

"to see her smile"
sun rise, sun set
rain falls and wind blows
on a random day at a random time
i fell for her
a rose with thorns
a face like an apple
a smile like sunshine
eyes beaming with innocence that look deep into ur soul
all that she does matters to me

whether she feels the same i do not know
but i wanna hold her in my arms and never let her go
pretend the world's only got the two of us
take her to see the sun rise and the stars shine
in the kingdoms beyond the sky

but for now...
all i wanna do is see her smile

if its a little too horrible for ur liking.then sorry.heh.inspiration came from that song.i better keep myself in check.flowing all over the place.distractions are a big no-no for next year.hmmm, yup.a road leading to wall should not be followed.common sense thingy.
pics coming up next

yeah no shit man.we're all passed out and probationarry.bleahx.one thing that really pissed me off yesterday wuz that someone came in and disturbed out parade rehearsal.bloody hell,almost died of dehydration lor.oh wellz, now taht the courese is completed.got some major reflections.firstly,lui and wanyi are freaking disgusting outside pa.oh my....shall not elaborate.then, muthu is full of crap.shall leave at that.i'm glad that i've found a sis in Christ in the course.but i didn't really feel the power of God.haiz.its like moving along at a really slow speed like some zombie.mmmm
oh man, i'm finally a pCI.like there's a weight on that rank.the most inspiring and touching part wuz when jia hoong's boss go and put the rank on for him.i dunno man.i would've been moved to tears.heh.everyone wuz decked in number ones.getting ready to be "married"the times were good.we were united.sorry if i had been an arse to some people in the spur of the moment.now the future is bright with whatever unit's we're posted to...alota things have been running through my mind.one thing is this song by maroon 5
"She Will Be Loved"

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

heh i dunno man....feels kinda sad listening to this song...

i am bloody pissed

yeah note the word bloody
ok morning woke up cos kenneth go and call me at PA gym at 7am 9dec.had a last shit at a civilized place before getting ready to go off.movement group moved us from there to the campsite at ubin.next time want to to that bloody campsite mus rmb to bring a back pack. not a sling one.otherwise ur shoulder might get killed.then it wuz rope obs.not so interesting.long sleeved t shirt got dirtied.not too bad.juz that....later then i start bitching about it.the war games was kinda...off with all that candles and blah blah blah.in the end our team won.dunno how sia
the next day, orienteering sia.some people decided to hide their checkpoint at some bloody impossible place which had a bee hive guarding.one the size of my school bag.then, it started to rain...lucky me.wasnt feeling well.campfirepreparation got everyone on a high
yesterday, had rain at 5 am.bloody strong one at that.sleeping in a tent then u wake up cos the wind blow so strong opening ur tent flap.then ran in the rain to foyer to sleep.iskandar wuz a gentleman to pass his jacket to hasmidah cos she had not poncho or jacket to keep her warm.admirable.notic i havent started bitching yet, its later man....wait.then canoeing.not too pleasant.campfire everyone wuz on a high.melvin-sir gave us an interesting quote"a vision w/o action is just a dream,action without a vision is juz passing time, vision and action can change te world" rmb that ppl..
today,touch rugby...play abit more.ate lunch as squad 5.balik kampung
firstly, rations.i think theres a reason why they're called ration instead of "food u pig out on"meaning u actually ration it.and the task for welfare group is to ensure the welfare of others right?including the food....biggest irony is that our group ran outa food first.breakfast bars were missing by the first day's dinner.it pissed me off real bad.this is gonna get bad, so if people concerned dont wanna get angry or hurt, pls dont continue reading.our group had some mutha bitches that ate TWO breakfast bars for lunch.that TWO man.multiply that by many people, there goes ur ration packs man.at least some cooked thank God for them.and some even HOARDED the bars then let it appear that we ran outa bars.wowzers huh?we're welfare and we can't even control our own animalistic urges isnt it.i had been vegetarian for two.i think even stray animals think of their stomachs tomorrow not juz now.but noooo....welfare group isn't it? they can go access the rations easily and then go pig out.snack time.stomach growls.human instinct died in their brain.if they even had one.note this is some only....not the WHOLE group.so next run outa rations.they dun even know its their actions.they don't bother rationing or cutting down on their monstrous appetites.if the thing runs out,they'll juz request for more from Logisitics.cool huh?like a big hole in the self discipline department.then the next thing they did was to COLLECT EVERYONE's RATION pack and redistribute.like some bloody communist people.man,i really hope they grow brains or something.if not at least something to control their primal instincts.
next tentage,ok i don't blame the lodging group for putting me up with so many big guys.like big sized.first night, i had to make a guy fill half a person's space.while i took the other.i have to pity him.its a foetal position we took up.no space for me.then the next day, our friend go kb to his friends so loud that i could hear.man, i could actually hear him cursing in chinnese.where's the finnesse.he has an attitude problem.really bad.
then, muthu.omg.if u think i whine alot.think about HIM.wth man.i have mood swings.so sometimes i hurl abuse at him.then he goes whining..."one time u use me, then u treat me like dirt"i would have slapped his face fifty thousand times.and still tlaks outa point stuff.go on muthu.ask the world what they think of u....then he tries to go acting all man on me.oh, he also used the f words alota times.bet nobody knew that.he's swakoo.pissing off.whines alot again.whines.whines.whines.whines.whines.has little patience.like he came out from some rock.born yesterday.
shouting people.one thing i really hate is that people shout at me to move faster.i don't like to rush.if u rush erverything in life, there's no joy.but no....there people who actually scream and shout "D05....." "D05...."like screaming is gonna makes things easier?then there're the morons who try to imitate the insturctors.oh boy, i really want to whup their asses.what are they thinking man?maybe they should try growing some brains man.THINKING CI huh?THINKING?! they can't even think la!one whole life they will never THINK!if they did, they'll realise they have a bleeding nose.from my point of view( which is pretty high up), these jokers can only create a synapse response.THATS ALL.they aint got any right to go bitching around.same batch some more sia...man, we should wait till 50 yrs down the road when they manage to get a brain cell
kayaking-man i have to admit this.i am a non swimmer.no matter how much i try i still cant get the mechanism right.so i had to partner with this one star biatch.yes biatch.again she can read this for all i care.i hope she does man.i DO know how to kayak.its not my fault my left arm stronger than the right. so everytime i go forward, we're going right. and i dont really bother to calculate relative velocity of wave and boat and sea.and blah blah blah.then she kept yelling at me.like she thinks i'm stupid or something.oh well, she can go on living in her own world of dumbness.i hail from a place she would never even dream of.nor think of sending children there.cos her genes cant code for the criteria to enter our school.i am sounding cocky here. but i really want to put these jokers down. cos THEY AINT FIT TO SHOUT AT me...oh whats with that powerful sarcastic tone huh? u wanna go sarcastic?nobody beats high up at sarcastic tone.it sure aint some two bit lil gal's game.i really hate getting bitched.mingwei says whack her with the paddle.ah i wuz so tempted to...
attitude of the group.boy it sucks man.everything is stupid about that group save for a few people. ahmad did a good job keeping morale high.oh some people said bad stuff about me.they can go on and do that.i dun really care.thery can go on and describe me to be a rapist, murderer, thief and all.i dun care.as far as i am concerned.these bastard deserve to die.yeah.i know i complain alot.its to make known a point.but then it backfired on me.cos some people(i forgot that they had no brains) couldnt understand the point.losers
oh yes,sentry.simply the powerful.like some two bit losers actually know it all about sentry.hey man,i could understand em even with my mind half asleep.and nobody will want to enter the campsite so late.not worth it.and nobody will want to escape cos its so far and late....so sentry people, its really no point.sec schools have security guards.and our unit doesnt really bother about sentry.what for check the toilet for intruders?
finally, my illness-lets call it the mandy sickness cos i got it from mandy.yeah made the stupid mistake for taking her bottle and (wow)drinking two bottles amount of water from it.when she wuz sick.we had similar bottles.so yeah.had flu and sore throat.was drowsy on land ex.ahh haiz.i thought i would come down with fever or osmething
haha...the insturctors did a good job guiding us.oh and they took time off from their hols so that they could train us and mould us.we have to really thank them.
FOUR MORE DAYS TO POP!!!
anyone with christmas functions on 25 dec?
any functions after 16 dec i'lll be happy to go....heh.
squad 5 all the way!

on home leave

yup.residential is over...kinda sad man.my atc group is welfare man....*rolls eyes* like water distribution is so my calling huh? yup.okok better get into some detail about RC first
residential course...kinda fun.our squad:squad 5
kenneth lui(lee)
lee wan yi(lui)
kenny(g)
ahmad(hitam)
jia hoong(slut)
jia hao(bitch)
mandy(m&m....haha)
muthu(dickless)
michelle( ks)
sean lee(steroid)
bronson(stress ball)
iskandar(spongebob)
tian guan(thumbknot)
our bloody code names are so outa point.i don't do steroids.my arms are not big.kkkz...our instructors are these two really great people:keng siong and amanda...really raelly great people.wanyi and kenneth were really disgusting with their couple antics.it feels off to sit at the same table as em man.bleahx....
there were also people who were blatant about some guys.i cannot name who.but its rather shocking to hear such stuff from people.like wowzers man.times have really changed.heh.i'm pretty darned sure someone wants to change atc grouping with me....heh
muthu is a lil punk in the course.it pisses me off.he tells you lame outa point shite.really man.i can't stand it.and when i tell him shut up. he goes all aggressive.i really feel like giving him a knuckle sandwich.selfish.authoritative.one way street.vulgar at that too.not exactly a team player.not a good leader too.and i'm in the same group as him for atc.bad luckz man.stdupid proposal went under 10 drafts.with effort of ahmad and i and asmidah and muthu.muthu cared aobut his sleep.man, he's like some child who thinks the world is his toy place.i'm not afraid of him reading this.cos there's nothing really much i have to fear from him.oh did i mention he's spastic? for the past 9 days i've been keeping my blood under control.pisses me off.hope he gets posted to springfield sea unit man.far away from acsi sea unit.nobody wants him back.phooi.
people with stage fright:that pisses me off too.esp those who are really lazy.don't contribute.people who talk rubbish. and when time comes for them to talk serious they go talk nonsense. never serious one.esp those people contradicting me when i do stuff.crap man.
food poisoning.boy it wuz bad.real bad.alota people got sent to polyclinic.shall not elaborate.
bunk's ok.bunk mates.there were some bastard who tried imitating instructors and started yelling their heads off. if anything, they should grow brain and think intructors don't scream.i dunno what's wrong with muthu man.alota stuff.
this sounds like a bitching session.haiz.still got atc man.dreaded feeling.packed.gonna shit.bathe one last time.eat my gonna expire chocolate.sleep and prepare myself for the las leg of outa home.this course is like some upgrading course for me.character development.dawned on me that we're gonna be CIs.no shite joking.we're gonna be the ones people are asking in times of doubt.to look big.to look old.
ok need to go whack muthu after POP.maybe some pics coming up on nexct posting.i'm really gonna hit him man.bloody punk is not a team player.needs to change his attitude.like WAKE UP ALREADY!
"you are not a vessel to be filled but a candle to be lighted"
listen to good advice muthu...shut up ur trap when u trying to think of some lame-funny joke.save it.it irritates me.selfishness aint getting u anywhere.

24 hours in the outside world

k got no time to talk in detail. will fill in after atc...currently still in book out time.gota polish.gotta pack again. and...its not bad.heh.

Sean Lee
12 Feb 1989
Christian

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