this is gonna be a last post. results came back.they're the reason why i cant use the com anymore.using it now in secret. i'm gonna become a no lifer.i doubt that's gonna help my grades
my future's condemned.i'd turn crazy and screw up my future.
sometimes i try to prove myself to my dad.but he never listens.he thinks it one way only.thats how i think too. i hope not to have kids.so that i dont pass on this horrible experience to a child that tries so hard to prove himself.i dont want this child to live in this world of misery. besides that, my life has no meaning now.its gone upside down.i cant begin to say.tears are welling up in my eyes.this catastrophic time is upon me.i dunno how i'm gonna survive it.
i can say i feel like committing suicide.but i'd stay on to see what life has in store for me. but my future? its a flat liner.goodbye good friends, its been great knowing you whether its been online or not.i cant go npcc anymore.i cant seem to do anything i like anymore.my dad thinks its for my good.but i cant see any brightness coming out from there....
Goodbye... i wont be contactable online.u havta sms me or call me...
escorted @ 12:23 PM;
Thursday, July 20
the calm before the storm
haha.my weeks been super shite. crap so fast know the maths marks.basket.our class maths standard really low.and i am super ashamed of myself for getting such a grade for myself.too careless...
and my bio lost 2 marks for MCQ.ARGHGHGH
and all the periods are like wrong in the timetable.makes all students suffer really painfully.like i know alota research has been put into making sucha nice timetable but are they doing it correctly.if its for our own good, then why are we sleeping in class?i mean there are certain times of the day when i wish i brought something up from the SAC to keep myself awake.and wazzup with the 1 h 40 mins periods for HL? dont they know its really a pain even with 1 hour 20 mins.of course its a personal point of view.but i aint really absorbing much in class cos after an hour i get really sian of the lesson.i fall asleep after that.for HL sciences i can accept the fact for pracs la.but for periods like maths? its just painful practising nonstop. after the first hour.man, the timetabling committee must really find out the demands from the pupils before deciding to craft another time table.cos from what i see, its just sufferring put at different times of the day only.and i swear theres an hour foty minute period splitted up in a day.
and then there's the super presentaion week.man, i tell you.somehow the teachers seem to know that we're knida indecisive about the EE topic and business report topic.week 6.the week of presentations.EE presentaion is not really necessary and business one is not really big.but the EE one i havent even got a topic.i've got two weeks to formulate one.in between there's chinese oral.some random gayness add on to it and there's the time to prepare an d formulate.
tomoro's the day of horrors.but oh well, its all predetermined by ur doings
escorted @ 9:21 PM;
Saturday, July 15
now two dogs are gone
oh man...my other dog has passed away.he was hunted by the bigger one.and i guess, play time got too rough and an old man can only take that much injury.
and the irony is that this morning when i left the house he was even peeking into the house and stepping into the house like he forgot house rules.and then i come back and the bad news hits me.
oh well, today has been a really demeaning day.the CIP is really sad sad sad.its FLAG DAY thingy.firstly, the t shirt has a really nice design but abit dark coloured and limited in size?
then was the asking for donations.so many DAMNED competitors.two or three org in the same day.wth man.lui wanyi and i were like actually trying to fight em in terms of business.some weird coloured school uniform had the temerity to go fight with us.i mean if u wanna do one area u stay around there dont move into our territory.dots, oh well i still found a nice money spot.haha... oh man, wanyi and lui are seriously too much.shall not say the nightmarish things they do...
tomoro its another day.ARGH...super sianz...
escorted @ 10:25 PM;
Friday, July 14
limitations
feel super free today... woke up late.and went school for npcc.i say limitations to the unit are a-plenty.number one, i dunno how do u actually go teach ALL the essentials of rifle drill in 45 mins when ur cadets aint even confident enough to pass through the rusok stage.haiz...secondly, the squad was kinda divided.quite unproductive.people gave the weakest excuses.argh...the split shows so fast. this prejudice must stop man.
oh well, managed to rush home in time for smallville.it was kinda weird episode.clark got his powers back.some joker tried to launch a nuke at smallville.or rather he succeeded in launching it.clark kent got shot in the process of stopping the joker.he dies really quickly and gets his powers back.lionel luthor moves at super speed.clark runs super fast and then attempts to fly onto the nuke.blew up the war head in space.comes back down to meet his parents and lana lang.man, for a person he sure knows how to put people thru hell and back.some kinda miraculous resurrection they'd say.look at lana lang's eyes in that transient moment.they move from tragic sadness, to surpries then shock then joy.and the episode was kinda short.ARGH...by ten minutes
tomoro got some funky CIP thingy.hha.gonna busy in the weekend.
escorted @ 10:02 PM;
some thing to watch
this is a video of the SYF march past.if u hear closely, u get to hear jia hoong and mandy's names being mentioned.once again, applause for em...
escorted @ 12:46 AM;
Thursday, July 13
Battle's Over
okok, firstly, with the paper, for one thing, studying for that paper is super sian.cos its like common sense put into chim words.oh well its kinda good that i know my stuff.the only thing is that we weren't really sure of our marketing syllabus,so dunno what to study.i have to seriously apologize to steph saw for telling her the wrong thing NOT to study.i'm telling you not giving us the past yr papers is simple unforgiving man.so well, steph asked me if market segmentation should be studied. i remembered ms dorton telling us "no" so i quoted her and told steph no.guess what man? ONE of the questions in the paper was on that.FOUR questions choose three.since dunno one question its must do the other 3 liao.so i kinda incapacitated her.i can only say...oops! sorry!
now that the paper's over, there's only the RESULTS to sit and wait and die for.i cant bear to go see my chem and math marks man.two HL subjects become goners.ARGH...next friday sia.its gonna be pain.would i even have the courage to face that day and THEN go for squad outing the next day? man that's a good question.
oh well, wasted alota time today after finished the paper.walk around with mark.then went town.he wanted to look for converse shoes.so i went with him lor.and i saw this super nice pair that i saw online selling at super low price! i was like "WHOA!" haha.poor mark couldnt get his size cos they only had max of size 6 or 7 for the models he wanted.damn jia lat.haiz.then ran from far east to plaza sing cos he was late for his movie thingy.then left lor...
ah...finally, to the blog war.clement, whoever you are,i dunno you.i dont want to know you and i seriously do not hope for you to even look or talk to me.you are shame to your rank your organisation your school your church your ITE college your family and friends.by engaging in such childish activities like flaming a blog, it shows much of your maturity and i certainly raise my eyebrow at the fact that you are a year older than me.if someone does not want to listen to you, nothing u do can help you catch his attention. u do such things and say such nonsense, i think there should be a limit to the extent of your words. Firstly, i dont listen to stupid logic.call me unreasonable.call me cocky.its just plain stupid that u think i disgrace the NCC when i hold them in high regard.u think your uniform is everything, but its whats in the heart.your logic is simply stupid.i did not wish to follow up.i tried telling you, but u took it in some unpleasant way.instead of lashing outwards, look inwards first.you and your brand of friends( God forbid if there's more than one person who thinks like you!)i told you i took this uniform pictures as part of recreation and also to feel and see what it feels like to be in green.apparently u took it the wrong way, due to your genetically inherited narrow point of view.i dont blame you.you cant help it.i totally understand that.and hey, this is my blog, i speak what i want on my own blog.i do not live for your insignicant approval neither do i seek to follow your irrational rules.and if u cant deal with people saying "no" to you, go see a shrink cos life is full of people like that and i am one of that. look at where you stand and look at where i stand.you forget your place when u tell me what to do.i certainly do not like to lash out at you like that but you started it first by insulting my schoo's NCC units even.i dont mean to sound arrogant but i think its time you know what you really are.your behaviour classifies you as a social outcast.please try to be realistic, know where you stand.and if you doubt the quality of my school's NCC units, let's see you try to achieve getting all 3 gold awards... lastly, to you and your lousy brand of friends that started this war, please grow up.get outa your ivory tower.its time to wake up to life.
escorted @ 11:01 PM;
Wednesday, July 12
ONE MORE PAPER!!!
whoo hoo...one paper down, one more paper left.
three days of mugging nonstop for a bio paper.i have to thank the bio dept for being so kind and giving me hope again.cos i almost lost it from the last two HL papers.mcq was completed in 15 mins.surprised myself actually,i was like WHOA! so i decided to do the paper a second time to double check.haha lucky i did,cos there were two unforgivable errors.oh well, the first question was the killer one.something about the history of the CELL THEORY.i was like "HUH?".and dang, it was SUPER loud in the audi.hey i didnt know u cant see prokaryotes under a light microscope. paper 2 -allostery.HAHA..i wonder how many ppl didnt study that.but it felt totally cheating.cos studied alota stuff and so lil stuff on genetics was tested.oh well...
the worst thing is...yong qiang saying that the paper waste time to mdm yong.oh man, its like how mean lor.they put thru so much effort to help us and he go and say waste time.he's got some butt head mouth that he cant control man...
oh well business is like super sian.must study super drag and long while all the econs ppl in my class all grown wings.its like a super drag man.
meanwhile, i've got some more pics.HAHA...
escorted @ 12:03 AM;
Monday, July 10
Words from a Clown
"Please remove those photos of you in the NCC uniform from your Friendster account.
Although I don't know you on a personal level, but I just feel it's really disrespectful for somebody who's not in NCC, to be wearing the NCC uniform - it kinda portrays a picture that you're disgracing the NCC.
I believe you'd feel likewise, if a NCC personnel wears the NPCC uniform, poses for the camera and puts it on the internet.
I've found my way to your blog, and seem to hold NPCC as high as I do to NCC. So please respect the uniform, the rank, etc, and remove those photos.
I hope there's an understanding..."
Good job with the Engrand.keep it up.speak Good engrand ok?considering u're one with the folk.
and seriously, i respect NCC alot...
oh man, day's been spent hearin my mum scream and shout.like wth man, menopause?i dont have to sit thru this y'know?day after day of irrational reasoning. with my brother not helping by getting defiant.
how many times much ppl go and be told that right and wrong in this world is kinda blurred? that no matter how DAMNED self-righteous u are,the only way u're getting is a circle.in the end, u are at the same spot.
was going thru bio just now, and i realised that sickle cell anaemia is a dominant allele when u talk about it in low pressure and selective advantage over malaria people.cos the gene is still expressed like half half.hence the mozzies dont attack u if u've got sickle cell.but then the ones who bring the new generation are the heterozygous ones.means the allele is dominant in this case.and the reason why it causes ur blood cell to be so crappy is cos glutamic acid is a polar substance and valine is nonpolar.work out the science and chem and u'd know why its a pain in the butt for sickle ppl to work out.
enuf about bio,my b&m is screwed man...my bio is like maverick.and i'm here blogging.cos i seriously got tired of studying.thank God for the World Cup holiday for yr 5s.ONE more day of super revision and i'm all set.haha...ok not really.i nid some super fast working brain now.
oh man mark, i got this super nice lyris for a song in my head.i'd give ya after common tests.haha.its about twits.
escorted @ 1:11 AM;
Sunday, July 9
i had a bad week
its been a bad week firstly, my math portfolio got too average a grade.
secondly, my chem got killed singlyhanded man.like i studied it and all but i still screwed it up cos of TIME.oh man.with that it means alota ppl are gonna be on top of me and i'm gonna hate it.i'm about to just give up on life like that.
thirdly, my math was killed with one finger cos i didnt do the last question.which was giveaway too bad...ARGH
TELL ME WHAT IS MISSING?!WHAT?!
i tell u the intensity of fear for my bio paper is so intense i could just feel like giving up totally. seems no matter how much i study cant seem to score...
next up,i'm giving a reply to this nice NCC guy on friendster who sent me this nice greeting message
i'm telling you.i took those photos outa recreation.i had every single piece of respect within my being for the NCC.i think to say that i am not showing respect for the NCC is pretty far fetched cos i have a brother in NCC and i value the stuff he teaches me even at his current rank.this kinda stuff no one really bothers.you dont see me tearing up the uniform or treating with much abuse do u?i only took those photos outa recreation but not to spoof the NCC.in fact i said it was fictional.if someone did the same thing with the npcc uniform but then not with disrespect i wouldnt say anything.maybe u should re-evaluate your values and see if the uniform is all that matters to u.its the heart.
and pardon me if i sound all childish, but i don't really conform to what people tell me to do.it doesnt matter if you sound solemn or try to sound big, i'm not in the mood to go through my nice photos and then delete.call me a wanna-be if u want,so far its only been u who'd told me to remove em.ALL my ncc friends are fine with it.the only explanation i can hypothesize from your request is that u think NPCC is below NCC and consider it an insult that an NPCC cadet officer dons the uniform of a cadet officer with equivalent rank in NCC.sorry, no can do.and i certainly cant seem to see it from your point of view.and if u seriously cant seem to deal with it, it sure aint my fault, i say go see a shrink.and if u aint happy with that and wanna take it up another level, i'm telling u dont.its not worth it fighting for such a cause.but anyway, just to make u happy, i'd remove all except the main profile one on my friendster cos it looks to good to remove.
PS: to cut the bullshit, i dont listen to the request of TWITS nor self-righteous ppl who think it wrong that ppl pose in some uniform.maybe army uniform i reconsider la.hell, i dont mean any kinda disrespect to the uniform i pose in.and i've seen ppl done worse with it.so for the record, PISS OFF TWIT...
oh speaking of NCC, i found a pic of yuan ruo and chu hua in his nice collection of pictures.kinda surprising.51ST batch eh?
escorted @ 1:03 AM;
Monday, July 3
call to arms
its time... battle is upon us and i'm still halfway dressed in battle gear with my rifle far from my reach.magazine not switched to universal round and parts not assembled.helmet lost in some pile of stuff,suddenly realised battle is upon us, like a most unbecoming of an ex ns man, i sigh and curse at having to go for battle.ok all our NS men in the country dont exhibit such attitude.what i just said was just an analogy of my feelins regarding the common tests and how "prepared i am"
i wrote some poem.but decided not to show it here.maybe u ask to see la.sorry mark, its not appropriate song stuff man.haha.
gosh can they just cancel the common TEST?! its like super looming pressing on me.our school shoulda been the marching contingent in the civilian march.then NO NID TO SIT FOR TESTS HAHA! SYFOC ah SYFOC...i miss it so much alr.the hype and fun and high-ness ofeveryone.i'm still angry at the two sea unit CI pioneers.backside boys.
u know i just realised what jokers we humans are for holding on the materialism of the world.money money money and more money.tell me what u want so much of that for? nice car?what does that bring u? chicks that u most definitely won't marry cos they're too shallow if they dig big cars or nice cars rather.big house?what the hell u nid to much breathing space for? why everybody thinks that these are riches when they're not?the real riches lie in Heaven.i dunno if there's a milo water cooler like what bronson hopes it to have.salvation man. O Tailor of paths, let us walk down the same lane once more.whatever it is,its all in Your hands.tho i hope it so. there doesnt seem to be any kind of break through or communication path between us man.feels like being under some ice surface trying to break through.crap man...
STUDY HARD AH.hurry up and switch ur magazine to UNIVERSAL ROUND.must keep firing...
escorted @ 1:47 AM;
Sunday, July 2
back to school+ gd ol SYF
wad do u know? its the start of school liao.started with a blast of student coucil invest.what can i say? sun wukong couldnt get out of buddha's five fingers no matter how much he whack or run around.
second thing:i seriously would love to thank dr ong man.all our super sports which got silver and bronze awards like our magnificent rugby team b division, he did not really mention those.instead he chose to announce our NPCC UOPA to the whole school PLUS some honoured guests.man i feel seriously touched by his expectations of our unit and his pride in us despite our achievements so far.the fact that he'd mention us instead of the sports champs tells us much about his pride in us.totally flattered.my only regret is that the school took it the wrong way and saw it as dr ong trying to suan us.hey come on man, dr ong's a good man.he wouldnt do such things, yknow.
week passes by so fast.and i saw a left handed electric yesterday! omg, there's some humanity left in this world.too bad it cost few thousand bucks.screw that swee lee sale cos i aint got enuf money and time to pay for the half price and wait so long to pay.money man.and whats more, my guitar not good enuf to get an electric.oh well,there's still my faithful acoustic that i painstakingly restrung
SYF!!! killer of my study time.but i still went.thanks to gd ol power of volunteerism.i sent an email to mdm yeo about the common tests.guess what came back, a email asking if the details for the nominal roll is correct.no choice then.and the biggest irony is that the SEA UNIT doesnt get it.thinking those two were thinking more for their backsides than their unit, they were forgiven( ok to some extent of muthu calling me an asshole and whining about me being all spastic for reminding mr lai about the volunteer email)oh second irony, we were the only ones from area 16 at the event.i repeat we were the only ones there form area 16.sorry i aint talking about those two jokers that claim they same area as us cos i sure didnt see their names.i only saw three clowns: muhd fadhli masri, chua yi yong bronson and lee ji yang sean.then i seriously wanted to hit the last name esp when i heard this event could be ponned( the fact that they thanked us for coming down means its actually self will based decisive volunteerism) so i accepted this hard fact of life.then ncc guys and gals came in.then bb CLTs came in.ok the ncc guys and gals were CLTs too la.then NCDCC( what a mouthful) CLTs came in too.ok thats not impt, at least got some ppl in the same well as us npcc warriors( word missing before "warriors" ten points if u get it now) number one crime: not remembering ur own squad mate's face even when she waves at us so frantically. bronson and i were wondering why this michelle lookalike was waving at us cos we couldnt really recognise her then we realised it was her like 2 hours later( this isnt sarcastic, its the real time frame)oh well at least i had someone to talk to after bronson decided to go eat durians at his family gathering. oh and i saw jimmmy again.this time he saw me and that look on his face was super million dollar momment.wonder what he's gonna say to my brother on friday. so our duty started: sign boards.providing 4 ncc gals with plasters for their heels(ay thats one man,i insist.cos there wasnt much to do) part time ushers, target of time wasting.MEETING TWO AREA 16 CIs IN PLAIN CLOTHES. seriously lui and muthu, u two sea fools should just take ur cap and peak cap and number 3 for both sea and land plus ur belts and boots(both kinds too) and chuck it to make a fire.make that sea one extra crispy.two pieces of shit that are so afraid of their uniform in sea that they call it field dress.where u do it for rough and tough.the land one for parades.if i ever suck in any kind of bullshit like that one ever, someone hit me in the face.i saw 2 sea unit CIs proud to wear their SEA uniform there.crap, u might as well burn ur own npcc spirit with them to make a bigger fire.work dress field dress lampa dress g string.whatever ok? call it whatever u want, u aint hiding the fact that u are afraid of being the SPECIAL sea unit.and wearing that uniform makes u look outstanding.even ur own teachers wear that SEA one and u two jokers can try to be jokers.go join NCC or NCDCC la.they have those kinda PROPER field dresses or g string or lampa dress... back to 2 CIs in plain clothes.kenneth lui and wanyi.and i thought he was thinking of his backside when hesaid he couldnt go.i didnt know he was thinking of a PROMISE.AHHHH, the backside aint important now.wadeva... watched the parade.have to say i am proud of jia hoong and mandy for having come so far in their CI life.HAHA.wantd to take a picture with them but they decided to be unsung heroes and disappeared.i also saw sam kwan, the famed one from the ncc mag. russell indran, marcus sia,batchmates,and more people.i also saw a disgraceful NCDCC CADET.he's not fit to be called NCO.shall be direct, its sherwin tay the loser.how about i couldnt hear what stupid alien language he was talking and then he said i wouldnt understand.like i'm so close to him eh?
the answer ur question CI= sai kang warriors.we're proud of it and we do our duties without a complaint.after some useful time spent standing around doing nothing, maybe talk to michelle( or i'd get bored to death with so many unknowns there) catch up with old times.and then it was time to zhao home.
