Friday, February 24
a fistful of SAND
i'll be darned.the past two weeks have been really tiring.really really tiring.damned man.barely managed to go and scrape through.and damned npcc trainings are getting too boring.people talk bad about me when i do stuff for the unit.
firstly,i've been freaking troubled.i say friendship is like a handful of sand.slowly slowly its lessens and then when u try to hold on to it,it then decreases even more.i made the mistake of closing my fist too tight.darned.
this issue bombarded me so bad that i couldnt do the bio test.damned.i gonna fail it when its like so easy.trouble trouble.i'll be damned if i say the troubles of the past havent been ended properly.hell yeah.they trouble man.fed up man.sometimes i really want to take those feelings for a dragon and throw it out the window.not that i still have but the stigma is there.damned man.every time i think of it,i feel like punching the wall.
speaking of which.that funky teacher in chinese b gave me the kill for my oral presentation.i was impromptu and she go and kill my speech with her wise ass comments.shoulda told her go an die.but damn i'm pissed about that.its like some noob of ac culture come in and try to be funny with me.eat middle finger man.i know a list of vulgarities u dun even wanna test.i dont care if shes a chinese teacher.i shouldnt be subj to such treatment.considering when i heard chinese b is gonna be super slack andthen some uptight nonsense thing comes in and EATS other periods up.what the hell?since when was it her call to delay PE?go to hell man.
ARGH.i am backsliding!backsliding...LORD DONT PASS ME BY.i dont wanna be an atheist.i wanna feel Your Love again.what it feels like to revel in Your Grace and Love.man i need someone i can trust to talk to.so far, i havent found the chance to even talk...i feel so....SIAN
ah tmr is gals prelims for campcraft comp.another ten plus hours.TWO BUCKS.sheesh.can we go have some more pay per HOURS?!
escorted @ 8:59 PM;
Saturday, February 18
o bloody week!
O BLOODY WEEK! been staying out late.
valentines nothing big.i only wrote a love story incorporating elements of a story,angels and three flowers.damned man.
wednesday had holiday.need a rest.but still went to study with mark and chermaine.wasnt quite the productive session.then mark went for his attachment and chermaine and i went jurong east library to continue studying.heh.talked alot.then studying commenced till bout four plus before i realised that i was late for the briefing.rushed like hell to novena.some briefing.went home.thursday-super sian day.then it was a discussion with bronson.bleax.sian ness...slept super late that night.bleahx
friday,some shit day.everytime i have to go for maths lesson after lunch.extremely powerful isnt it?parade rehearsal is super shit.i'm super demoralised.STUPID.
today is like super screwed up.the weather sucked totally and our unit couldnt get one flag up in time.lunch was a great use of time.wastage.haha.talked alota cock.
kana scolded by zaki by getting all drama when acsi was gettting last minute.
i'm damned irritated man.left halfway to go charis.(go figure what that it urself hint:its somewhere near my house)went to meet chermaine at eunos and proceeded to leave the mrt station.lucky shes there sia.wouldnt wanna be the only noob there.
its a pretty screwed week after this.bio chem and b&m.walao.that sucks.damn i'm getting sleepy.got a poem to write.maybe next time
heh, gals prelims next sat.bleahx..
escorted @ 11:58 PM;
Saturday, February 11
the song on me blog
Kiss Goodbye
作詞:王力宏／作曲:王力宏
Baby 不要再哭泣
這一幕多麼熟悉
緊握著妳的手彼此都捨不得分離
每一次想開口 但不如保持安靜
給我一分鐘專心好好欣賞妳的美
幸福搭配悲傷 同時在我心交叉
挫折的眼淚不能測試愛的重量
付出的愛收不回 還欠妳的我不能給
別把我心也帶走去跟隨
每一次和妳分開
深深地被妳打敗
每一次放棄妳的溫柔 痛苦難以釋懷
每一次和妳分開
每一次Kiss You Goodbye
愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白
幸福搭配悲傷 同時在我心交叉
挫折的眼淚不能測試愛的重量
付出的愛收不回 還欠妳的我不能給
我才明白愛最真實的滋味
每一次和妳分開
深深地被妳打敗
每一次放棄妳的溫柔 痛苦難以釋懷
每一次和妳分開
每一次Kiss You Goodbye
愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白
每一次和妳分開
深深地被妳打敗
每一次放棄妳的溫柔 痛苦難以釋懷
每一次和妳分開
每一次Kiss You Goodbye
愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白
escorted @ 9:37 PM;
some kinda shite
this week has been one in bad shape.monday wasnt so bad.tuesday also.wednesday i woke up with a heavy head.i suddenly couldnt get up la.like stumble and fall.even up to school.felt super sleepy.then slept thru TOK.till priya swarmy woke me up.then thursday, i got a freaking headache from morning to night.and went HMV with reuben to see some of his oldies.kinda got fed up with going home early.then i heard the wang li hom song "kiss u goodbye"...i wanna dedicate it to a special friend.ok thats like suan-ing that friend with that song.cos its some super sad song.its that song on the back of the friday weekly this week.
one infuriating thing i heard this week.i heard of some fisherman.that go fishing to boost his $(*&%(* ego...he found this special fish, then go play wayang with it.then when the fish starts to get tired of waiting, he decided to chuck it back into the water and forever not know it.all cos what?his stupid ego cant take such an action that someone dont want to wait anymore.causing that fish much pain.oh man, can i be granted a punch on his face so hard that hiss nose bleeds? for doing this kinda thing.is he trying to be funny?i can show him whats funny alright.a broken nose.HA!
oh,two things in npcc which piss me off.one thing,when i go inflict punishment las wk.one of our CIs said ji bai.people concerned pls do not say his name.then some wuss cadets couldnt take the heat of being punished.that he go and complain to the teacher.damn well i know who he is.but i wont take revenge.we all know thats not me.but sometimes they dont get our intentions whenever we treat em harshly.my eyes burn everytime i see em.cos i get super sian of them.esp sec 2s and 3s.oh my,do they think their drill is fit for parade.i told ppl its part of our orientation program for sec 1s.and they actually believe me.theres only so much i can do by screaming on the parade square.but they still do things that make the parade laugh at em.then u cant take the heat, then u go complain using something entirely unrelated to ur unhappiness as an excuse.do u really think i believe ur dumb story of being concerned of the use of bad words.true that its wrong.but thats not ur real reason isnt it?its just to get revenge back at CIs for making u pump.oh well,i just have to make things interesting.see ya in training man.u should leave a contact number for u next of kin to come pick up ur body should it drop dead due to exhaustion that ur extremely weak body cant take.
the next thing in npcc.muthu's cadets.they are full of shit.they dare to go capless under the sun.they DARE to go warn me that they'll kaobei me if i piss em off by punishing em too much.i see, so now i'm getting threatened eh?wth man.muthu's trained some shit that he cant control.my impression of his ability to come up with NCOs really changes with time.now i think he's training animals.beasts that dont listen to ur instructions cos they dont value their ranks.sorry man.if they aint gonna appreciate what they've got.i guess its gotta be taken away.a macromanager cannot be a micromanager.i say close sea unit in our school n throw the ones that were inside it to some cca that i dont care heck about.
o levels.i have absolutely no idea of what impression does a b4 in higher chi give.but i dont think its good.in fact i think it sucks.when i hear that so many ppl get b3, i am extremely demoralised.i must get more in touch with my china side.for this,i've changed the song to dui de ren by dai ai ling.dont ask me what the song means.nor even who the singer is.i listen to chinese music for like 3 yrs + and still dunno who she is.but its a nice song...heh
some people ask me if i'm feeling heart broken.wanyi and lui go suan me by telling me their plans on valentines.but as lui said, ur heart cant be broken...so.theres immense pain in there la.okok.not angina la...i feel i've been thrown into some shit ass mix of emotion for ntt.it almost convinced me of constantine's concept of God being a big baby playing with some toys.but He aint.all a matter of bad karma.crap still having headache man.
escorted @ 4:16 PM;
Saturday, February 4
wat the shit?!
oh man...alota stuff to go thru for the week.wednesday after meeting bronson for campcraft, went to study with lui and wanyi.wrong move.they keep suaning ppl sia...
went home.
thursday was a bitch...super boring.irritating.friday maths periods are getting to be a drag.
friday's some kinda cock parade.the evil effects of poor training from bunny,shreya,ivan lee wan cheong and ryan huang are all manifested.in SHIT DRILL!wth.the parade square of ppl were laughing at npcc la.i am terribly ashamed as a ci.esp attached to THIS unit.NO GOLD!WHAT KINDA NONSENSE?!gonna get laughed at again...BY ALL THE REST OF THE UYOS!despised.what kinda shit is that?i dunno where to start.i even skipped half hour of marc's lesson to come down to see whats going on.all the bright visions for the unit is like all in long kang.campcraft comp also have to do this kinda complacency.i am so fed up.i shoulda join scouts from sec 1.then i can learn to make merry and be happy with campfires.but darned i had to join np.and now i wear some rank and i cant change any shit.its like building a unit.thats some shite job. we should just close down the unit altogether.lucky we got pasir ris crest oc transferred here.i dunno man.shes good la.but this unit sounds condemned."a unit like no other"pls la...the only one that lets cadets slack.
if i didnt join np.i would get to know the scouts better.definitely be parrt of a GOH contingent more than one time.be happy w/o no stupid prince trying to steal power.no need to meet some curse in CIBTC that takes u for a total ride thats uncalled for
.its a real curse.i shouldnt have moved heart.i hatemyself for having loved such a person.what kinda shit was i thinking man?if i actually penned this story down.its gonna be super bitter.its the worst crap i've ever gone thru.this kinda ppl.its not something that i would weep for cos somehow no tear comes to my eye at all.i also dunno why.must be my lachrymal sac got something wrong.its not so much of a broken heart.its more of regret,hatred.i'm not some stupid person that'll contradict myself.i wished i hadnt met u la.bring nothing but trouble and chaos and hurt into my life.not being a ci?its ok wad.jus no peak cap.be like jamien lor.no biggie.but darned i had to choose this path.damned( theres more here...but due to others viewers,i shall not traumatize other ppl.its saved in a draft.HA!)
ah nuts.i'm freaking sian.got that stupid chi project.what kinda nonsense is it to go find some stupid chi settlers cock?can she go and die or something?she really sucks as a chinese teacher.
ay wanyi and lui better u two STOP talking nonsense in front of the other cis.wth man.all these half truths then go make me look like i'm some idiot.even amanda also got wrong info.what nonsense?i dont even know of any squad outing why would i be an organiser?i'm not even an organizer type of person.what rubbish u two tell amanda?i wasnt even informed of the outing.besides its too random a date....dun think i'm going.
ah crap!i hate school.i wanna take a rest...
escorted @ 5:25 PM;
