Monday, May 29
what is life?
been realising this thing lately man.or thinking about it really.
sometimes in life, we're bound by stuff that make us do stuff against nature.like loving someone.u know the hardest torture is that u have someone to share ur happiness with and u deny urself cos of ur own personal matters.its like wasted love.the world aint meant to be like that.the world is meant to be simple.not filled with so much malice and extra thinking.tell me what do u gain after denying urself and still think so much?nothing but unhappiness.but then loving someone takes a commitment, some people would be unwilling to take that extra step to think about another thing much less another person. so how?
was staring at my peak cap again...recapping our D05 times.funny, we talk about all our comaraderie and all and now we hardly remain in contact.even squad 5.some raise ideas of outings that remained ideas.kinda sad.the las outing was kinda meaningful cos we saw the beginning of the new yr and new life together.i rmb passing out parade.that memory of course was triggered when i saw the ncc mag article on CLT course in dec.all the CLTs in number one.how much like us except they had 12 days while we had about 20 days.i miss those times when we dont have to worry.when all we had to do is just hold on to hope and anticipate for the passing out parade.i rmb cursing those rehearsals cos they took a lota energy.i rmb the food incident where we all idled time away.we kinda bonded, helped each other out. i rmb a time when ppl actually talked and not regard each other as strangers.i rmbed even helping this person.i rmb making one mistake.i rmb hanging out.i rmb acting stupid.i rmb what is was to love someone.but now its all not important.cos they've become just memories.sometimes i look at that foto we posed in front of that structure we built and wondered if we had really been there.i rmb the mandy lashing that saboed squad 1's structure due to shift in structure for fun purposes and then squad one took our original and we took someother then we realised that mandy was tying the lashing wrongly...and then i look at my own uniform collecting dust.no more parades.training's become some chore.what have i become?
do not be mistaken.that i talk about this gal again doesnt mean i still have any inkling of feelings.i'd b a fool if i still do.oh well,from jan to may now, i've seen the effects of love.how its formed and how it gets broken.how it makes people just pathetic and i ask that same question"what do we mean when we love? how does true love exist in a place like our world?why do idiots rush into it like fools on a gold rush while others break down from it?" what the hell is meant by being fated to be?
imagine the power u gain from understanding this thing called love...
anyone got un chained melody by righteous brothers? its pretty darned nice
hoo i bought my girl and i vcd finally.its out!
escorted @ 12:55 AM;
Sunday, May 28
how about your mum
haha...trademark phrase for the week.specifically for yq.
week's been sibei sian.like wanna die liao.wth man...anyw i cant be bothered to talk about my week.only about a few things.
imagine what'd happen if i had joined ncc.hell, i woulda been one of the slackers man.the tho crossed my mind when i was reading my brother's the cadet 2005.and hell, ncc had so much to offer man.and i read this particular article about this guy who joined ncc, became CLT then even went on SAF scholarship to study....GEOG.come ack become some cool commander.inspiring man.if only things were so good....
scholarships.studies.stress.stolen.stephanie saw.cv pretty darned naked without ANY scholarships while our dear friend steph's getting ALL of em.omg, i feel like 0.0000000000000001% of that gal man.but then again,i'm unwilling to commit myself to go get some killer-good future.hell, welcome to the party of the apethics.sometimes or other u look at steph in envy of ALL THE DARNED GOOD STUFF SHE'S GOT.ARGHGHGHGHGHG!
can only set my sights on UNIVERSITY scholarships.that is if i can get in la.hell, i gotta study some arts man.science is too overwhelming.oh crap, i havent even decided what to do for future.like just anyhow whack for studies.oh man.chem test failed!whatver
got some cool letter to tell me register for NS like on thursday.bleahx.like totally...u can imagine my emotions man.its coming...soon.
and this week's been suan april week.we've done the forehead trick and the papparazi one.ho,too fun man.haha.esp for class outing yest.with X3.oh man...haha.funny funny.
some joker's been spreading some vicious rumour about some person and me.i'm gonna kill him when i find out who he is man.he nids some ass whupping.like how the hell am i linked with her.i dont even know her well.mother piece of crap.u're so so so gonna get it man.and that ass that even mentioned any kinda connection of me and her.its just plain stupid that ppl do this.maybe that sonofa... should grow up.lets hope i dont find out who he is...
ppl, joan chen of NUS architecture passed away this week.she has batttled tongue cancer for 2 yrs now and have fallen in her battle.tho i never knew her but i saw her article in ST christmas special and i was deeply touched by it.no mourning.no dark clothes.no tears.her last wishes.a sunshine gal that left our world.she provides much positivity for those who think life is sad.such an angel she is its hard to believe that she'd get cancer.but it happened and now, may her soul take its place with God and that her legacy will continue to live on.be positive about life.lets take time to pray for her family ya?
oh man.nex whole week's gonna be super busy.argh.shouldnt have signed up for so much stuff man.bleahx.
escorted @ 12:35 AM;
Sunday, May 21
late nights posting
hmmm the week has been pretty sad again.wth man...justd finished with my cas proposals.dang the file check man.i dunno what to put inside la.like how to get signatures man.
bio test- omg i forgot to attach the back part of the paper to the rest.and that might cost me ten marks.but i was pretty honest with myself.haha zero percent test wan cheat also like quite pathetic la.cos its meant to gauge where u stand.not insdie report book de.
business- hee man it was quite interesting.considering i had to mug so hard for those few questions.absolutely cheated of feelings.
chem test- THE WORST.omg i feel so injusticed to myself,i shoulda done better but i stoned at EACH question.oh man.its time for some hardcore practising.nid to get more practive books man.omg i gonna do the paper again.i'm sure i coulda done it better.
i've got a back log of work to do.chi and lotsa pracs and maybe more.oooh.cas is a scary thing.the schools' really cool la.cos they make u do this kinda thing.it trains ur skill to write proposal and make u reall step outa that lazy zone and work ur arse just for an activity.like making us grow up.i mean CIP is like pretty minute compared to now with all that reports we have to make.
currently resting from all that mugging.not that i deserve it la.but i'm tired.and npcc aint making me feel better.back's aching.metaphorically speaking.i seriously wan more time.like can there be less periods of chinese?!i wan less.it lengthens ur day and i'm seriously sick of doing chi practice nonstop.the teacher's excellent company la.but the work's not. and i got made afool in maths cos i was "wasting everyone's time".its not my fault man.i not a master at proving formulae.and i actually tried thinking but then i dunno what to do up there.oh man
group 4 project- heee kinda fun except the olive oil alil sick and the hair dye esp disgusting with all that colour and hydrogen peroxide.and ha i insist my hair is much healthier than steph's.HAHA
screw that mock iop man.i dunno what to do and i aint a single bit committed to doing it at all lor.how am i gonna even present it decently to ppl?like why do we nid to waste topics by doing mocks? its like killing ppl's chances of hitting topics. like "hey i got one!" its alr used for someone's mock.so sorry.too bad.d'oh.wastage wastage ah...
oooh here's someone must thank publicly.all fu zhou ppl should thank him.its gerard.our friend actually went to print out all the proposals print out like a set of notes for everyone to take.i dunno whether got cost or not but a normal thing to do is to send it via email. but our friend took the extra mile and that is truly touching man.c'mon lets give him some applause.gerard the man!
k i bought a tank cd.du chang qing ge is like super nice lor.omg its like ooooooh.and i seriously wanna buy a pair of shoes again.ah just tentative la.haha
aye tuesday a holiday.kinda wasted since its quite a nice day of lessons. they dont take black wednesdays or thursdays?dang...dang bored cooped up studying la.gonna enjoy this week.crap whatwith business report ideas and mock iops and backlog of pracs and chi hw.sure spoilers man.oooh math portfolio.how about i feel like skipping the whole week except monday and friday?
jokers that cant keep their mouths shut.divulging secrets and using viper tongues.watch out man.war's imminent.ur venom might just be sprayed back in ur face.dont take things too far.
escorted @ 1:24 AM;
Sunday, May 14
scary lil thing called love
ok, thats some weird title i chose. but ok the week has been crap man. as usual.p and c question absolutely undoable.minus marks.again steph gets super high and kuan meng is seriosly getting more and more irritating with his stupid comments.can he like just shut up or something?he tlaks damn extra la.wth man. and english test i feel kinda accomplished.cos i could see a second story witihn the poem.wowzers man haha.
thats about all.blogging kinda sad these days
anyw, i'm here to talk about procrastinators. i know of this particular person who keeps delaying time and doesnt give a damn about it all the time.damn man.i hate such ppl cos they waste time and my time too. and they have weird objectives have weird tastes in movies."...failed ratings" omg and he refuses to tell me stufff."...i know who likes xx...but i cant tell u.u go find out urself..."thats as good as not telling me anytihng at all man.what the crap.
many things i've seen this week.one of em is the scary power of love.it brings ppl up and crashes their nice lil feelings after that.breaking them into millions of pieces.it questions whether love is really a good thing or a bad thing?
oh man my com has gone thru hell and came back without all my nice pics and songs.ARGH.all lost.baskets....................
we bought a new dvd player(we didnthave an old one) and hey i can watch all my jap mtv.namely BoA and do as infinity and i noticed one trend in the two artists' videos.the mtvs all not plot.DAI is just playing the instruments and singing.and BoA is just dancing.sheesh.
k here's Do as Infinity's OASIS...abit rock so if dont like turn off ur vol
escorted @ 12:46 AM;
Sunday, May 7
if my words could be more
bleahx...life after oep, even more drag.like i so wanna stay in china la.at least there u dont have to study.baskets, come back to gd ol bonding and atomic theory, complex numbers and p&c...most horrid stuff of studies.ARGh i nid help with those man.crap man, i can totally feel my study self crumbling.i dunno why, i feel i may not make it thru IB.its just damn tiring.lab reports and blah blah blah.
studies- one of the biggest reasons why i gotta retire from npcc.yeah.i think i'm hanging up my full u for a long time.long term leave or something.nid to conc on studies.gonna skip the june camp to study.cant risk another nagging from my dad.he keeps saying i waste time in npcc.as if i have to dedicate ALL my time to studying.omg, i nid to die or something.there's so much to do in our unit.but i dunno where to begin.its like on the day of np day, they are waiting to see us fall.what the crap,ppl laugh at our uniforms.they mock us and think we're most probably shouldnt be considered a uniformed group.what the crap man.not that i could help it.that last yr we decided on wrong positions for leaders.that those "leaders" destroyed the unit.destroying our Gold.making us look so micro in the eyes of all.i dont see ppl sneering at ncc or sjab.and that damnable yong qiang muthabitch gotta learn to keep his mouth shut about insults of npcc.i seriously feel like giving him a tight slap.its not like we never try hard to improve our drill but some people think their time is better spent at home.if i try punish anyone, they'll get all demoralised.i feel like a darned negotiator dealing with terrorists.i'm not some STUPID OCT that keep drilling my cadets almost everyday with stretcher drill and foot drill.hell, our cadets not meant to take hardship.we should all just close down.i'm demoralised up to that point.then my peak cap can be an ornament in my house for good. i've lost passion.
npcc day- we rehearse like mad only to march in then it rains heavily.nobody gets to see our drill.w stand like fools.but the guest of honour was good.inluding his message.he reminded us of campcraft then.they got into the finals at that time.the better days we had.can muthu's uncle come back to our unit again?i heard he was pretty good in the 1997 times.but i say i was right in my selection of parade commander.regardless of thetalk that i let a sea cadet do it.he was damn GOOD.
yesterday, went acjc to meet bronson only to discover to my dismay, he had homework to do. so i stoned in there, saying hi to peng you that i knew in acsi.i saw bronson's monkey foto in a council campaign.haha.then we went kap to meet reuben in his darned badminton aftermath.saw wanxian and zelanie there.not surprising cos they always go there to "study". they're like how hardworking la.bleahx.then we met up with reuben.hee i bought a vcd.night watch.heard it got pretty bad ratings.but its darned cheap and i wanted to watch it then but felt not worth it to fork out money to watch the movie. at eunos, reuben went to buy his dinner then i went to wait at the bus stop and i saw charmaine.HAHA...she was escorting her friend out.then i was like" ur brother's buying dinner" haha...it was a tiring day. i carried two books to school that i didnt even read.damn heavy if add on my uniform and boots and peak cap.omg
life ah life,seems to be darned boring.it's like has no meaning for me now.like i cant seem to have afixed smile on my face.its like i'm lacking in many areas academically.i have no drive to do anything.seriously i feel darned lazy.i dunno what i wanna become.i've become some kinda agbala.soft all over.bleahx.what does the future hold for me?some people are so sure of everything they do.i'm not even sure of myself.something's missing but i dunno what it is.its like i can just die without knowing what is life.
just read finish two funky novels.one chi one eng.the chi one is about this gal who meets this guy and hooks up with him.then they break up.then she meets this new guy.she's almost gonna be with him then she got request from the guy's ex not to say yes.then she didnt.thenn her bf came back and asked to be back with her.happy ending.kinda dumb.the english one is even worse.about this boy who met a gal on the bus.they started to talk.she went his house.then they slept together.hewent US after that.came back to see her with some German dude.then he felt all broken.then she told him it shouldnt have been at all.he told her to call him.but when she did he never pick.bloody story ended with him not picking up the phone and saying "i love u" into the air.what the crap man....
haha lastly, council selection is up liao.i say, most of the rats didnt get it.but one or two sneaky ones managed to get in.but some good ones didnt get in too.alamak sia..but overall its good la.i hope some ppl wake up and know that its only their thick skin that's been feedin their imaginery ego.
bleah.pics from npday may be up next week.watch out for it.its like the only time u'll see me in full u.haha.sian man.some one give me an inspiring speech to relight my passion for npcc man.
escorted @ 1:44 AM;
