Morning falls like rain into the city life There goes another night Losing my breath in waves Knowing that ever crash is bleading the hourglass And taking the strife from all our lives
Everyone keeps talking They promise you everything But they don't mean anything
We may loose our focus There's just too many words We're never meant to learn And we don't feel so alive
So goodbye, these days are gone And we can't keep holding on When all we need is some relief Though these hard times Through these hard times
Move your hands in circles Keeping me hypnotized The power behind your eyes Move around your bedroom cursing the naked sky You should be here tonight But you stay alone and cry
Say goodbye, these days are gone And we can't keep holding on When all we need is some relief Through these hard times (whoa) There's something missing (Oh whoa) You'll never feel it but you (Oh whoa) You're gonna feel it when it's gone When it's gone
Say goodbye, these days are gone And we can't keep holding on When all we need is some relief Through these hard times (hey) these Hard times (oh no now) Hard times Hard times
Say goodbye, these days are gone Say goodbye, these days are gone These days are gone
escorted @ 2:03 AM;
Sunday, December 30
we're all tired...
We awake, while they still prowl The air is chilled, time not right to me, it's not yet end of night the moon's still high in the sky
the skin walkers they run the day we put on our coats for a line as the beastials show themselves snarling and gnashing their teeth
their bark and their bite don't but the flesh of civilisation strips as inherent darkness swarms to taint our souls in the smoke
as curses norm their mouths the impressionable echo loud How, they learn so fast but yet never understand the ends
at the end of the day, we're here we grow tired, we grow high I fear how this strips humanity I wonder about the soul purity
escorted @ 11:43 PM;
Tuesday, December 25
Hark The Herald Angels Sing
2000 years plus ago, a woman got pregnant unexpectedly without her fiance's insemination and gave birth to this boy of extraordinary destiny but yet of humble origins. God and sinners reconciled through this boy.
The three magi who offered gifts and the drummer boy who delivered his drum performance
The angels who sang and celebrated this day in the heavens in front of the shepherds
This boy, Jesus Christ, is Christmas...
escorted @ 1:00 AM;
Sunday, December 23
when we finally kiss goodnight
oh the weather outside is frightful while these trees entrap us here a dash of discipline and a shot of regimentation and bad English
The uniform's stained with blood, sweat and dirt. This is just the beginning. We've been stuck here eons ago that eternity has passed us by
A mere ten-second tick is slow as the spirits reach a new low In the distance a ghostly piano as a symphony sobs in my ears
I miss this epiphany of the past Old notes and scales, the familiar The bar rests and a new tempo pace and rhythm irregular
the relics are still retained though they come into dreams, apparitions the reminders of what was lost that I awake in cold sweat and tears
escorted @ 10:11 PM;
Friday, December 14
I wish we didn't have to go through this change...
I remember days on track when we thought we'd never lack what ignorant larks we were doing deeds we could never understand
Over games of this and that the petty ones we'd laugh about Forgetting the unpleasant times how the moments are cast in stone
someday, someone still strums a song that we all know, singing along with blotchy cheeks and swollen eyes our strained smiles say everything
look at this photograph, every time I look at it, it makes me laugh When we smiled for today and tomorrow Now I wish we relive yesterday
I was one of the jealous ones my eyes lit with green, even as light reflects off the rain in them That dark clouds and lighting blocked
Now those days are gone forever They have to fly eventually But I couldn't stand at the runway To watch them take off and wave goodbye
And the door looms so close... I turn the knob and wipe my eye This is the hour between the past and the future that we know nothing about
escorted @ 11:47 PM;
in this solitary moment
Shall not write no poetry or what today.basket, tis the last few days of boyhood, before getting verbally abused and stripped of freedom in some anti-thesis of civilization, where lights go out at 2230...
am I nostalgic? naw, I guess I'm just reluctant. I miss those AC days too much. Finally we stop wearing school uniform with all our bloody standards of socks and this and that. It really is the case that I only cherish those days when they're at an end. I thought we wouldn't see the day when the exams ended (like the stuff of legends where people say long time more la). I had imagined a hundred scenarios of goodbyes at prom, but not like what had really happened. Frankly, we were smiling but we never said anything there. I imagined that it'd be full of tears but then the girls' makeup will run so it never happened.
The whole year, I was actually dreading that day. I counted in numbers and panicked when the numbers dwindled so fast like that.Sometimes I try to forget but I can't (at this point, I'm gonna say this. There is not alota love in my heart, period) Probably I suffer from a flawed paradigm that goes into infinite regress.
You know, I don't think I do one of em Godly acts nor have that much of zeal in me (I actually get freaked out by tongues, or when fellow Christians worship like a cult) Flame me all you want, but I still don't see anything from that point of view. Perhaps my time is not now, that alota things block my view. But I'm not that keen to go nuts like that (really no ofense but i couldn't find another way of describing it)
UYOs...come to think of it. What have I gained from being in one (esp being in it for so long...)? almost nothing. It's like a clown show and then again,you know what to expect.
I'll miss freedom. This Christmas was s'posed to be the free-est of them all, but I guess it's not meant to be. I'm made in this cycle cos of other factors that I shall not say... I leave a tear or two here, cos it has more use here than in THAT island. Life was never meant to be fair, but it doesn't mean we keep up our smiles like mad, the emotional attachments to parts of the old life is enough to make us want to stop moving forward. If everyone wants to be a doctor, who'll be the patients? If everyone wants to be a lawyer, who'll be the accused? What are the girls doing now? They're all also moving on. applying for unis and sitting for tests and all. Christianne is still in Paris (YEah, you got special mention cos you never even come have any farewell dinners for us...and I was s'posed to go learn from your mom how to cook those wonderful gourmet) Some are working too. I think I've always saidthis "We have too little time la!" and there's never a time when I wished there was less. I wanted to relive moments that are memories. Perhaps I hold onto the past too much with all my "Last this...last that..." Every single last moment brings me close to that ball in my throat feeling
What is a future? One that's uncertain and full of question marks. I don't like such random variables. I don't like this feeling at all. Like a bad feeling in your abdomen, something wriggling and struggling against change. The setting is bad enough, the characters are short of one that I shall not elaborate on.
I picked this song. I heard it when I was young but never understood what it meant. Now I think I do. This song brought up an emotion in me when we studied in BK at Rafflescity (cos the management loved to play this CD of oldies that had this song) This song made top charts in 1968 I think. Based off a Russian folk dance song
Those Were The Days by Mary Hopkins
Once upon a time there was a tavern Where we used to raise a glass or two Remember how we laughed away the hours And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way. La la la la... Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Then the busy years went rushing by us We lost our starry notions on the way If by chance I'd see you in the tavern We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way. La la la la... Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Just tonight I stood before the tavern Nothing seemed the way it used to be In the glass I saw a strange reflection Was that lonely woman really me
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way. La la la la... Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Through the door there came familiar laughter I saw your face and heard you call my name Oh my friend we're older but no wiser For in our hearts the dreams are still the same
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way. La la la la... Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
and by the way, to this person...STOP DOING STRANGE THINGS AROUND ME LIKE THAT!! I'm bloody freaked out by it all and I wish to be left alone from such sayings in my last day. Don't even SMS me about this or that...I'm not interested, period. Not now, not in the near future. STOP IT
escorted @ 1:40 AM;
Thursday, December 13
immature. childish
This is a past I turn from the future is so uncertain I resist the possibilities and hate the inevitabilities
This is a world that crumbles our past lives fade from view as a new reality forces its way and I stand in its way
This is my last stand against the wind of change defending my relics ancient from the spiteful and pain
This is another world I'm an alien with hot cheeks awkward in where I stand the floor burns my bare soles
This is my life now A spot where someone is amiss Though things are different now I still wait at the same place...
this is the land of the disenchanted you blur out the magic and here If I was so wrong about this then the point wasn't even there
This is a beautiful soul I know There won't be another to meet so it's well worth the wait but I hope to hear her speak again
escorted @ 12:51 AM;
Tuesday, December 11
i hate the ending myself
but it started with an alright scene...
the songs that I know, erased all melody, all tempo, all lyrics blanked out into oblivion memories don't forget themselves
I remember the old scoresheet of musical notes unplayed and unseen chords all heard wrongly and the audience leave the hall hastily
The piece had said "Allegro" written on its top right hand corner with notes in staccato and bends a continuous array of sound
With hasty keys, the treble and bass cleft clashed in collision and discord "we've never gone back to the past" the left hand's lost its touch and tips
I still can play with my right awkward and painful pauses between ghosts of old songs linger in my ears as I tried holding on to tunes of yesterday
the metronome doesn't play rhythm in reverse, nor in novelty or others I'll still remember this piece best the music of a soul that I've seen.
woots...in tribute to my lost music files on my creative player AND that magical piano piece from "Secret"...and underlying theme
escorted @ 1:48 AM;
Sunday, December 9
nobody said it was easy
We play the game of hope with much at stake putting our faith to the test not knowing the result or prize
in our passion we grow unwise that emotion clouds our senses in our sorrow God's always there but our tears block the sight
there are no figures nor formula to anticipate what plans and others but I'm tired of the unknown Let me take a break for once
it's not easy nobody said it was easy
escorted @ 1:33 AM;
Friday, December 7
Never coming back
The last candle on the stand a flickering flame on the wick, struggling as the cape settles in again I close the blinds and turn away
December frost creeps on my window as a jewel, and another, falls slowly every flake different from another but only one's a unique diamond
I've lit all the candles there are now there's no more light nor warmth I watch each day pass with dread that the cold slowly seeps in
There's no walking after more when there's no proper papers The doors are hard and guards strong I finally can't see in the dark
There's no talking tonight the shadows laugh so quietly while the silence is so loud decibels of gray and white
Then the thread snaps, sharp I stare at the frays, stunned as the lines of frost melt another track down the ridges
Sitting against the wall as they gather again for a dance I try to force that smile, alone "So this is finally the end.."
my mp3 player had to be replaced...without the songs inside...heartbreak heartbreak. all my songs
escorted @ 11:23 PM;
Thursday, December 6
sounds better acoustic
Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5
I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen She left before I had the chance to say Oh The words that would mend the things that were broken But now it's far too late, she's gone away
Every night you cry yourself to sleep Thinking: "Why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard?" Hard to believe that
It's not over tonight Just give me one more chance to make it right I may not make it through the night I won't go home without you
The taste of her breath, I'll never get over The noises that she made kept me awake Oh The weight of things that remain unspoken Built up so much it crushed us everyday
Every night you cry yourself to sleep Thinking: "Why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard?" Hard to believe that
It's not over tonight Just give me one more chance to make it right I may not make it through the night I won't go home without you
It's not over tonight Just give me one more chance to make it right I may not make it through the night I won't go home without you
Of all the things I felt but never really shown Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh
It's not over tonight Just give me one more chance to make it right I may not make it through the night I won't go home without you
It's not over tonight Just give me one more chance to make it right I may not make it through the night I won't go home without you And I won't go home without you And I won't go home without you And I won't go home without you
escorted @ 2:29 PM;
Wednesday, December 5
on a less personal note
Now we stand at the crossroads with one road pointing east and the other point west As I wish we didn't have to come here
How we'd wish back yesterday how we toiled and we smiled We were anxious for it to end but never thought after
Days, hours, minutes and seconds We've spent them all for now The currency changes, fluctuating but the costs are now greater
I remember the days in white of red, blue and gold colours Now they're grey and yellow Faded all in photographs
See them smile so silly There were never enough shots We could never get tired of snaps to put memories down to film
The corridors are empty now as they echo the whispers of the past It's too late to say anything now as we move along in life
I've kept words in my chest that stay silent for the best but I hold an album of times past and within a picture close to my heart
escorted @ 7:59 PM;
eat this
Another day has passed as the sand in the hourglass grows thinner, the second hand pushes itself against the common will
Oh, even they have lost their chatter the cold winter presses on still all that stupid inevitable of greenery as I wonder what kind of plan is this
I've tried building bridges my papers disallow my crossing over seas, in cars and buses checkpoints and immigrations
There lies the old piano not played I lay my fingers on Ebony and Ivory as they forgot how they met staying silent forever...
The grandfather clock chimes again yet another has passed, as history collects the ashes all in an urn, not sparing the ones who don't let go
I'm walking on the hills at night as I remember the sunshine of the days The book lies there in the evening as a note of reluctance struggles to leave its mark
I'm weary of it all, the ears don't help I don't curse my own existence here but I rage at this scheme or plan and wonder what the hell is it all for.
escorted @ 12:25 AM;
Saturday, December 1
if i was so wrong
Essentially, fundamentally Seasons don't change for our minds I can't stop the leaves from falling all in the heart of autumn
This land of disenchantment, too real Where did the magic of it, all gone? Now, will it matter if the night was long? Could it have ever made a diff, or not?
Well, it's a low on the sprites They've lost the strength in their fights Can they get back what's not that two years have taken away
It's such a long wait, with no end in sight How do we trust God, if it's all so tight? and sometimes we may be wrong there's no friend to listen us through
And now there's nothing to bite the river flows in to smite the tears can't be too nothing too light and after this all, there's nothing that can be said
If I'm so wrong, so wrong how can it happen to take so long Now let me wait the sudden years before I ask this old man, "what now?"
Essentially, fundamentally spring was never about sorrow they could never understand what a single winter knows
