ok this is kinda inauspicious number for a posting.but i probably won't be posting much shtick after this. probably when all the common tests are over and I'm all embittered with excuses of "shite i coulda done better but _____" fill in the blank
ok the TV's playing some chao gay show called anna magdelena.i'm not saying that cos it's a love show but the plot is damn weird.you'd probably get a headache trying to understand what's going on. well i guess the good thing of the show is lover's concerto by kelly chen. played to the tune of that bach song.
haha.today (i'm not really proud to announce this) but i shoved the finger in the face of a rude driver who clearly had enough time and space to brake but blared his horn when i crossed in front.man the horn should only be used when alerting others not when you feel like it.
one thing i don't get at all is what people actually see in that song "umbrella".for one thing, the tune is irritating and it goes into loop. "...ella ella ella ay ay ay"
revisiting the past...presenting a song i remembered like way way long ago.
Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics I Been down and I'm wondering why
These little black clouds keep walking around with me, with me
Waste time and I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile but be free, all free
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
I look around at a beautifiul life
I been the upper side of down; been the inside of out but we breathe, we breathe
I wanna a breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean, wanna take my time for me, all me
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home
absolutely pleasant.some kinda tune that strikes you in the soul.heh...
escorted @ 1:39 AM;
Friday, June 22
Apologies
what is this feeling that creeps up upon you as you study as you take a nap
the cold chill of the wind one moment its hot another a gentle caress as it comes through a window
yesterday it rained today it burned then it chilled and the sky darkened
this bitter feeling, it swells up in your throat and in your soul pain that fills your heart but yet not a sensory perception
confusion, ever so evident the influx of emotions i ask myself this question is this called "regret"?
intoxication only bred delusion while dopamine brought false hope feelings killed the friendship at the end of the day, i still lose
through the shade of the night i follow the light at the end to come across another lamp only to find daylight when it's too late
my watch strap lay there, tattered it's almost broken, almost torn if i could reverse time, make it brand new i would not have done such foolish things
forget the sins i've committed disbelieve the words i've mentioned they lay buried in the past where lies were seemingly truths
at this point of time, when everything lies in ruins and self-pity reigns here i think this no longer applies to you but i really mean it when i say "i'm sorry"
getting cooped up at home never does good for my state of being.but it sure states my confused emotions as i struggle to study.
escorted @ 1:32 AM;
Sunday, June 17
Rainy weather
hmmm... the weather's been kinda cool these days.
Thank God! Rain, it's been some time. sheesh
how nice it is to hear the howl of the wind with its cool caress on your skin with the gloom outside the windows and heaven starts to open the flood gates
I saw God's covenant yesterday a bridge of colours in the sky a miracle of creation, beauty of nature there she goes again
bright sun shining overhead a slight drizzle drops on your head hardly noticeable, temperature hardly lowered sky darker, the wind getting stronger
finally, a downpour while i see a sun on another side of the sky blowing hot and burning cold our environment's turned out this way
hurry, close the...no wait, stop I think i'd just prefer to stand here admire the artwork of the falling stalks like flowers with no heads
finally the chill of the wind comes again standing with my arms wide open the feelings of forever fill my soul i wish it'd never leave
rain, rain, please don't go away
was listening to muse.kinda alternative music. a buncha brilliant musicians. good rocking beats in each song mann.but kinda dark-ish tones
am i blogging too much? i think i am relaxing.which is not good, cos i just realized a new trend that broke out in the recent papers of math. couldnt do like 4 questions.or my answers don't exactly correspond to the answer key.shitez
about that brick factory slavery...it got me appalled beyond words. that some people are still living in the past. in a country so advanced like that one too! what next? a lost kingdom? by the way those slave drivers oughta be punished severely.like crush their hip bones, split about 4 ribs and shatter the collar bones, then make them work in their brick factory. ok i was just being sadistic.but they're bastards for taking advantage of the large population.dumb butts
bah! only one week left. i haven't even started on my nervous systems and behavioural sciences.
phooi!
escorted @ 2:15 AM;
Saturday, June 16
Nostalgia
man, i dunno how many times i have used this title of a post
i came across moonie's blog and she was talk about something about time. it made me wonder about how fast we're moving in our times.the song "stolen" comes to mind again.somehow it just leaves me all kinda missing the old times man
alright lets go a quick trip through
i remember from primary school to secondary school, i went into ACS I from TNS which was i wanted to go despite all the high expectations from my parents (thank goodness to the limitation of the PSLE score)
i entered this school with absolutely zero knowledge of what to expect. indeed, i thought NPCC Land was this really cool cca.boys in blue then really appealed more to me than in any other colour like green, white, etc etc etc. so i joined that cca and it was quite good then.like a darned noob i didn't understand why i had to observe strict discipline. those were the days that we'd do dumb stuff like talk about girls rather immaturely (i'm not saying i actually talk about em MATURELY now) i rmbed borrowing that funky graphic bible from the library outa interest but ended up converting to Christianity( i say convert cos i didn't know what was called accepting Christ) but i actually started meaning prayers and getting touched by Jesus' act
then sec two I was totally misguided by teenage angst. kinda bad.but still i passed through prefect's selection.ok in retrospect i wanted to join cos of the tie and blazer (SORRY !) there was also the hot thing of Pre-IB. like almost every body wanted to join it and it involved alota weird procedures. i also remembered rejoining tkd, got a poom and participated in tournaments. still, fighting with angst never gets you anywhere.
in sec 3, i was busy filling out my duties as a prefect acting like some kid with new power.but it still grew on me.i dunno why...i started doing this "let's go get as many investitures as possible" ho they were some weird experiences. i also remember the betrayal.when hatred started. i was also seriously slacking in that pre-IB program, not knowing the direction to go.and of course i started this blog, it was actually inspired by another person, that day on the bus. dunno if it was meant to happen or what, but it sure started a whole lota changes within me.
in sec 4, i started the year in depression. ho i loved LDP man. burning all your pimples to a crisp and submarine canoes.climbing genung lembak.and i started filling out my subconded role in NPCC, losing the rank. becoming a senior prefect just felt...kinda nice? my favourite phrase in 4.11 was "be more discreet" yeah, sack me if you want la. i remember that taekwondo match on rugby finals day. we were all too sian from a free period and just decided to hold one outa entertainment.yeah sack me again.rui xiang was good with the moves.haha.cos my moves were still governed by teenage angst.i was in a revolution of angst.then CIBTC came and gone like that.time that passes so slowly at first became times we wanted to last (ok because the year was about to start also la) i remember misjudging a person's personality for the first time. well it just meant something...
that in year 5 i started the year not so enthusiastically. even though it was orientation.i was trying to actually prevent those negativity from reaching my OG, but i dunno...there was the excitement about the girls.and all kinds of stupid talk which i myself was involved in as well.then there were the mini-crushes before i decided to just get hostile.well ok, i was still governed by angst...i dunno. but i tried to turn off the "heat seeker" as quoted.we did crazy shit laast year mann.and i rmb my christmas sucked cos of my brother
ok now then in year 6.no more depressing start.hoho.finally...until i realized something within me.sheesh, talking about like that even when i'm still recovering.kind of weird.it was something i never wanted to take action about.but i did something in pure intention as a friend and got my ass busted.and so dies a friendship with my subsequent acts of desperation.with one causing more trauma than the other ( am i sounding like i'm pouring self pity over my head?) but one good thing came out of it.the angst that have been driving me is gone. i dunno how real pain is but i'm experiencing a whole influx of sensations.frankly, i hate this feeling cos it's so familiar. we've only got four months left? the future is so unknown.but time sure moved fast.i don't miss me but i'd miss old school life.
idunno( for the umpteenth time) but i've come a long way from a caveman to a subcaveman.
time, please move a little slower or at least move my mind a little faster, cos i have a solid pressing reason now, that is...i haven't completed bio YET!! arghghgh.
haha, i saw jocelyn yesterday at junction 8.hey i recognised her, my memory not so bad after all yeah?
and the study session today...kinda disappointing.although we covered many topics, but MANY people were missing. i know it's TGIF but you lil pricks are taking it too easy mann.kinda pissed off.KH SLEEPING/JET LAG. LEON owning his odac friends at bowling with his one arm tactic. michael doing what he does best. zhong se qing you. MARK.ARGGHGHGHGGH...i wanna hit you for just dropping out like that.sheesh man, today was so productive and you just didn't feel like coming.wth man!
twits never grow up.i was a witness to that today when so many of them sat next to us in the hours of study.and i'm gonna hit that cleaner for interrupting my train of thought when solving a question.man, bloody she-thing oughta know the priority that my answer to the question is more important than what she had to say.ok i was just kidding about it but it annoyed me when i was just getting the answer that i had to leave cos of her nagging. i think there's something about me that can't stand her talking to me in that tone.KFC should do some quality control of their cleaners man...
it's just another day....do, do, do do do...it's just another DAYYYY...paul mccartney
of torture and wat not.
a link in time, a figment of memory, all undone by a foolish passion.if i could turn back the clock, i'd punch my old self in the face.how to repair a friendship that's lost????
escorted @ 1:11 AM;
Friday, June 15
Ills of Society
alright today i'm gonna speak of one irksome thing
talking about the trend: lately, if you have been reading the forum (no i don't specially tune into other people's whines and groans all the time), there have been a spate of interesting letters regarding entry into the universities. this special one caught my attention among some more so i'm just gonna comment on it without trying to sound like an elitist.
ok, listen up. the parents of students who are trying to apply for medicine, the only thing that you are ever gonna accomplish is that you're leaving those professors a really "good" impression of your child. (cue:nobody likes a whiner, even worse a parent compaint) when your kid can't get into this wonderful course cos of his lousy pw grade, please spare the world some agony, and keep your disgruntled opinions of the admissions system to yourself. this system has been around for so many years and it is only due to this huge influx of births (read: kiasu dragon babies) in that particular year that there no enough places in the university. the only solution that this problem is ever gonna have is more places per course. even then, please don't come to the newspaper, blaming the system for your son/daughter's own personal faults. to have a bad grade for PW says much about your offspring's attitude towards sub curricular activities. it is certainly non-academic, but your offspring seems to have some really laxed attitude towards it. of course, there's the unfairness of lousy team mates and funky marking systems, but i'm not gonna go on that. the fact that your child scored so bad in project work, shows that he allowed the teachers room for faults. i thought you're supposed to have the attitude to do your best in these stuff. well i guess i'm wrong.
another thing, not everyone who wants to be a tiger can become one. in life, there has to be a social hierachy. if your child is not meant for it, don't push so much. perhaps there is a better purpose outside medicine? you don't know. sometimes it just really confounds me that people wana become doctors cos of prestige more than anything else. Singaporean dream. if everyone were to become doctors, who's gonna become the underneath? do you truly think that becoming a doctor is the end of your troubles? i thought it is the start of another journey. frankly, doctors should have the desire to save lives. have it in them to correct the wrongs wrought by diseases or bodily disorders.and it should be something they're passionate about( meaning even no consultation also can).those who wanna be doctors cos they've wanted to be since young ("when i grow up i wanna be a doctor" and then "i'm aiming for medicine") are truly shielded by the eggshell of shelter. you dunno much about other options but you're just gunning for that. those who wanna be doctors cos daddy mummy are or daddy mummy want you to be, try to grow a backbone and start having your OWN beliefs. i'm gonna be blunt about this cos i'm sick of hearing people talk about entering medicine in my own class and now some parents are unhappy with the system and start troubling the papers and questioning the system. it's tried andtested, proven success for many years, changing it might cause some serious damage. think of the country instead of your dear son/ daughter entering medicine ONLY. what can your child contribute to the country or Mankind by being a doc? if you're hounding for the limelight, there're many ways to be there.don't take the hardest science way by aiming for medicine.
in life there're disappointments and dreams. if you have no dreams (cue loser), you have no disappointments. like me, i'm keeping my options open.but def not a doctor cos i don't have it in me to go "code blue code blue!" or you can be the other loser who holds on to a dream a little too tightly, even though it's never gonna come true. you either move on or you move out.STOP BLAMING THE SYSTEM for crying out loud! maybe if doctors were to be unable to charge consultation above 100 bucks, maybe it wouldn't be such a hot profession. to me, i think it is a noble cause to be able to save lives. too bad i don't have such capacity ( no it doesn't mean i'm meant to be the smaller under the foot) but i think those who have it should be the only ones who wield it. if you're aiming to find fault with me cos i speak no logic, chances are you're probably a parent or you're one of those delusional "I wanna go medicine or i'll die and i dunno why i wanna go but i must" people
of course i sound so objective here, i oughta get shot.but damn, it's a cruel world mann.not everybody gets their cake and eats it.love it, hate it, it's life, but we always learn from it.
escorted @ 1:58 AM;
Tuesday, June 12
Lazy
Stolen by Dashboard Confessionals
We watch the season Pull up it’s own stakes And catch the last weekend Of the last week Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced Another sun soaked season fades away
You have stolen my heart You have stolen my heart
Invitation only Grant Farewells Crash the best one Of the best ones Clear liquor and cloudy eyed Too early to say goodnight
You have stolen my heart You have stolen my heart
And from the ballroom floor We are in celebration One good stretch before our hibernation Our dreams assured and we all Will sleep well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well Sleep Well Sleep Well
you have stolen my you have stolen my you have stolen my heart
Watch you spin around In the highest heels You are the best one Of the best ones We All Look Like We Feel
you have stolen my you have stolen my you have stolen my heart
drums are really nice for this song.pleasant beat but maybe a tad too mild.
NS medical today. people there are quite...i dunno how to describe it.famous phrase
"read the instructions and follow". i got to catch tak keet's sexy upper body man. i didn't know he was doing same time as me.heh. but the chest X-ray part was kinda weird.i wanted to look for lst instruction and confirm that i just needed to walk out of the room, then it looked like i was trying to check out the guys in the room.damn, everyone had that look in their eyes.man, i'm like terribly embarrassed la.
escorted @ 12:31 AM;
Sunday, June 10
kinda funky version of the song
escorted @ 2:22 AM;
Saturday, June 9
You're Remembered
by the way.. Ricky, Happy Birthday...
some random birthday reminder that caught my eye.awroight.
back to one more time of "...come fill my little world, right up right up right up".
did i say the piano really sticks out in the music? kinda cool for them to be using piano so extensively.
okok if i'm wrong about the critique about the music, pardon me, i don't exactly take music nor have been known to have the best of music tastes...
d'oh saturday.torture period
escorted @ 1:44 AM;
Desire...
alright, it's not that big. and based on my budget, this looks like the next phone i wanna get.yeah, heck that cybershot phone. this one has the twin camera, better than capturing it live. and it looks like my old phone in a way. absolutely lovely, this phone allows you to blog, which is kinda nice cos i don't have to go online to do so. oh well, just have to wait for the next plan in the family to upgrade.sheesh, i'm actually hankering after material possessions like this. and it's not cos my phone's lagging (it's just an excuse although it's true, damned thing took so long to process my button pressing even accidentally calling someone in the process) but rather, i just love it.and i could use a software upgrade for phone usage. hopefully, it wouldn't gimme a bleeding nose trying to figure this function from the next.the WHITE ONE...k618i.
i'm hooked on sony ericsson phones cos nokia producing some really funky expensive ones, so's samsung (slim ones)...
alright, enuf of that mooning after a phone.back to serious work.oh man, i still have the entire human body to study...i'm spending too much time on biology already.i oughta smack myself for just simply refusing to sit down and study properly and i'm seriously getting bored with maths in the afternoon.my trigonometry sucks real bad man.
"...right up right up right up..." listening to the feeling's Fill My Little World. they're a really funky band that produced some pop/rock from UK. i didn't really like em when i first em on Live from Abbey Road until they played I Love It When You Call. Rose kinda put me off, as i was waiting for The Killers to come up after them.but their music really grew into me. and lyrics are like seriously silly, maybe they're like some modern mini beatles (nobody could compare to them man), but it's good mann.
alright now onto another song that i found on youtube
First Time by Lifehouse
We're both looking for something We've been afraid to find It's easier to be broken It's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath For once in my life I'm scared to death I'm taking a chance letting you inside
I'm feeling alive all over again As deep as the scar under my skin Like being in love, she said, for the first time Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right where I belong with you tonight Like being in love to feel for the first time
The world that I see inside you Waiting to come to life Waking me up to dreaming Reality in your eyes
Looking at you, holding my breath For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside
I'm feeling alive all over again As deep as the scar under my skin Like being in love, she said, for the first time Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right where I belong with you tonight Like being in love to feel for the first time
We're crashing Into the unknown We're lost in this But it feels like home
I'm feeling alive all over again As deep as the scar under my skin Like being in love, she said, for the first time Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right where I belong with you tonight Like being in love to feel for the first time
Like being in love she said for the first time Like being in love to feel for the first time
new single off their soon-to-be released album.feels kinda afternoonish but the drums are quite nice. i liked em ;-P
back to work. oh dreadful life! studying alone is a serious woe but studying in a group kinda undermines efficiency (Sorry! that kap session wasn't really productive. maybe parkway'd be good)
SHEN! STOP SAILING FOR TWO WEEKS ALREADY!! the east is needing a study partner at parkway.
escorted @ 1:16 AM;
Wednesday, June 6
Wednesday
day 3 of study boot camp. I've still got no luck moving faster. I haven't covered trigonometry and of course I've not moved much since the last time.shitez
Ok, Tuesday(yesterday) was this serious psychometric analysis exercise, which was kinda irritating. the administrator had this weird accent that sometimes slurred her speech making some simple words seem to sound complicated.she also had this bunch of abrupt pauses like English wasn't her first language. anyway, I probably got pissed off with the test cos I didn't complete some parts. 2 outa 3 parts weren't complete. my reasoning kinda warped, so yeah, it probably showed there. add on the personality test and I'm probably some mega psycho-to-be. erpz no la...
then we went studying at KAP. it's a really irritating place to go to, considering there's a whole mixture of people there AND out of the way to go home from.change bus here and there to get the fastest route.
hmmm, and now I'm wasting time here blogging.darnedest of darnedest.
yesterday I watched this episode (the first) of Girl from Hell. about some weird website called Hell Correspondence that appears only at midnight. if you key in the name of the person you wanna take revenge on, that person will disappear. then a girl will appear to you with a doll with a red string, that if you untie the red string, you'd enter into a contract with her.she'd bring this person to hell but when you die, your soul will also go to hell. yada yada, with all that occult bullshit. the first episode shows us this girl who got blackmarked by some girls with serious issues (a classic bullying incident). yeah well, she got blackmailed into doing serious things that put her into a bad light in the eyes of teachers and students. then she contracted this girl from hell and after much push factors, she untied the string.(cue in :"SO STUPID") and you get the picture. bully gets a review of her actions then gets sent to hell literally and the first candle is lit. the issue is, this episode portrayed something in our society that is pretty common.when people think having a hold on this innocent thing and making them do things against their conscience. they push them to the limit and then these people crack and tragedy ensues. I think this is an exaggeration that tells others that some people, although seemingly goody-two-shoes, can go to extremes like making a deal with the devil if pushed to the limits, even if to take care of just ONE person.the worst thing is, you'd never know when they do things like that, so it'd come at you like a whammy and then it's too late for regrets (if you fear going to hell or if you've still got a conscience). as i have said before, don't anyhow push people to the limits, you dunno what they're capable of. even the most harmless deer will sell its soul to the devil when at the end of the road.mmm, and play is play, but when play becomes pain, you know its not a game.
on a lighter note, i seriously dig this phone man shown above.absolutely funky in aesthetics.only disappointment is that it doesn't have that self-portrait mode where the camera's infront.haha.maybe when my k700i decide to cough out on me.yeah.haha
escorted @ 11:06 AM;
Monday, June 4
A Mutton Incident
Its a Sunday night
Firstly, the PC show was like some super waste of time.I ended up just looking at laptops and THEN going outside to do work. Yeah, I kinda felt guilty wasting my time doing nothing but stand in the crowd. Seriously man...like they should try to make the walkways bigger or something. I felt really uneasy standing in the same spot for 5 bloody minutes. and yeah, I saw the sony babes parade go past like 2 times. I thought it was some unfair marketing to go use such methods to promote your gadgets to the public. Haha, i saw like this whole entourage of fans trying to catch a photoshot of the girls. They were practically running up and down la.
Then I tuned into the muttons show at night. They were doing say it with music. and I came across this incident whereby some dumb 'tard sent in a sms saying how much he loved his girl with this Lub...with a little bit of Muachx muachx. seriously, Justin managed to actually pronounce the twit words properly and made twit language sound like alien. Then Vernon said that we were having aliens amongst us. I thought that was most correct. like what the hell man, that prick was like corrupting our standards of English with that disgusting "Lub" and xx at the end of his funky kiss. gosh, he should invest in a dictionary or maybe some English courses cos where I am standing, he's probably only good for coffeeshop talk. then our English-deficient listener went on to send in a rebut( as if he wasn't embarrassing enough) that he was sending it to his girlfriend in HOSPITAL with all that "how dare you say until like that...you go to hell la..."Vernon's response was to tell him to go to a station which doesn't speak English i think. I thought it was another appropriate response. ok for one thing, this guy's girl is in hospital, which means she most probably wouldn't be listening in and hence can't really get the dickhead's intentions. and the world's moving at such a fast pace, who the hell would stop and listen and be sensitive to this guy's sentiments to his girl. so justifying whatever English or alien language with him sending it to his girlfriend with the excuse that she's in hospital and hence don't criticize it...is simply unfathomable. like big deal...I'm sure she loves you alot and you probably don't have to tell the world that with "muackx muackx" stupid twit language.of course, the worst thing is that in your bid to rebut whatever was said, this guy actually bothered to send in another sms (costing 30 cents) . like he's totally loaded and has found the appropriate channels man. my advice...seriously, go read the dictionary. and for crying out loud, sms in English not twitese.
i watched this japanese art show on central.kinda weird.about some kid who's JBK (jap born korean) northern one at that, then converted to southern. he's trying to deal with life in japan and I didn't know that japanese viewed koreans and chinese blood as "dirty". it certainly brought this theme of alienation well. and the love story brought flavour to the theme la. the girl looked abit like the misa girl from Death note the movie.even sounded the same. i thought everyone's reaction to lil troubles was kinda exaggerated. like the taxi driver that stopped the taxi and then shouted at the guy for disrespecting the father( some incident when he said something rude and condemning) or the girl's reaction to him telling her that he's korean. and the father beating up the guy in the police station without any policeman tellin him to stop.i don't know how that is possible. the teacher in the north korean school also hit students for speaking japanese ("i wanna take a shit") and also for leaving to join a japanese school. the basketballers ganging up on the guy with their basketball. everyone seeking to pick a fight with his after the basketballers. the most significant one was when Jong-il his friend went to get enraged at this japanese youngster picking up some korean girl at the train station.i think it was cos she was related to him in an intimate way but it was kinda ambiguous. but the highlight of that incident was that the youngster just took a knife and slashed his throat. just like that and a good man dies. i was like shocked that it happened man.sheesh...
oh well anyway, there's three weeks left. i think it's time to step up the gear. this means almost zero blogging and zero online activities.bloody wole soyinka's like so abstract that i can't understand his poems.not even the context of it.and i'm just too lazy to go study for huck finn or practise unseen English. among all the subjects, maths is the most prepared one cos everything's application. business needs some serious fine tuning. bio needs some serious burning into memory and practising. Chem is too slow. needs faster. i need higher efficiency man....
to see everything go to waste just cos i went offtrack is so...i dunno...kinda undeserving.haha.but who cares? if there's any room for friendship left, then it'd be good.but if not, then nvm lor...not that i'm bochup but not use harping over it when nothing can be done.heh
argh...to studies. and i'm growing fat. screw this URTI man. i wish this phlegm will disappear man.so i can start running again
escorted @ 1:33 AM;
Sunday, June 3
NEW SKIN
PHEW! i finally changed the skin. it's less morbid than that chick in red with tattoos.yeah but the theme is the same la.still got that big scythe though.
i've changed the song to Linkin Park's Shadow of the Day
enjoy
escorted @ 2:52 AM;
Saturday, June 2
Lovely Moments
yeah, absolutely...the movies i watched last year. these are the scenes i found touching.more to come up i think... from the lake house and my sassy girl
escorted @ 1:38 AM;
Friday, June 1
Hope...
Franchise - an agreement between two businesses where a business (franchisor) allows another business(franchisee) to sell products under its name.
example: UNSW-Asia
and i hate it when others just say "sorry" as a feelgood thingy. damage is done, instead of saying sorry, action should be taken to reverse the damage not the two wrongs make one right but at least alleviate the sufferring. if there's seriously nothing you can do, then saying sorry is perhaps the only way.
i'm crossing over to this issue now cos i've recently realised the gravity of my actions. and it seems that i've been living some dream for a long time.i won't say how long but in my bid to hold up my mental inhibitions on my desires and overcoming of my personal demons i have sacrificed some people. this whole mama drama mental battle was essential cos i was losing control over my...shamefully emotional nature.but the sacrifices that went up in flames cos of my actions and strategies was not worth it. what i wouldn't give to have everything reversed to normal, it's hardly possible. so i'm bothering about it when i've gotta study. i've put the past behind me but i'm not back at square one. this whole round of turmoil has given me an idea of my weaknesses and probably a biological curse.i dunno how long i can keep this up cos just today i was still trying to suppress.but this incident's given me enough reason to stop this whole emotional bullshit.made me remember why i have to suppress it.not just cos of myself but it hurts others. i can't say i'm back at square one or before it all started.cos the changes outside and inside are probably permanent.to err is human, but to forgive is not.that's why i'm probably not gonna like go pandering after your forgiveness. this is probably it was meant to be and even if the pain of a friendship lost hits me, i can only let it be lor. there's alot more i want to say, but it'd be rather long and i ain't staying long.but if there's anything within my means to have things return to before i engage myself in mental battle, i'd do it. if not then, i can only say "sorry" cos i definitely can't alleviate suffering
check out the numbers of people entering duke school of medicine, it tells you the wonders of hope. it's a dangerous thing.
the price of the spiritual world(intangible friendships) just for a shot of dopamine to the head: not worth it
