angel and mortal

it's a long time since i posted

2009-04-04T16:08:00.002+08:00

and i guess there's nothing much to blog about these days. I'm bored

I keep getting caught for various misdemeanors by my new RSM~ I can't imagine my luck

A cartoon Love song

2009-01-28T16:56:00.001+08:00

I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren’t there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways around create a great sound
To my motion fatigue: farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves in underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on?
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights when we count all the ship lights
I guess I’ll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn off all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

*So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love? all the time*
Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Time together is just never quite enough
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time

It's amazingly sweet. I could never write stuff like that. This is The Saltwater Room by Owl City. I oughta go out and get his CD

Reflections?

2009-01-04T17:40:00.002+08:00

I.Blogged.Like.A.Retard in the past

2008: the only month I felt alive in December. 1 out of 12, I must be a 2008 zombie

I don't wanna know what lies in 2009 mann

frustration

2008-12-28T16:12:00.002+08:00

I have up to that much of anger held to my chest mann. I just hate ill-logic or poor reason. I hate it most when people cannot justify their decisions that affect others (Wait, don't most decisions do that?) I'm about to revisit the past of Flaming

Let's call them Rank Bullies (RB for short)
These are a specific buncha people WHO hold this cool little emblems. They are characterized by their arrogance, sadism, lack of flexibility and most importantly, the inability to explain themselves. They are not pitiful, no they are not. They spend their whole lives in this work force that nobody can fathom how anyone could uphold such dedication. and now when it comes to work, They pull rank. WOW. I didn't expect such a response to come from whom whom whom but it actually did. I thought he was much more flexible than that when he was in the wrong even.

You know what? I think old men like to bully. Just because your rank is SO BIG, you can actually stifle arguments. So what's the point in all these "Leadership: Speak up" when it only needs one VETO by these illogical life-forms? This is a Fact of Life here, BUT IT SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED. IT'S A THREAT THAT SHOULD BE ELIMINATED. I shall not speak more due to the sensitivity of the whole issue

On another note
Why're we attracted to some things and yet not affected by so many others? I don't know man

Lines and Circles

2008-12-14T19:20:00.002+08:00

Paint my world again
wish it's just another plain sheet
any colours and any media
there are no limits

In this dream of black white grey
when the track goes on and on
we think in lines that divide
more often than not
or we wish not to

in worlds of different shades
different swirls make different
colours make different worlds
of rings and moons

atmospheres make good fences
barring outsiders and keeping
insiders in ignorance where
empathy is the key

as crystals grow in our
fortresses of solitude
where the weather outside gets colder
and prometheus still didn't come

in dreams when our worlds were the same
i saw the circles and lines
the levels that I'm not
like a truth hitting you from
outer space

we're humans in different worlds
with different lights from the
same sun and we couldn't
dance the same again

time is lost and we lose
ourselves, there should be more
we hope but nothing left

the lines and circles divide
the infinite differentiations
the layers separate and
they get lifted

sensitivities have failed in
this painful place we call
the world
we should feel happy
for fireworks
but I've become an alien here

walk into the twilight now
where lines bend and
circles straighten to a world
when we can live again

and that's one year of soldiering today now...

Christmas Must be something more

2008-12-08T18:02:00.000+08:00

What if ribbons and bows didn't mean a thing?
Would the song still survive without five golden rings?
Would you still wanna kiss without a mistletoe?
What would happen if God never let it snow?
What would happen if Christmas Carols told a lie?
Tell me what you would find

You'd say that today holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
So here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something more

What if angels did not pay attention to
All the things that we wish they would always do
What if happiness came in a cardboard box?
Then I'd think there was something we all forgot
What would happened presents all went away
Tell me what would you find

You'd say that today holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
So here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something more

We get so caught up in all of it
Business and relationships
100 mile an hour lives
And it's this time of year
And everybody's here
It seems the last thing on your mind

Is that the day holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to Jesus Christ who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
Here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something…
Christmas must be something…
Christmas must be something more
There's gotta be more…
There's gotta be more…

lovely song by Taylor Swift

I feel a cold wind coming along

2008-12-05T21:12:00.002+08:00

it felt like this a long time ago. the day before taking my English finals. The feeling of dread and fear of the unknown. and the feeling that somehow deep down inside, my English essay will screw up and give me my current grade.

but that's past

now it's another of em exams. I think I've caught a phobia for exams. That sickly feeling of working for something and then it might just blow back on you, betraying you. For that, I daren't pin any hope on this.

Which is better? to be set down a path you don't really want? or to be absolutely lost in the illusion of alternatives? It's abit dumb blaming your own siblings for this fate, but it doesn't help feeling sorry for yourself for your entire life.

I think it's even worse blaming fate for bad life...but that's that.

Is there any way out of living up to expectations? or can I live with myself for being such a fail? It depends on perspective, that probably needs to be changed

I feel that this was a year meant to test me, and, short of the sanity part, I think I've failed big time. As of where I am now, I'm nowhere...or I rather anywhere but here

I feel a cold Christmas coming up...when results get revealed

That same feeling again...

Successful people should try inheriting my parents and my sister. At least, when I'm here, I have a little less pressure

would you find meaning for me?

2008-11-30T20:04:00.002+08:00

once again here
on a black brick road
leaden with gravel
with yet some more load

it goes long and hard
and destination unknown
struggling to make a mark
on a place scarred by many

they crawled and the toiled
ignoring them dancing around
a little green tree
decorated with stars

there is no one here
that the journey can endure
and it carried on and on
one step at a time

wake me up when we're there
for it's too long to stay
awake both night and day
for a meaningless leg and shoe

I hate wars

2008-11-23T17:43:00.002+08:00

seriously, when I say do something, I mean it. I'm not a slacker, but there's really no point in my being all enthu about something when MEN question me...superiors treat me like one of them before we even prove ourselves

Goodbye passion, hello slacking NOT

and I weave my emotions into the night with this...

2008-11-22T21:03:00.001+08:00

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say "I believe.
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

-Ahh, ahh-
Keep holding on
-Ahh, ahh-
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Loan me some pages

2008-11-16T19:35:00.002+08:00

Give me a little diary
I can pen thoughts into
my little solace fairy
that noone can read too

there's stars there's moon
but nothing describes you
some words not in my
limited sense of vocabulary

forgive this lil flint
as I still tread lost paths
my little black pen can
only write so many words

it's been some time now
there's been some kinda lull
how've you been going there
breathing tis lil thin air

on a night when I walked
those closed streets again
when the cinema had its last
film of November dust

the picture's faded away
and I couldn't keep it in for a day
wrap that book in plastic
but it doesn't bring us closer to where we want to be

Tail we'll try again

2008-11-02T04:30:00.000+08:00

Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world, be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

When's this fever gonna break ?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
Get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again, oh

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I'll say why don't you and I get together take and on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I`ll say why don't you and I get together and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

space dementia

2008-11-02T00:33:00.002+08:00

standing here all alone
in the middle of nowhere
don't know which way
to go - here or there

our words are lost here
where no air carries sound
lost voices with zero time
useless thrusters and engines

just to see you again
walking down that same lane
just a year after there
no matter how you're

we're gone tonight

2008-11-01T01:32:00.002+08:00

to another world
to a place unknown
where we'd never see
each other again

there's a dim moon
and a late night
morning light's far away
maybe just a day or two

if I let go now
the path is dark
and I'd lose my way
down there in the night

this time I wonder what it feels like

2008-10-26T00:42:00.000+08:00

Gotta Be Someone by Nickelback

This time
I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holdin' my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right
It's just like Déjà Vu
Me standin' here with you
So I'll be holdin' my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I spend forever with?

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up!
Lookin' for that diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you're holdin' on
'Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.

compare them

2008-10-18T01:14:00.002+08:00

Half Alive by Secondhand Serenade

It's four AM, I'm waking up to your perfume
Don't get up, I'll get through on my own
I don't know if I'm home
Or if I lost the way into your room
I'm spiraling into my doom
I'm feeling half alive but I know one day
You and I will be free,

To live and die by our own rules,
Free..
Despite the fact that men are fools.

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.

Well excuse me while I get killed softly,
Heart slows down and I can hardly tell you I'm okay
At least 'til yesterday,
You know you got me off my highest guard,
Believe me when I say it's hard.
We'll get through this tonight
And I know one day you and I will be free

To live and die by our own rules,
Free..
Despite the fact that men are fools.

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.

And you touch my hand ever so slightly
(Girl we're not ready for this yet)
And the deadly look she cast upon me
I won't regret, I won't regret
I won't regret. I won't regret...

And I was trying to disappear,
But you got me wrapped around you
I can hardly breathe without you
I was trying to disappear
But I got lost in your eyes now,
You brought me down to size now.

I'm almost alive
And I need you to try and save me.
It's okay that we're dying
But I need to survive tonight, tonight
Tonight...

I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
And save me.
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.
I need to survive tonight, tonight

Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade

Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold out side
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that you're scared like me so
lets pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepeared
but I don´t care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you´re so sure
please don´t tell me that I´m the only one that´s vulnerable
impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
isn´t that a song already
I get a B in originality
and its true I can´t go on without you
your smile makes me see clear
if you could only see in the mirror what I see

and your slowly shaking finger tips
show that you're scared like me so
lets pretend were alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepeared
but I don´t care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you´re so sure
please don´t tell me that I´m the only one that´s vulnerable
impossible

slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see
maybe I´m much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn´t mean you shouldn´t bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you´re so sure
please don´t tell me that I´m the only one that´s vulnerable
impossible

feel like this...Secondhand Serenade before Fall For You

re-signed

2008-10-18T00:58:00.002+08:00

dim as street lights
shone as they fight
and she throws her hands
in giving up on him

she rushes away
hurriedly, without a delay
hopin he'd start after
but he had not

drunk as he was
the smell of alcohol
reeking in his breath
waiting for your call

he is stained and pained
stumbling over himself
tugging at heartstrings
of nobody and nothing

if I could answer your heart
may we make a restart
when tomorrow's a new day
for us, you and me, I pray

don't walk away, I'm broken
I'm in need of a token
let me wake up with you by
my side, i'd never leave you by

and he mutters those words
to himself, as silence rained
inwards to his soul when nothing
rang a bell, lost a memory

recession

2008-10-12T17:55:00.002+08:00

I realised something. Sometimes it's usually because of money that many sign on (you know what la) I'm fine now life in here. it's almost recession proof. meaning when it hits in, it's em perm staff that'd and temp staff that won't be affected. It's the fear of facing the outside world that people hide in here. so stable, so resilent, what's not to like.and the best part is....they don't value you for your education (like you only need O levels to be in mann)

but....still no way mann

paint a picture

2008-10-10T00:56:00.002+08:00

come let us take a picture
a photo of yester year
to remember our final days
as we toiled and struggled again

the little "do not disturb" sign
with a little selfish "shhhh"
spent our days having fun
all hung up in the library

retreat to our little corners
as we utilize our different methods
we take a thousand pictures
to capture a single memory

one year we're still on
walking a different path
we're far apart from one another
as we see the pictures of yesterday

come, let us gather once more
and let the shutter roll
let's take a picture again
of today once more

I Like this song

2008-09-28T19:39:00.001+08:00

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not... broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Whos waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

Maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move

very fairytale like...haha

somewhere in between

2008-09-28T17:26:00.002+08:00

that's just a little off from where I am. Ambiguous huh? My dinner yesterday was 3 slices of peanut butter bread, and an apple
but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

I can't imagine myself doing this for the next 30 years?

Covet

2008-09-21T17:30:00.004+08:00

"Don't we all think we were meant for something great and suddenly every thing gets taken away from you?" or something like it was mentioned by Jordan Rourk (Elisha Cuthbert) in My Sassy Girl, a 2008 remake of the Korean original. This was in the soldier scene...

We're all not special with some destiny promised to us without working and we all go through said scene up there when everything just goes down. When everything goes down, some of us covet. Yes, we wish we had this and that and blah blah blah

I think the root of evil is actually coveting. To wish you have something starts a seed of evil that begins growing in your mind. Nudging at you, with a seedling of greed. To want. blooms when you don't get and bitterness is its flower.

Most villains covet. I watched windriders 2 whereby the antagonist desired so much power that it drove him to commit so much atrocities. a boy raised by a pugilist became such a power monger ended up consumed by the power he sought and attained. It got creepy at the part when his body, ripped apart, crawled back together

Nothing worked so far this yr (including this lousy posting). I'm tired. I probably don't wanna covet cos it doesn't make me evil just one ranting lunatic.

Did I really not work as hard as my peers last year?Was it wrong to not have a clear direction on what I want to do? I couldn't have been so enamoured as to UNDER perform... but yet I still underperformed

Lord, show Your mighty hand and point it in the direction where You want me to go because I'm lost for life and tired. I hate this National Service and am unhappy in my unit. From where I stand, I feel like I'm running into a wall as of now. Lord, please...

Suck on this mann

2008-09-21T01:04:00.001+08:00

Soldiers Make Good Targets by Stereophonics

What kind of pace are we living now?
Watching wars live, via satellite
You carry a gun but no smoking inside
Escape disease yet I could get shot tonight

You
Shoot
You
Lose

The time has come and you're all alone
And you know you're not dreaming
It's heaven's door, you're ringing on the bell
Will they let you in, or you going to hell?

I'll take a war, I'll take mine with fries
Medium rare, wash a coke down with ice
Swallow it down no time to digest
What do you know, I'm feeling hungry again

You
Shoot
You
Loose

The time has come and you're all alone
And you know you're not dreaming
It's heaven's door, you're ringing on the bell
Will they let you in, or you going to hell?

One more abroad

2008-09-14T17:20:00.002+08:00

we've got minds in empty places
and no logic in meaningful spaces
we make plans and contingency
for incidents have no reality

what are forbidden streets
that free countrymen can't walk
a little gate barred by some
that lets threats in and out

it wasn't choice that brought us here
there's much future to be feared
we look stupid but noone bothers
because we blend right in

then I say "let's take to the runway"
and they point the finger at you
when we have to burn our pockets
purchasing self-ridicule and choice

they run and run, till they're short
and they still only made little
effort is given to things we want
to achieve in a single lifetime here

aye, there's weekends to burn
because we've nothing left to kill
the air reeks of foulness from incinerators
short of selling our own souls

this is the life we're made for
a little far cry from vision
stop looking at the colours
and see the painting of your home

there's much to be missed
but not as much to stay
a land of opportunities indeed
but many more rejections

when the road isn't so straight
where they've stopped smoothing
when they talk about us on TV
it's the reason why we're abroad

moonlight sonata

2008-09-14T01:39:00.002+08:00

let's dim the lights low
while we close the doors
etiquette takes a bow
as the chandelier turns

they spin round and round
waltzing under the twinkle
in new embrace they found
a partner on the ballroom floor

put on your mask now
clasp each others' palm
in a dance of the danger
and play a game of pretender

last light smooths out creases
made on the suits and dresses
posh and daring, elegance bares all
the theme for tonight:winter fall

food and drinks served for all
as there's jazz classical lyrical
latecomers not admitted; you are
invited to the moonlight sonata

goodness, there's no off in lieu of mid autumn. goodness! mooncakes kill my stomach and gives gastric

I don't wanna get turned out and get killed in action

I disapprove of alota ways people do things: especially when it's okay to take a life although there's a chance of a mistake

no one of the same rank, however senior, should go talk down to me when I only speak the language of humanity ( A life lost is never regained, don't say sorry and flash the card)